(no subject)
I wouldn't actually expect to see this as a warning - I'm aware that you can't possibly predict for every single person's triggers even if you tried - but that said, I wish there had been a warning for assholes who lie and take advantage of people with memory loss. I always forget (haha, irony, I has it) that amnesia fic and stories dealing with memory loss can freak me right the hell out, because they can hit way, way, way too close to home.
I've been picking at this all night, so I hope it doesn't come out too fragmented.
Sometimes, I can't stand it when identity and memory are tied close enough together that the absence of one must question the existence of the other. (I want to yell, "Fuck you, I'm still a person, not something you can pick apart at your own leisure," because maybe they're not entirely off-base.) It's a popular theme and an interesting one, but I don't always feel like having my personality questioned.
It can also be uncomfortable watching characters struggle with gaps in their memory. I've been there! Owning up when other people are involved in a complicated morass of how much they know and how much energy you have to deal with them. Dealing with it for yourself is another thing too and often a frustrating one. So even though I can empathise, it can be hard to watch someone else struggle through it.
And watching characters be lied to by "allies", being ruthlessly taken advantage of because their own memories are lost (even if it is temporarily, if I know my fic tropes) is so upsetting that I've ranted at our four people tonight already and I'm still having trouble shaking it.
I don't think that my memory loss was ever so bad that I could have been in such thorough danger, but maybe it was, I can't remember. But but but but... well. Even now, with a complicated mess of emotional memory still existing where the visual is nothing but a giant gap, the possibility of someone lying to me and my not knowing it is real. So let's just say that watching someone be lied to about their very identity and place in the world, being completely cut off from everything they know (even if they no longer know it) with no choice, for someone else's selfish motives, provokes not a small gut reaction that makes me angry and upset and furious beyond the telling.
(It took me about 15 months to get more or less fluent again in English. Even longer before I stopped finding holes my ability to use the language and I've never stopped slipping back into French when I'm at my rope's end. / Sometime between the ages of 10 and 15, I told off someone in a casting room for calling my literally-concave stomach "fat" and on the way home, asked my mom for the doughnut my brothers and I always got after a go-see. The company called me three times with apologies and I refused to go back every time. / I never liked doing print ads; that's why I never did many of them.)
Also, I'm sorry I've been fairly absent the last week! I know that I have some important posts tabbed or tabbed and subsequently lost that haven't been getting my attention because I've been so busy and my spoon count has been low. I hope that you're all well, though, and you should share links to important things that I may have missed!
(Sidenote: If partial memory loss hits your entire organization and you can't find any of the files you want, especially the key files, then your records management system is so far beyond disorganized that I'm sort of curious to know how the network would have been functional in the first place.)
This entry was also posted at http://cantarina.dreamwidth.org/24056.html. (comments:
)
I've been picking at this all night, so I hope it doesn't come out too fragmented.
Sometimes, I can't stand it when identity and memory are tied close enough together that the absence of one must question the existence of the other. (I want to yell, "Fuck you, I'm still a person, not something you can pick apart at your own leisure," because maybe they're not entirely off-base.) It's a popular theme and an interesting one, but I don't always feel like having my personality questioned.
It can also be uncomfortable watching characters struggle with gaps in their memory. I've been there! Owning up when other people are involved in a complicated morass of how much they know and how much energy you have to deal with them. Dealing with it for yourself is another thing too and often a frustrating one. So even though I can empathise, it can be hard to watch someone else struggle through it.
And watching characters be lied to by "allies", being ruthlessly taken advantage of because their own memories are lost (even if it is temporarily, if I know my fic tropes) is so upsetting that I've ranted at our four people tonight already and I'm still having trouble shaking it.
I don't think that my memory loss was ever so bad that I could have been in such thorough danger, but maybe it was, I can't remember. But but but but... well. Even now, with a complicated mess of emotional memory still existing where the visual is nothing but a giant gap, the possibility of someone lying to me and my not knowing it is real. So let's just say that watching someone be lied to about their very identity and place in the world, being completely cut off from everything they know (even if they no longer know it) with no choice, for someone else's selfish motives, provokes not a small gut reaction that makes me angry and upset and furious beyond the telling.
(It took me about 15 months to get more or less fluent again in English. Even longer before I stopped finding holes my ability to use the language and I've never stopped slipping back into French when I'm at my rope's end. / Sometime between the ages of 10 and 15, I told off someone in a casting room for calling my literally-concave stomach "fat" and on the way home, asked my mom for the doughnut my brothers and I always got after a go-see. The company called me three times with apologies and I refused to go back every time. / I never liked doing print ads; that's why I never did many of them.)
Also, I'm sorry I've been fairly absent the last week! I know that I have some important posts tabbed or tabbed and subsequently lost that haven't been getting my attention because I've been so busy and my spoon count has been low. I hope that you're all well, though, and you should share links to important things that I may have missed!
(Sidenote: If partial memory loss hits your entire organization and you can't find any of the files you want, especially the key files, then your records management system is so far beyond disorganized that I'm sort of curious to know how the network would have been functional in the first place.)
This entry was also posted at http://cantarina.dreamwidth.org/24056.html. (comments:
)