The Bricklayer
Australian bricklayer report. Possibly the funniest story in a long
while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in
the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure...
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information
in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On
the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new
six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some
bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them
in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of
the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I
weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained
the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I
continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my
right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this
time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to
the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the
weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent,
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry
to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope
this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in
the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure...
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information
in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On
the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new
six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some
bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them
in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the
building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of
the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I
weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained
the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I
continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my
right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this
time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to
the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the
weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent,
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry
to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope
this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,