"I'm destined for anything at all."
I am sweaty and tired as I type this, my last journal entry of my undergraduate college life. I think I've started off journals in the past saying something like, "life is getting crazier" and it still is, but today on may 9th,2009 I feel like I can truly say I have a clearer head on my shoulders than I've ever had. I feel like I've walked away from college with a profound sense that I've learned some lessons that will affect how I make decisions from here on out. In the four years I've been at LSU, since 2005, I have worried about alot of things; looking back, I feel like worrying about some of those things would be such a regression. I feel really good. I feel like I'm writing this with a sense of finality but I couldn't be farther from the truth (that is if I am alive for a while after this).
It's funny how you go back on old journals and you read what you were thinking and feeling a few years ago and compare that with what you are now. 90% of the time, I smile and remember fondly those good times and the other 10% I wish I could go back and tell myself that it'll be o.k. and give myself advice based on what I've been through that he hasn't yet. Ultimately, I learned from those experiences. For a while now, I've come to appreciate the full spectrum of the past. Painful at times but in retrospect I see God growing me through those times. and even though I come out of it with more questions than answers sometimes, I feel like as I grow they become more clear. My old slogan "Immaturity Rules" comes to mind. I used to shout it out like an anthem back in the old days. It was a catch all phrase that let my critics know that I was proud of being wacky. I was proud to be myself and march to the (sic) beat of my own (double bass) drum. I wonder now if my old mantra can survive with me getting older. (I'm 22 now. Wow.) Sounds like a paradox, but I see how my odd sense of self and humor can co-exist with hindsight and new knowledge. It feels good.
I feel calm now. Even though I haven't even remotely started looking for a job after this summer. I feel alright. Despite all of college's influences on me, I don't feel naive when I say that I feel like God's still got everything under control. He didn't go away when I met non-christian friends or stopped going to p-view youth or entered my first bar or witnessed my first cocaine snort (which was extremely sad to watch). He's still right here with me. Job plans or not.
Things I've learned in the past four years
1) When a horse dies, it is dead. To beat a dead horse is sort of pointless. I've learned some tried and true signs of what a dead horse looks like these past few years so I can distinguish it from an alive horse.
2)There's a really cool world outside Baton Rouge and I can move around in it.
3)Trusting God is underrated.
4) Metal and punk is great. There are other forms of music out there that are really good too.
(p.s. Metallica still rules)
5)You're cheating yourself if you think that hope is a naive concept.
6)True friends come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. They only come in one gender though.....just kidding.
7)Just because you haven't seen someone in a while, doesn't mean that they forgot about you and don't care about you anymore.
8) I knew this before but I know it even more now: Divorce sucks.
9) Worrying about being single is silly. Enjoy yourself. Don't rush. It'll be o.k.
10) If you think someone is cool (male or female) and you're afraid to talk to them, don't be. Some of my coolest friendships are the result of me taking a step.
I'll end with a poigniant quote from the classic film Billy Madison:
NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!!!
fin.love.
It's funny how you go back on old journals and you read what you were thinking and feeling a few years ago and compare that with what you are now. 90% of the time, I smile and remember fondly those good times and the other 10% I wish I could go back and tell myself that it'll be o.k. and give myself advice based on what I've been through that he hasn't yet. Ultimately, I learned from those experiences. For a while now, I've come to appreciate the full spectrum of the past. Painful at times but in retrospect I see God growing me through those times. and even though I come out of it with more questions than answers sometimes, I feel like as I grow they become more clear. My old slogan "Immaturity Rules" comes to mind. I used to shout it out like an anthem back in the old days. It was a catch all phrase that let my critics know that I was proud of being wacky. I was proud to be myself and march to the (sic) beat of my own (double bass) drum. I wonder now if my old mantra can survive with me getting older. (I'm 22 now. Wow.) Sounds like a paradox, but I see how my odd sense of self and humor can co-exist with hindsight and new knowledge. It feels good.
I feel calm now. Even though I haven't even remotely started looking for a job after this summer. I feel alright. Despite all of college's influences on me, I don't feel naive when I say that I feel like God's still got everything under control. He didn't go away when I met non-christian friends or stopped going to p-view youth or entered my first bar or witnessed my first cocaine snort (which was extremely sad to watch). He's still right here with me. Job plans or not.
Things I've learned in the past four years
1) When a horse dies, it is dead. To beat a dead horse is sort of pointless. I've learned some tried and true signs of what a dead horse looks like these past few years so I can distinguish it from an alive horse.
2)There's a really cool world outside Baton Rouge and I can move around in it.
3)Trusting God is underrated.
4) Metal and punk is great. There are other forms of music out there that are really good too.
(p.s. Metallica still rules)
5)You're cheating yourself if you think that hope is a naive concept.
6)True friends come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. They only come in one gender though.....just kidding.
7)Just because you haven't seen someone in a while, doesn't mean that they forgot about you and don't care about you anymore.
8) I knew this before but I know it even more now: Divorce sucks.
9) Worrying about being single is silly. Enjoy yourself. Don't rush. It'll be o.k.
10) If you think someone is cool (male or female) and you're afraid to talk to them, don't be. Some of my coolest friendships are the result of me taking a step.
I'll end with a poigniant quote from the classic film Billy Madison:
NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!!!
fin.love.