What Doth Life?
[The feed begins with a shot of the exterior of the Porter building and the soothing sound of flute music in the background. After several seconds of the music, Xavier appears before the camera, furiously scribbling into a notepad and speaking his thoughts aloud.]
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I'm not planning on camping over night. For I'm a rambler and a gambler, and I know which way this house of cards is going to fall. Snake eyes.
My task is a difficult one, but I won't rest until I avenge my father's murder. You see, twas long ago, when I was but a wee lad that my father, my own flesh and blood, was slain by the cruel hands of fate. But I'm hear to give fate a handjob and a taste of her own medicine.
[He looks up from his scribbling and sniffs the air. He turns to address his left hand, which happens to be a snake.]
Do you smell something? What?! Don't be ridiculous! You know I'm using cream for that!
[A pause as he scratches his head and looks around.]
No wait! That's the stench of loneliness and desperation! Well, it's a good thing I'm here. I happen to have a cure for that right down yonder. Now, I don't mean to tootle my own doodle...
[Xavier reaches under his loincloth…]
But I'm what you might call a master of the meat flutle. So, how 'bout we give this baby a blow.
[… and thankfully he pulls out his shakashuri flute.]
That's the problem with kids these days. No respect for their elders, no respect for the wise men amongst us. If you want to answer the age old question, "What doth life?" [the word "life" seems to echo] you must first learn to listen to the spirits around you. Without unconditional surrender to your spirit guide, you cannot truly become a man!
Now, relax your jowls and your bowels, and give in to the aural intrusion of my musical preclusion.
[And with that, he begins to play the shakashuri, thus casting a spell on anyone who wishes to participate in the Columbus Day Spirit Animal plot! Xavier will be available to talk, answer questions, and generally be bothersome throughout the weekend!]
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I'm not planning on camping over night. For I'm a rambler and a gambler, and I know which way this house of cards is going to fall. Snake eyes.
My task is a difficult one, but I won't rest until I avenge my father's murder. You see, twas long ago, when I was but a wee lad that my father, my own flesh and blood, was slain by the cruel hands of fate. But I'm hear to give fate a handjob and a taste of her own medicine.
[He looks up from his scribbling and sniffs the air. He turns to address his left hand, which happens to be a snake.]
Do you smell something? What?! Don't be ridiculous! You know I'm using cream for that!
[A pause as he scratches his head and looks around.]
No wait! That's the stench of loneliness and desperation! Well, it's a good thing I'm here. I happen to have a cure for that right down yonder. Now, I don't mean to tootle my own doodle...
[Xavier reaches under his loincloth…]
But I'm what you might call a master of the meat flutle. So, how 'bout we give this baby a blow.
[… and thankfully he pulls out his shakashuri flute.]
That's the problem with kids these days. No respect for their elders, no respect for the wise men amongst us. If you want to answer the age old question, "What doth life?" [the word "life" seems to echo] you must first learn to listen to the spirits around you. Without unconditional surrender to your spirit guide, you cannot truly become a man!
Now, relax your jowls and your bowels, and give in to the aural intrusion of my musical preclusion.
[And with that, he begins to play the shakashuri, thus casting a spell on anyone who wishes to participate in the Columbus Day Spirit Animal plot! Xavier will be available to talk, answer questions, and generally be bothersome throughout the weekend!]