WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? MAKING LOTS OF MONEY!
WHAT IT IS, SOUL BROTHAHS AND SISTAHS?
This is Deadpool, your friendly neighborhood Soldier For Hire, reminding you that my vast experience in the fields of shooty-shooty, stabby-stabby and gooey kablooeys makes me your number one choice for all your Impending Civil War needs! Just like my bro-hem Weasel is making with the gun sales, the tawdry wares I'm sellin' are my services!
You need someone to hunt down stragglers and make them register their zappy-fingers as lethal weapons, give me a badge and set me loose! You need someone to skydive into LA-LA land and start collecting heads, I'm your headhunter! You need someone with a scarred up face to wear a Confederate soldier uniform and trot around the Wild West riding a horse with two gatling guns strapped to its sides? I'm a Hex of a guy for youze! You need someone to wear a stovepipe hat to take a bullet in the head while watching a production of CATS? You couldn't ask for a more willing victim!
So whether it's gun-totin', chump-smokin' or sucka-chokin' you require, for a reasonable price (plus expenses), I'll even bow and call you sire!
Sure, that rhyme was a stretch,
But I don't wanna hear you kvetch!
So who's got a li'l somethin' somethin' for a good soulja boy to go boom-boom all up on? And I'll offer a percentage to anybody who knows how to get me in touch with the president so I can make the same pitch. So act now, before I smack y'all with a ShamWow!
This is Deadpool, your friendly neighborhood Soldier For Hire, reminding you that my vast experience in the fields of shooty-shooty, stabby-stabby and gooey kablooeys makes me your number one choice for all your Impending Civil War needs! Just like my bro-hem Weasel is making with the gun sales, the tawdry wares I'm sellin' are my services!
You need someone to hunt down stragglers and make them register their zappy-fingers as lethal weapons, give me a badge and set me loose! You need someone to skydive into LA-LA land and start collecting heads, I'm your headhunter! You need someone with a scarred up face to wear a Confederate soldier uniform and trot around the Wild West riding a horse with two gatling guns strapped to its sides? I'm a Hex of a guy for youze! You need someone to wear a stovepipe hat to take a bullet in the head while watching a production of CATS? You couldn't ask for a more willing victim!
So whether it's gun-totin', chump-smokin' or sucka-chokin' you require, for a reasonable price (plus expenses), I'll even bow and call you sire!
Sure, that rhyme was a stretch,
But I don't wanna hear you kvetch!
So who's got a li'l somethin' somethin' for a good soulja boy to go boom-boom all up on? And I'll offer a percentage to anybody who knows how to get me in touch with the president so I can make the same pitch. So act now, before I smack y'all with a ShamWow!