:)
...
WELL, I DO HAVE A LOT TO SAY AS TO RECENT EVENTS.
FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T WANT TO ON ACCOUNT OF THE INSULTS TO MY TEA BUT SINCE IT MAY BE "PREGNANCY AVERSIONS" AND I DID ACT RATHER INAPPROPRIATELY IN RESPONSE, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY AND ALL SCREAMING, YELLING, BENDING, AND GENERAL HARM I CAUSED BEFORE GETTING... BRAINED BY KANNA.
I ALSO AGAIN, DON'T WANT TO, BUT OUT OF COURTESY WILL APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF MY ATROCIOUS, DESPICAPLE, AND ONLY-DESCRIBABLE-AS-INSANE ACTIONS THAT I CAUSED DURING MY TEMPORARY, ER, ILLNESS. KANNA, I BLAME YOU FOR THAT. IF I EVER REGRETTED LOVING YOU BEFORE, I REALLY DO NOW.
BUT I DO HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS!
WHEN I FIRST WANDERED AWAY AFTER COMING BACK TO MY SENSES, I WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT MY REACTIONS AND ALL I'VE DONE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS THAT ARE FRANKLY REGRETTABLE. I KNEW THERE WOULDN'T REALLY BE A WAY TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF THAT. BUT I STILL HOPED FOR SOME FORM OF SALVATION.
AND IT CAME.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE FOUND THE ONE, TRUE GOD.
THIS IS THE GIANT RUBBER DUCK THAT IS THE ONE TRUE GOD. AS HE TOLD ME, HE IS USUALLY REFERRED TO AS "DUCKGOD" BY HIS FOLLOWERS, WHO HAVE NAMED THE ONE TRUE RELIGION WORSHIPPING HIM "ENGINEFIVER". (APPARENTLY THIS IS BECAUSE HE WISHES HE HAD AN ENGINE TO MOVE AROUND MORE EASILY, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY HE'S CURRENTLY SURROUNDED BY BOATS AS HE SEARCHES FOR AN APPROPRIATE VEHICLE, AND BECAUSE HE WISHES HE HAD FIVE TOES ON EACH FOOT INSTEAD OF THREE. HEAVEN KNOWS WHY HE WISHES FOR THESE THINGS, OR WHY HE CANNOT CHANGE THEM HIMSELF.)
JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF ABOUT EXACTLY HOW HUGE HE IS, HERE ARE MORE VIEWS OF HIM.
WHEN I FIRST SAW HIM, I COULD ONLY STARE AT FIRST. THEN HE NOTICED ME, AND BEGAN TO SPEAK TO ME.
THAT VOICE WAS... *SNIFF* THE MOST BEAUTIFUL I HAVE HEARD IN MY LIFE. AND HIS WORDS WERE SO HEALING...
IT WAS BETTER THAN TEA.
AMONGST OTHER THINGS (EXAMPLE: DISCUSSING MY RECENT ACTIONS, AND P.S. I HAVE NOW FULLY REPENTED!! :D), HE SPOKE TO ME ABOUT THE POWER OF RUBBER DUCKS, AND THEIR AWESOME ADAPTING ABILITIES.
HE SHOWED ME HIS TOP ASSISTANTS, THE NEONS.
ALSO TO ONE OF HIS INTERNS, THE SUPERFREAKSGEEKS.
HE EVEN SHOWED ME THIS DASHING YOUNG LADY.
HE ALSO INTRODUCED ME TO HIS WIFE, EMPRESS. (IT'S MORE REGAL THAN "PRINCESS".)
HIS FOLLOWERS? THEY'RE QUITE ZEALOUS. THERE'S EVEN A GROUP OF HOLY DANCERS THAT PERFORM AT DUCKMAS AND ALL OTHER IMPORTANT HOLIDAYS.
EVEN THE TURTLEDUCKS KNOW THEY ARE INFERIOR, AND BOW DOWN TO DUCKGOD.
SO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAVE CONVERTED TO ENGINEFIVER, AND HAVE BUILT A SHRINE IN BA SING SE AND THE FIRE NATION CAPITAL. NEW SHRINES COMING SOON TO THE WATER TRIBES, AIR TEMPLES, AND OTHER CITIES AND TOWNS NEAR YOU!
SO COME ONE, COME ALL! AND WORSHIP THE ONE THAT YOU KNOW IS OBVIOUSLY THE ONE, TRUE MOST DUCKLY ON HIGH!
SORRY, BFFTOPH. BUT YOUR RELIGION ALWAYS SEEMED TO BOGUS TO ME. AND NAKED IROH TIME JUST WASN'T... ENOUGH.
/IROH
YOU WAITED, YOU GOT IT. HAPPY? :P
WELL, I DO HAVE A LOT TO SAY AS TO RECENT EVENTS.
FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T WANT TO ON ACCOUNT OF THE INSULTS TO MY TEA BUT SINCE IT MAY BE "PREGNANCY AVERSIONS" AND I DID ACT RATHER INAPPROPRIATELY IN RESPONSE, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY AND ALL SCREAMING, YELLING, BENDING, AND GENERAL HARM I CAUSED BEFORE GETTING... BRAINED BY KANNA.
I ALSO AGAIN, DON'T WANT TO, BUT OUT OF COURTESY WILL APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF MY ATROCIOUS, DESPICAPLE, AND ONLY-DESCRIBABLE-AS-INSANE ACTIONS THAT I CAUSED DURING MY TEMPORARY, ER, ILLNESS. KANNA, I BLAME YOU FOR THAT. IF I EVER REGRETTED LOVING YOU BEFORE, I REALLY DO NOW.
BUT I DO HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS!
WHEN I FIRST WANDERED AWAY AFTER COMING BACK TO MY SENSES, I WAS DEPRESSED ABOUT MY REACTIONS AND ALL I'VE DONE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS THAT ARE FRANKLY REGRETTABLE. I KNEW THERE WOULDN'T REALLY BE A WAY TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF THAT. BUT I STILL HOPED FOR SOME FORM OF SALVATION.
AND IT CAME.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE FOUND THE ONE, TRUE GOD.
THIS IS THE GIANT RUBBER DUCK THAT IS THE ONE TRUE GOD. AS HE TOLD ME, HE IS USUALLY REFERRED TO AS "DUCKGOD" BY HIS FOLLOWERS, WHO HAVE NAMED THE ONE TRUE RELIGION WORSHIPPING HIM "ENGINEFIVER". (APPARENTLY THIS IS BECAUSE HE WISHES HE HAD AN ENGINE TO MOVE AROUND MORE EASILY, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY HE'S CURRENTLY SURROUNDED BY BOATS AS HE SEARCHES FOR AN APPROPRIATE VEHICLE, AND BECAUSE HE WISHES HE HAD FIVE TOES ON EACH FOOT INSTEAD OF THREE. HEAVEN KNOWS WHY HE WISHES FOR THESE THINGS, OR WHY HE CANNOT CHANGE THEM HIMSELF.)
JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF ABOUT EXACTLY HOW HUGE HE IS, HERE ARE MORE VIEWS OF HIM.
WHEN I FIRST SAW HIM, I COULD ONLY STARE AT FIRST. THEN HE NOTICED ME, AND BEGAN TO SPEAK TO ME.
THAT VOICE WAS... *SNIFF* THE MOST BEAUTIFUL I HAVE HEARD IN MY LIFE. AND HIS WORDS WERE SO HEALING...
IT WAS BETTER THAN TEA.
AMONGST OTHER THINGS (EXAMPLE: DISCUSSING MY RECENT ACTIONS, AND P.S. I HAVE NOW FULLY REPENTED!! :D), HE SPOKE TO ME ABOUT THE POWER OF RUBBER DUCKS, AND THEIR AWESOME ADAPTING ABILITIES.
HE SHOWED ME HIS TOP ASSISTANTS, THE NEONS.
ALSO TO ONE OF HIS INTERNS, THE SUPERFREAKSGEEKS.
HE EVEN SHOWED ME THIS DASHING YOUNG LADY.
HE ALSO INTRODUCED ME TO HIS WIFE, EMPRESS. (IT'S MORE REGAL THAN "PRINCESS".)
HIS FOLLOWERS? THEY'RE QUITE ZEALOUS. THERE'S EVEN A GROUP OF HOLY DANCERS THAT PERFORM AT DUCKMAS AND ALL OTHER IMPORTANT HOLIDAYS.
EVEN THE TURTLEDUCKS KNOW THEY ARE INFERIOR, AND BOW DOWN TO DUCKGOD.
SO LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAVE CONVERTED TO ENGINEFIVER, AND HAVE BUILT A SHRINE IN BA SING SE AND THE FIRE NATION CAPITAL. NEW SHRINES COMING SOON TO THE WATER TRIBES, AIR TEMPLES, AND OTHER CITIES AND TOWNS NEAR YOU!
SO COME ONE, COME ALL! AND WORSHIP THE ONE THAT YOU KNOW IS OBVIOUSLY THE ONE, TRUE MOST DUCKLY ON HIGH!
SORRY, BFFTOPH. BUT YOUR RELIGION ALWAYS SEEMED TO BOGUS TO ME. AND NAKED IROH TIME JUST WASN'T... ENOUGH.
/IROH
YOU WAITED, YOU GOT IT. HAPPY? :P