out of the corner of my eye caught a glimpse of the superspy

[midnighting]

WHO: midnighting and doubleoohbaby
WHERE: idk a Piggly Wiggly or something (do they have those in New York?)
WHEN: Wednesday afternoon/evening??
WARNINGS: It's James Bond and the Midnighter.
SUMMARY: Grocery shopping and the discovery of Same Face Syndrome.
FORMAT: Quick!

Comments

[doubleoohbaby]

[Shopping is pretty much James' worst chore. He pays people to do most of the other inane things in his life, or just doesn't do them, but when it's a case of having to go grocery shopping, or wake up in the morning with no coffee or milk, James knows what must be done.

Ugh.

There are bonuses to it though; people watching being his main love, and between cruising the aisles for random stuff he may need in the next month or so (anything to avoid coming back again any time soon), Bond has distracted himself with watching a quietly argumentative couple near the end of the shelving unit.

So distracted that he kind of misjudges his peripheral vision and half walks into half brushes past the stooped Midnighter, offering up a vague:]

Sorry. I-- [Oh.] Fuck!

[midnighting]

[Midnighter glances up sharply, and there's a split second where he has to do an embarrassingly obvious double take.

Then he remembers he knows this guy is here, the one with his face on the Network (even if he wasn't the easiest to find, because he doesn't seem big on video.) James Bond of all people. Midnighter has poked his nose into enough alternate universes with himself in them to not find it terribly weird to come face to face with doubles, but the fact that somewhere in the Multiverse, someone saw fit to give one of the most famous (infamous?) skirt-chasers ever his face was much better for a chuckle when he wasn't actually seeing the guy in person.

He sets down the pancake mix and stands up. Too bad in all that time snickering privately to himself he hadn't come up with anything to say in the event that this happened.] Fuck, really? [EH, GOOD ENOUGH.]

[doubleoohbaby]

[Welp, sounds like Midnighter is already at an unfair advantage, because James has no idea where this guy has popped up from.

The only other person Bond knows with his face is that dude who actually 'acted' as him or whatever but this isn't him. James knows that already. And if it's not himself, and it's not Daniel Craig, then...]

Who the fuck are you?

[He'll stop with the swearing in a second, once he's got over meeting his reflection in a local shop.]

[midnighting]

[To be fair, Midnighter would be at least equally bitchy if he hadn't seen this coming eventually, in some fashion.

He squints, debating giving the guy the runaround on his name, but in the end he doesn't really see the point.]

Midnighter.

[Nope, he doesn't even look properly ashamed to be giving out that ridiculous name. Instead he raises an eyebrow.] Gonna need a fucking minute?

[yeah he's never going to stop swearing.]

[doubleoohbaby]

No.

[James prefers not being lied to, because it just means more time spent finding the truth when lies pp up. He might appreciate it if he wasn't being totally awkward right now.

Still, at least he can blank out for a second as he lets the name Midnighter run through the memory banks of his mind.]

You're the-- oh, piss off, the Batman lookalike?

[midnighting]

[ugh

ugh

Well there goes their beautiful friendship. So flatly:] Get bent.

[He's just a teensy bit tired of that accusation.]

[doubleoohbaby]

[He almost feels bad for upsetting himself there. Almost.

Not himself.

But. Whatever. It's the whole face thing.]

Suppose it's better than spandex, at least.

[midnighting]

What, you're not a fan of the retarded bat ears? [He will never understand the point of those. Also, the man totally brings out all of his maturity, you can tell.

He shrugs, after a second.] Not the goddamn point, anyway.

[doubleoohbaby]

Not a fan of costumes. [He corrects with a roll of his eyes.

But yeah, rolling a shoulder, a vague mirror of the shrug-- ugh this is too weird.] What is the point?

[midnighting]

It's body armor if you're not a fucking asshole. [Man he would sleep in his costume if it was less restricting. His husband is the only one he'll excuse for wearing spandex, and that's because he's freaking invulnerable so what use does he have for Kevlar lined leather?]

You asked, didn't you? I assumed you had one. [beat] Too much credit?

[doubleoohbaby]

Far too much credit. [But at least he's honest.]

Is that uh-- your normal face?

[midnighting]

Well, it's not exactly a clever disguise, is it? [Beat. Right.] It's my "normal face." We going to have a problem?

[doubleoohbaby]

[Shapeshifters are something Bond can deal with (he's got some capabilities in that field himself), but face sharing? That's going to take some getting used to.]

Hmmmno. Might come in handy.

[midnighting]

[Midnighter pauses thoughtfully. He can see where it would be useful, especially since 007 isn't exactly supposed to be a slouch in combat situations.]

Sure. But I hope you don't think I'm going to do you any favors just because we have the same face.

[doubleoohbaby]

That's exactly what it means! You have to pay me back somehow if you plan to look like that.

[He'd fold his arms if he didn't have a basket in the way.]

[midnighting]

[Welp. Midnighter got a cart so he totally gets to fold his.] Bullshit. You're the one constantly walking around, showing my face without a mask; if anything you owe me.