Zero Hour Transmission
The headlights of an oncoming car traced along the top of the guardrail like it was truly being drawn by some unseen hand. Rainier stood in the mist above the highway as it always has, an early inkling of a clear summer day to come.
My head however, is still in that mist, and has been for a while now. I'm confused as hell--to be honest I don't even have any idea who I am right now. I've graduated from university and stand in a place that is very different than the place I was to stand at the end of university in my head. To start with, its two years late. I'm not going to teach; if you know me at all you know why. I haven't applied for grad yet. I'm just a kid with a BA. Whoop dee fucking doo.
My life has made me a very different person in the last couple years, and I'm not sure if I like her all the time. The last couple early mornings I haven't much, at all. I don't really want to exist right now, which makes it a rather good thing I've only ever held a real gun twice in my life.
I've been in Bellevue all week working on getting a job. I've got one, start Monday. This will be a good thing in my head after some sleep.
I've been an asshole. I've taken the path of least resistance and haven't seen anyone but two people.The little time I've had to just hang out has been good, I just need to be able to be in more than one place. Its not that I don't want to see everyone else, its that I've been in a bad place both mentally and physically. When I've actually had the mental fortitude for another hour drive, my allergies have been killing me.
I know I'm shit for excuses, and that it really doesn't cut it. I am sorry. I promise to call people, I just don't want to burden anyone with my fucked up head right now. I swear on all I'm worth that I'm not fencing people out. I love all of you, and miss every one like mad.
Love and happiness to all.
END TRANSMISSION
My head however, is still in that mist, and has been for a while now. I'm confused as hell--to be honest I don't even have any idea who I am right now. I've graduated from university and stand in a place that is very different than the place I was to stand at the end of university in my head. To start with, its two years late. I'm not going to teach; if you know me at all you know why. I haven't applied for grad yet. I'm just a kid with a BA. Whoop dee fucking doo.
My life has made me a very different person in the last couple years, and I'm not sure if I like her all the time. The last couple early mornings I haven't much, at all. I don't really want to exist right now, which makes it a rather good thing I've only ever held a real gun twice in my life.
I've been in Bellevue all week working on getting a job. I've got one, start Monday. This will be a good thing in my head after some sleep.
I've been an asshole. I've taken the path of least resistance and haven't seen anyone but two people.The little time I've had to just hang out has been good, I just need to be able to be in more than one place. Its not that I don't want to see everyone else, its that I've been in a bad place both mentally and physically. When I've actually had the mental fortitude for another hour drive, my allergies have been killing me.
I know I'm shit for excuses, and that it really doesn't cut it. I am sorry. I promise to call people, I just don't want to burden anyone with my fucked up head right now. I swear on all I'm worth that I'm not fencing people out. I love all of you, and miss every one like mad.
Love and happiness to all.
END TRANSMISSION