dave: um what are you doing exactly [video]

[hardonic]

[the feed clicks on to... a roof. somewhere. a roof you may or may not recognize. (hint: mac building roof. holla!)

the camera pans back and forth briefly before studying the very... very... long drop between the building he's on and the building across the street before dave turns it back towards himself.]So is it just me or is this dump

Comments

[Video]

[hardonic]

[eyebrow-raise from behind his shades]

Chill, bro. If they bounce, I'mma stick 'em right back under your pillow where I found them. They're pro'lly like twenty percent plastic derivative, I think they've got a fighting chance.

[Video]

[hardonic]

[oh boohoo he's not going to die from sucrose overdose!! A SINGLE TEAR...]

Gushers everywhere will thank me. I am basically gusher Jesus. [...] 'Sides, you could call this a gusher intervention, dude. You're gonna turn into a blimp with 100% fake fruit concentrate slime filling if I don't take this bullet for you.

[Video]

[hardonic]

[OH YOU DICKBITE >(]

I am currently chillin' with the mile high club. To get up here you are gonna have to bend over and kiss my sweet g ass. [all said with the tone of... dude... where the hell do you think i am you asswipe??]

[action]

[hardonic]

[... sticks his hands in his pockets and stares at john.] Uh, sorry, you are definitely not at the optimal altitude for ass-kissing. Sublevel, dude.

[AWWWW YEEEEE!!]

[hardonic]

[ROLLS HIS EYES... holds up the box of gushers and points his first two fingers at it. clicks.] Cease and desist, Egbert, or the gushers get it.

[hardonic]

[he asks this question to himself a lot. it keeps him up at night.]

We're not even on a plane, dude. We are not going to fall from the sky in Nevada with half a dozen felons. This is stupid.

[hardonic]

... Are you trying to make me hock up your gushers out of pity? 'Cause I'mma put on a wimple and call myself Mother Teresa because that shit deserves some fucking charity. [...] 'Sides, it's not like you can dance, dumbass.

[hardonic]

[Dave is going to make sure his eyes hemorrhage out of his head first. Dave is not a masochist, you see.]

It's nerd cred, Egbert. If you can dance, you have to give up your pocket protectors and turn yourself in to Geek Precinct headquarters.