You guys want some crack? XD
So you guys all remember this post by zsomeone, right? I mean, it's just a couple of posts down the page. You guys have to remember it. It told the dark tale of love unrequited between our favorite frontman, Nathan Explosion, and Doritos.
It was a tale that I'm sure has touched us all forever because, honestly, who here hasn't ever chased a sassy confection or salty munchy? But if you scroll down into the comments you will see that klokateer051 took it a step further by saying: "At least it isnt a dorito AND a taco! That shit will ruin marriages!"
Well, that got the gears turning. Let's explore this possibility, shall we? Ladies and Gentlemen of Capslok, I bring you the tale of .
It began like any typical day at Morhaus. Nathan Explosion was bored, and bored equals hungry, so he went to the fridge to find some noms.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!"
After this heart wrenching discovery, it was with a heavy mind and an empty stomach that Nathan ventured out into the dark world around him. His searching took him to a place that he never should have been. Taco Hell.
He stood outside the door and debated for a moment. Should he enter? Surely here, at this dirty little pub where the lowest members of society gather to get their fixes and fulfill their lustful fantasies, he would be able to find satisfaction for his hunger. Still, he could help but think of the one he'd left at Mordhaus. If he gave in to his base desire would he have a lover to go home to?
He debated. Should he enter?
He decided to enter.
At first, everything was alright. He found a quiet place to sit and just watched but it wasn't long before he was encountered by a spicy little number in a red dress. They hit it off immediately and despite knowing that he should just go home, Nathan stayed.
It wasn't long at all before she had made her move, tantalizing him with whiffs of her steamy hot sauce and 'accidental' flashes of her lascivious filling. She invited him to touch her crunchy shell and admire her toppings.
Soon Nathan could feel his hunger growing and he could no longer keep his hands to himself. With barley a word between them, they dashed off to find a party of their own. In retrospect, Nathan wouldn't even be able to remember how they got back to his room at Mordhaus or when her wrapper was removed. All he would remember was her standing there, naked, in her full glory.
Admittedly, he was a little nervous at first. He'd never been with anything like her before. He wasn't sure how to proceed.
She didn't let his nerve get the better of him though. She showed him just how to hold her, how to use her in the most wanton of ways.
And soon it was just too much for him. The tickle of her lettuce. The caress of her melty cheese. The warmth of her filling. He made a rapid climb and then...
BAM!!! "WHOOOOOOOO! FUCK YEAH!"
His elation was to be short lived, however. For when he looked down to see how his mistress had fared it seemed that the Dethklok curse had caught up with her.
Her broken shell and scattered fillings were all that was left of the once spicy temptress. At that exact moment, a familiar rumble clenched Nathan's stomach. He frowned at his own stupidity. Now there was no more taco and he had not been truly satisfied. In the end, he had been a one night stand for a home wrecker and he was still hungry.
So remember this tale of caution, my friends at Capslok. Never trust a munchy that is both a Dorito and a taco. That shit will ruin marriages.
.
.
.
.
Oh. And the jilted lover? You guys thought that I forgot, didn't you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Never piss off a ginger. They see all and they never forget.
It was a tale that I'm sure has touched us all forever because, honestly, who here hasn't ever chased a sassy confection or salty munchy? But if you scroll down into the comments you will see that klokateer051 took it a step further by saying: "At least it isnt a dorito AND a taco! That shit will ruin marriages!"
Well, that got the gears turning. Let's explore this possibility, shall we? Ladies and Gentlemen of Capslok, I bring you the tale of .
It began like any typical day at Morhaus. Nathan Explosion was bored, and bored equals hungry, so he went to the fridge to find some noms.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!"
After this heart wrenching discovery, it was with a heavy mind and an empty stomach that Nathan ventured out into the dark world around him. His searching took him to a place that he never should have been. Taco Hell.
He stood outside the door and debated for a moment. Should he enter? Surely here, at this dirty little pub where the lowest members of society gather to get their fixes and fulfill their lustful fantasies, he would be able to find satisfaction for his hunger. Still, he could help but think of the one he'd left at Mordhaus. If he gave in to his base desire would he have a lover to go home to?
He debated. Should he enter?
He decided to enter.
At first, everything was alright. He found a quiet place to sit and just watched but it wasn't long before he was encountered by a spicy little number in a red dress. They hit it off immediately and despite knowing that he should just go home, Nathan stayed.
It wasn't long at all before she had made her move, tantalizing him with whiffs of her steamy hot sauce and 'accidental' flashes of her lascivious filling. She invited him to touch her crunchy shell and admire her toppings.
Soon Nathan could feel his hunger growing and he could no longer keep his hands to himself. With barley a word between them, they dashed off to find a party of their own. In retrospect, Nathan wouldn't even be able to remember how they got back to his room at Mordhaus or when her wrapper was removed. All he would remember was her standing there, naked, in her full glory.
Admittedly, he was a little nervous at first. He'd never been with anything like her before. He wasn't sure how to proceed.
She didn't let his nerve get the better of him though. She showed him just how to hold her, how to use her in the most wanton of ways.
And soon it was just too much for him. The tickle of her lettuce. The caress of her melty cheese. The warmth of her filling. He made a rapid climb and then...
BAM!!! "WHOOOOOOOO! FUCK YEAH!"
His elation was to be short lived, however. For when he looked down to see how his mistress had fared it seemed that the Dethklok curse had caught up with her.
Her broken shell and scattered fillings were all that was left of the once spicy temptress. At that exact moment, a familiar rumble clenched Nathan's stomach. He frowned at his own stupidity. Now there was no more taco and he had not been truly satisfied. In the end, he had been a one night stand for a home wrecker and he was still hungry.
So remember this tale of caution, my friends at Capslok. Never trust a munchy that is both a Dorito and a taco. That shit will ruin marriages.
.
.
.
.
Oh. And the jilted lover? You guys thought that I forgot, didn't you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Never piss off a ginger. They see all and they never forget.