"They're just teeth and digestive tract."

[more_surreal]

WHO: Calvin and OPEN
WHERE: Near one of the City's library branches
WHEN: Wednesday afternoon, after school
WARNINGS: Pigeon and rat-related horrors
SUMMARY: Calvin's trip to the library is interrupted by swarms of homicidal vermin. Someone save him.
FORMAT: Quicklog! Calvin will be getting into trouble repeatedly, so multiple threads of multiple

Comments

[outspeeds]

[ Sees Calvin! Sees him run! Bart matches his speed and runs alongside him. ]

Hey, you're that -- Um, don't think I caught your name.

[ Then he sees the rabid pigeons and rats that are hot on their tail. ]

But now's probably not a good time, huh?

[ Don't blink, Calvin! Did you blink? Because if you did, you'll find yourself in an alley five blocks from where you were previously. ]

[more_surreal]

I'm Cal-

[Suddenly, alley! Calvin turns around, dizzy and confused.]

-vin. Impulse? What the heck just happened? Did you save me?

[outspeeds]

Yep. [ He leans against the wall and peers over the edge as the rampaging birds and rats ... rampage past them. Then, after remembering a previous experience, his smile ... drops. ]

You're not mad, are you?

[ The last person he saved in these alleys chewed him out for it! Sigh, life. ]

[more_surreal]

Heck no! [A little embarrassed that he had to be saved, but it's better than being pigeon chow] Why would anyone be mad?

[outspeeds]

That's what I wanna know. The last person I saved here was, though!

[ His frown fades, though. ] So, Calvin, right?

[more_surreal]

Huh. Weird.

Yeah, that's me. By the way, we're not going to need that petition. Me and the grown-ups have come to an 'arrangement.'

[outspeeds]

Really? What kinda arrangement?

[more_surreal]

Um... a good one! [Quickly changing the subject so he doesn't have to admit he gave in] Hey, do you think you could take me to the library like you took me here?

[outspeeds]

How goo --

[ Subject changed! Good thing helping people is relevant to Bart's interests. (It'll probably come up later, though. Bart's a curious guy.) ]

'Course I could! [ He picks Calvin up and ZOOM! Now they're at the library. ]

What're you at the library for?

[more_surreal]

Whoah!

[More dizziness. Calvin stumbles, disoriented by the sudden transition between here and there.]

Uh... to get books! Obviously. What else would I be at the library for?

[outspeeds]

That's true. [ Since he's already here, maybe Bart should try reading more. ]

Do they have a comic book section?

[more_surreal]

They actually do! [Calvin has wasted a great deal of time there] That's how you know it's a really good library!

1/2

[outspeeds]

You can say that again. [ And he's about to go in, when . .

The library doors open to complete chaos! There are rats and pigeons everywhere, and they're chewing out all the books. Everyone's hiding under the tables. ]

[outspeeds]

Grife! Don't these things ever take a break?

[more_surreal]

[Calvin is aghast.]

AAAGH! Save the books! Save the books!

[And the people too BUT MAINLY THE BOOKS. Calvin completely forgets that he's supposed to be the one being protected here, and plunges into the fray, knocking aside rats and flying books away from their devourers. The cool books, at least.]

[outspeeds]

[ It looks like a few pigeons are diving right at Calvin! Bart immediately pulls him out of the way. ]

What gives? I just saved 'ya from those things, and you charged back in! Are books that important?

[ In Bart's world? Nope. People are, though -- he'll be thinking something up to help them sometime soon. ]