Pullin an all nighter, and writin!
I'm just gunna write randomly here! I've gone through my old entries and realized I have some very insightful things to give through writing, so yeah! I like it!
Ever go through a bunch of old pictures, watching all the familiar faces and times once past? There's that immediate feeling of awe and happiness. For most people anyways. Then, if you really get into those pictures, maybe even kick it off and decide to rummage around old journal sites once posted on frequently over the years. Then the despair sets in, not a sad despair if you catch my drift, but that stitch in your stomach that no matter what you do, you'll never be able to get it out. What about crossing old loves, real strong loves, millions of memories loves? Ah, then just maybe that lock box, if i may, starts to open up slightly. Though you know, if it open's up, there's no backing out. You're going to be stuck with that feeling for a good long time, but we pursue it. It's mad we all know, but maybe in some sick sense, you want to feel that love again slightly, for the price of the equal and more pain that came from it! This lock box, however, is a very tricky thing. It can deceive you, almost picking up your soul and consciousness, and bringing it back however many years to whatever it is you loved; Home, Woman, Man, Family, you name it. If you can really get into it, you can relive moments, whichever ones you choose too! Though what happens immediately after? Your soul is ripped out, and jammed back into your current self. You realize that either you are happy now and that was nice, or you can realize that everything back then was better and there are so many times and places in which you could just warn yourself; don't do this, or don't think that way! We never can though, and our minds will only be limited to what's presented, though we can't see it, in the future. Then the lock box closes, done with it's dead. Who do you turn to? A friend, parents, maybe a new loved one? Or will you keep that lock box still hidden and never share with anyone the pain and happiness from the times once traversed? If you don't want to ruin what you have become, trust someone, have someone share what you're feeling. Someone will, you just need to find the right person, and you will know. If you don't have the right person, then find him/her! Relationships of any kind take time, work, and dedication. They don't just happen, friends just happen. It's when those friends want to be there more, a bigger place in your life. Maybe be kept inside that lock box of emotions, but hopefully this time when it opens up you'll be looking at that persons photos, with that person. That's a relationship no one can break if you wish it. Remember that pain is real, it doesn't stop or wait, and it's always in full effect and when you could probably just do without it! Think this though, this pain doesn't have to be indulged alone, there will always be someone if you make it so, you have to be willing to give, and have people give to you! That is the way to a peaceful relationship, and in turn a peaceful life in the long run! If only more people lived by it.
I would love to move someone with this entry, and that would be awesome, though I don't expect it, I don't even expect half the people to read this. I just need to at least feel like I said something, because I'm in that kind of mood and making realizations of what I've done wrong in that past in so many ways. You'd probably understand by my writing! Hah! If you did read this whole thing, I hope you enjoyed it!
Ever go through a bunch of old pictures, watching all the familiar faces and times once past? There's that immediate feeling of awe and happiness. For most people anyways. Then, if you really get into those pictures, maybe even kick it off and decide to rummage around old journal sites once posted on frequently over the years. Then the despair sets in, not a sad despair if you catch my drift, but that stitch in your stomach that no matter what you do, you'll never be able to get it out. What about crossing old loves, real strong loves, millions of memories loves? Ah, then just maybe that lock box, if i may, starts to open up slightly. Though you know, if it open's up, there's no backing out. You're going to be stuck with that feeling for a good long time, but we pursue it. It's mad we all know, but maybe in some sick sense, you want to feel that love again slightly, for the price of the equal and more pain that came from it! This lock box, however, is a very tricky thing. It can deceive you, almost picking up your soul and consciousness, and bringing it back however many years to whatever it is you loved; Home, Woman, Man, Family, you name it. If you can really get into it, you can relive moments, whichever ones you choose too! Though what happens immediately after? Your soul is ripped out, and jammed back into your current self. You realize that either you are happy now and that was nice, or you can realize that everything back then was better and there are so many times and places in which you could just warn yourself; don't do this, or don't think that way! We never can though, and our minds will only be limited to what's presented, though we can't see it, in the future. Then the lock box closes, done with it's dead. Who do you turn to? A friend, parents, maybe a new loved one? Or will you keep that lock box still hidden and never share with anyone the pain and happiness from the times once traversed? If you don't want to ruin what you have become, trust someone, have someone share what you're feeling. Someone will, you just need to find the right person, and you will know. If you don't have the right person, then find him/her! Relationships of any kind take time, work, and dedication. They don't just happen, friends just happen. It's when those friends want to be there more, a bigger place in your life. Maybe be kept inside that lock box of emotions, but hopefully this time when it opens up you'll be looking at that persons photos, with that person. That's a relationship no one can break if you wish it. Remember that pain is real, it doesn't stop or wait, and it's always in full effect and when you could probably just do without it! Think this though, this pain doesn't have to be indulged alone, there will always be someone if you make it so, you have to be willing to give, and have people give to you! That is the way to a peaceful relationship, and in turn a peaceful life in the long run! If only more people lived by it.
I would love to move someone with this entry, and that would be awesome, though I don't expect it, I don't even expect half the people to read this. I just need to at least feel like I said something, because I'm in that kind of mood and making realizations of what I've done wrong in that past in so many ways. You'd probably understand by my writing! Hah! If you did read this whole thing, I hope you enjoyed it!