The Sasquatch Oddysey: Part Three
Nacho and I made our way into the darkened wood to seek out this new creature who'd been hitting on my bitch. Nacho finally broke the silence, "I dunno mang... when I used to run wetbacks across the border, sometimes we'd get attacked by coyotes, I think i'm kinda scurred mang."
"wetbacks nacho? Have you even seen yourself before?"
"Hey mang I gotta fuckin gree-card right here mang, those job stealin monkeys can suck my chimichanga younowhaddimean?"
And with a grab of his nuts, we were off.
About 2 miles into the forest we came across a strange bubbling sound off in a clearing. Upon further approach we witnessed an enormous, brown, hulking mass sitting down hunched over something. After assuring nacho that it was indeed not his ex-wife we ninja'd forward to see what this thing really was. It seemed the match the description perfectly, about 9 feet tall, brown fur, and it appeared to be able to stand upright. I gathered my courage and stepped in front of the beast. He was hunched over an amazing, intricate zong made out of tree bark and what appeared to be homemade glass. The creature was startled, but, being stoned off his ass, simply offered the zong to nacho. Without any hesitation whatsoever nacho grabbed the zong and lit up the biggest hit I have ever seen. He was insta-baked, "Holy fuckin frejoles man! This sasquatch shit is fuckin wicked"
I held out my strand of hair to sasquatch, "What exactly possessed you to walk your big ass through my fuckin wall?"
"Yeah sorry about that my friend, I was drunker'n shit and heard about this gnarly party through some rabbits I was wipin my ass with, I couldn't help myself"
His english was phenominal, considering he wasn't even human
"What about my girlfriend, ass-monger? Who do you think you are, hittin on my bitch?"
"Oh that wasn't me dude, that was that fuckin greek exchange student that just moved in, decided to take his shirt off I guess, hairy ass gyro"
After much discussion, and several bowls of sasquatch weed, I decided that sasquatch was an alright guy, and he had some seriously excellent weed.
And this my friends, is how I met sasquatch.
The end
"wetbacks nacho? Have you even seen yourself before?"
"Hey mang I gotta fuckin gree-card right here mang, those job stealin monkeys can suck my chimichanga younowhaddimean?"
And with a grab of his nuts, we were off.
About 2 miles into the forest we came across a strange bubbling sound off in a clearing. Upon further approach we witnessed an enormous, brown, hulking mass sitting down hunched over something. After assuring nacho that it was indeed not his ex-wife we ninja'd forward to see what this thing really was. It seemed the match the description perfectly, about 9 feet tall, brown fur, and it appeared to be able to stand upright. I gathered my courage and stepped in front of the beast. He was hunched over an amazing, intricate zong made out of tree bark and what appeared to be homemade glass. The creature was startled, but, being stoned off his ass, simply offered the zong to nacho. Without any hesitation whatsoever nacho grabbed the zong and lit up the biggest hit I have ever seen. He was insta-baked, "Holy fuckin frejoles man! This sasquatch shit is fuckin wicked"
I held out my strand of hair to sasquatch, "What exactly possessed you to walk your big ass through my fuckin wall?"
"Yeah sorry about that my friend, I was drunker'n shit and heard about this gnarly party through some rabbits I was wipin my ass with, I couldn't help myself"
His english was phenominal, considering he wasn't even human
"What about my girlfriend, ass-monger? Who do you think you are, hittin on my bitch?"
"Oh that wasn't me dude, that was that fuckin greek exchange student that just moved in, decided to take his shirt off I guess, hairy ass gyro"
After much discussion, and several bowls of sasquatch weed, I decided that sasquatch was an alright guy, and he had some seriously excellent weed.
And this my friends, is how I met sasquatch.
The end