(no subject)
So, I didn't sleep at all last night. All I could think about was times I've spent with my Grandpa and how many laughs we've had at his expense. All his little mannerisms, his facial expressions... his smell. I know old men aren't meant to smell nice but somehow he always does and all he's ever used in his life is soap and water. I lay in my bed last night for about an hour just trying to remember where he took me for a coffee when he took me to the tax office. For some reason, I got really upset when I couldn't remember. I finally did though. That was some achievement having him take me for a coffee(I don't drink coffee) and I finally remembered we shared a flapjack with eachother. It probably seems really pathetic just remembering that but for some reason I need to try and remember everything right now.
We went to see him on Wednesday night and to say it was a shock is a major understatement. We'd been to see him on Monday and he was relatively good considering but on Wednesday he was awful and he's only getting worse. My mum was out there last night and my Granny has said that she doesn't want us to see him again but my brother and I both feel like we need to see him atleast one last time as on Wednesday it wasn't really a goodbye. My dad agrees with us that we need some sort of closure so we're going out to visit this afternoon to say our final goodbyes. My grandpa was told last night that he doesn't have long - we've known for a few days but he hadn't been told. I guess he'll know it's a final goodbye too. I can't stop crying right now but I know I need to find the strength from somewhere to see him, I know that he won't want to see me crying so I need to be strong... somehow.
I'm just totally numb right now, I can't imagine life without my Grandpa in it. It's no longer going to be going to see my granny and grandpa. It's just gonna be going to see my Granny.
On a brighter note, Lay me down rocks, I love it so much. Oh, and I got in to do nursing at uni.
I just thought - the funeral's going to be fun. My whole family hate eachother. Maybe I should record it and make a fortune.
We went to see him on Wednesday night and to say it was a shock is a major understatement. We'd been to see him on Monday and he was relatively good considering but on Wednesday he was awful and he's only getting worse. My mum was out there last night and my Granny has said that she doesn't want us to see him again but my brother and I both feel like we need to see him atleast one last time as on Wednesday it wasn't really a goodbye. My dad agrees with us that we need some sort of closure so we're going out to visit this afternoon to say our final goodbyes. My grandpa was told last night that he doesn't have long - we've known for a few days but he hadn't been told. I guess he'll know it's a final goodbye too. I can't stop crying right now but I know I need to find the strength from somewhere to see him, I know that he won't want to see me crying so I need to be strong... somehow.
I'm just totally numb right now, I can't imagine life without my Grandpa in it. It's no longer going to be going to see my granny and grandpa. It's just gonna be going to see my Granny.
On a brighter note, Lay me down rocks, I love it so much. Oh, and I got in to do nursing at uni.
I just thought - the funeral's going to be fun. My whole family hate eachother. Maybe I should record it and make a fortune.