(no subject)
you'd think that since I was the one who ended things, I wouldn't be hurting nearly as bad. I guess I shouldn't be looking for any sympathy. But it hurts SO bad. To have been in love and fallen out of love. To hurt someone I've loved so deeply for so long. There's nothing I can do about it now. Its done. You didn't tell me not to call you anymore. I'll try not to do it too often. I'm glad you're doing at least a little bit, just the slightest amount, better. I'm glad you went out last night and came away with a really funny story. You're such a funny person. I'll miss that so much. I couldn't eat dinner today, and i asked to leave the table really quickly. My mom knows I'm miserable, but I just told them both I felt sick.
I've been playing a bit of guitar lately. Jake and Tom want me to start a band with them, which sounds like a lot of fun. Jake bought a bass and he's really leading the whole project.
For posterity's sake, I'll just record the fact that I almost died of alcohol poisoning alone last night. Maybe I should have gone to the bar with my friends, but then I'd be poor and sick today instead of just sick. It was a pretty scary night.
I'm very unhappy. I guess I'm excited to go back to school... maybe i'll feel better when I see some of my friends and greg and stuff. Also, a couple more weeks will have passed, and hopefully i'll be a couple more weeks sane, and figured out, and healed. That would be nice. One good thing about being depressed and destroyed inside is that I'm saving a ton of money simply by being too anti-social to want to step out of the house. I didn't even have the motivation to put on underwear today. haha. just wonderful comfy pants. anyway, I'm planning on moving up to school on the 5th or so, so that i can start looking for jobs (ugh!).
alright. i guess that's about it for today.
I've been playing a bit of guitar lately. Jake and Tom want me to start a band with them, which sounds like a lot of fun. Jake bought a bass and he's really leading the whole project.
For posterity's sake, I'll just record the fact that I almost died of alcohol poisoning alone last night. Maybe I should have gone to the bar with my friends, but then I'd be poor and sick today instead of just sick. It was a pretty scary night.
I'm very unhappy. I guess I'm excited to go back to school... maybe i'll feel better when I see some of my friends and greg and stuff. Also, a couple more weeks will have passed, and hopefully i'll be a couple more weeks sane, and figured out, and healed. That would be nice. One good thing about being depressed and destroyed inside is that I'm saving a ton of money simply by being too anti-social to want to step out of the house. I didn't even have the motivation to put on underwear today. haha. just wonderful comfy pants. anyway, I'm planning on moving up to school on the 5th or so, so that i can start looking for jobs (ugh!).
alright. i guess that's about it for today.