Comedy Culture
I did my first comedy show since September 28th last night. 15 minutes at The Cellar - nothing like jumping back in head first. And just so it wasn't easy or anything I did some completely new material.
I was super ridiculously nervous at first. It's been TWO weeks without a show. I don't know what's up with me lately but for some reason I just felt the need to zone out. I haven't done comedy, gone to comedy, talked to comedians (other than those who are friends who happen to be comedians). There's a real tension associated with this lifestyle. Whether people mean it to be there or not - there's a tense energy that fills that back room of any comedy club. Comedians are good people, for the most part, but every night you're throwing youself to the wolves. Every show you're exposing yourself with the potential for full-on rejection. It's like auditioning every time you take the stage - you're autidioning for an audience. That creates a weird vibe backstage. Every show someone is the weakest link. Every show someone is the rockstar. Every single show someone does "okay". Every show you want the rockstar to be you and the tanker to be... not you. And being the "okay" one is just "okay". And every single comic has been each of those things. And will be each of those things again. You just never know if tonight is your night to shine or sink. It's a lot of pressure.
Anyway I guess I just needed a break from all the enegery and, honestly, the scene. Like with any job you have to work with people that you don't like - and people who don't like you. Comedy isn't any different. This town is small and the comedy community isn't very big so I end up working clubs with some of these people (the ones I don't like and the ones who don't like me) up to 3 or 4 nights a week. Believe it or not I am not a hateful person. What I am is an upfront, honest and blunt person. The only way I don't like someone is if they do something to offend me or hurt me or just generally act like an asshat. And if I don't like you, I tell you. But there are a lot of people (some of them comics, because we are people too) who are 100% passive aggressive bullshit people. They can cloud the air with it - and even when it's a not directed at YOU, you feel it. All the stares, talking behind someone's back, cutting up people's act. FUCK THAT. It is a lot of work to not pick up on someone's bad vibes towards you - and a lot of work to not send them right back. I needed a break from that too.
But slowly but surely, I knew I had to get back in there. First off comedians I DO like and hang with when performing, started calling me. "Haven't seen you around..." and "When are you up next? Let's do a show together."
And honestly, this career isn't exactly a choice - it's some weird NEED. I have to do this. It's who I am.
Last night the energy was there - tense and somewhat icky. Everybody looking at the line up. Whose on? Who's going to be the weakest link? Who'll have the best set? Why does he get bullet? Blah Blah Blah. But there was the things I missed too. Like talking about new material with Russ and having punchline competitions with Carol and Ian. And Listening to Ivan obsess about his girlfriend and how she's sabotaging his career. LOL.
Anyway, then I hit the stage. After my first applause break (when the audiences laughter turns into clapping - LOVE THOSE! A Comic's dream!) something in me settled and I just grinned like a dork. I was in the zone.
It was great. One of my new jokes tanked - the one about TV, sadly - but I don't give a crap. I love it. I'm going to do it again. :) And again. And again. :) My new stuff about kids (or rather not having them) went over great. And the old stuff was good. Got a show tonight and another one Monday! I'm back. It's fabulous. God, I love comedy.
Oh and have a great show tonight s! ;)
