Things I don't get
There are some things I don't understand. Things where I can clearly see that other people like them, and even get very excited over them, and I think they're completely useless. And I don't mean things where it is widely acknowledged that some people really like them and other don't, like romance novels or broccoli. I mean things that most people seem to take for granted that most people want.
Here are some examples:
1. Audiobooks. If I'm listening to somebody talk, I can't do anything else. Not if I want to follow the story. So listening to an audiobook is not really a substitute for reading it, nor is it a suitable background activity.
2. Engagement rings. You buy a very expensive ring. You wear it for a very short time while you're engaged. Then what? Keep it in a box? I realize some women keep wearing it, but that makes even less sense. Plus, well, rings in general feel weird on my fingers, and I keep playing with them, and after a couple hours they make my fingers hurt. Maybe expensive rings are magically more comfortable?
3. Wall to wall carpeting. It just collects dust.
4. A bowl with some round things in it on the coffee table. Why doesn't that get knocked to the floor six times a week when you actually want to use the coffee table?
5. Three books, one having the word "ART" in the title and another on wines, in a stack by size, with either a vase or a seashell on top. Either these are good, useful books that you read, in which case you should not be putting a vase on them because you might leave a water ring, or if you're never going to read them you should get rid of them, because there are never enough bookshelves in a well-ordered house.
6. TVs in the kitchen.
7. Eating space in the kitchen.
8. Why is it all the pasta dishes in restaurants are either chicken or shrimp? Why almost never steak?
9. Brown rice. Tastes like dirt.
10. People over the age of 16 who get all upset about swearing. The word is fuck, not "the f-bomb". Use it, motherfucker. Or don't.
11. People over the age of 12 who think that "EEEEEWWWW" is a sensible response to anything.
12. Short hair. OK, on some people it looks cute. But long hair generally looks better on everyone. Plus haircuts are ridiculously expensive.
13. Wine storage, wine fridges, wine in general. I'd rather have soda pop.
Here are some examples:
1. Audiobooks. If I'm listening to somebody talk, I can't do anything else. Not if I want to follow the story. So listening to an audiobook is not really a substitute for reading it, nor is it a suitable background activity.
2. Engagement rings. You buy a very expensive ring. You wear it for a very short time while you're engaged. Then what? Keep it in a box? I realize some women keep wearing it, but that makes even less sense. Plus, well, rings in general feel weird on my fingers, and I keep playing with them, and after a couple hours they make my fingers hurt. Maybe expensive rings are magically more comfortable?
3. Wall to wall carpeting. It just collects dust.
4. A bowl with some round things in it on the coffee table. Why doesn't that get knocked to the floor six times a week when you actually want to use the coffee table?
5. Three books, one having the word "ART" in the title and another on wines, in a stack by size, with either a vase or a seashell on top. Either these are good, useful books that you read, in which case you should not be putting a vase on them because you might leave a water ring, or if you're never going to read them you should get rid of them, because there are never enough bookshelves in a well-ordered house.
6. TVs in the kitchen.
7. Eating space in the kitchen.
8. Why is it all the pasta dishes in restaurants are either chicken or shrimp? Why almost never steak?
9. Brown rice. Tastes like dirt.
10. People over the age of 16 who get all upset about swearing. The word is fuck, not "the f-bomb". Use it, motherfucker. Or don't.
11. People over the age of 12 who think that "EEEEEWWWW" is a sensible response to anything.
12. Short hair. OK, on some people it looks cute. But long hair generally looks better on everyone. Plus haircuts are ridiculously expensive.
13. Wine storage, wine fridges, wine in general. I'd rather have soda pop.