I just got my first love letter
a love letter!! a bonafide honest to goodness love letter. hand penned from the other side of the world.
I've gotten poems before, sweet thoughful poem
i've gotten electronic letters before
but never a real love letter
and its so beautiful, such great imagery, such descriptive language.
so amazing in all its being that all i want to do is hold it close and sleep
words like "melancholy become you" and " promises to run away to europe, and children and sadness and joy so much joy. to be had. in the future. someday. if things worked out.
but everyone knows things dont usually work out. at least not for me. not in the way that involves europe and sexy professors with irish accents.
so its hard for me to take this at its value.. a declaration of undying love.
its easier for me to just laugh it off as someone is feeling lonely. or yeah, i have that effect on people.
i gotta say though, my heart feels so happy, so spoiled that i have received such beautiful words. even if i know i can never return them. not because i dont feel that way, but because my crazy, sarcastic, fucked up self will not allow me to feel that way. or even aknowledge that i can.
thing is, i dont even think i can see him again. because he's changed and i've changed and what we had once upon a time will no longer be the same. i'm afraid i'll feel forced and awkward. and it'll ruin everything that we had. the weirdness will superceed the amazing history and will just rewrite our history. i'd much rather let it be the most amazign thing that ever happened to me, than to just force it to continue and see it become less than what it was. because, as everyone knows happily ever after only occurs in fairy tales. and i'm not a princess, even if he is a mighty warrior.
I've gotten poems before, sweet thoughful poem
i've gotten electronic letters before
but never a real love letter
and its so beautiful, such great imagery, such descriptive language.
so amazing in all its being that all i want to do is hold it close and sleep
words like "melancholy become you" and " promises to run away to europe, and children and sadness and joy so much joy. to be had. in the future. someday. if things worked out.
but everyone knows things dont usually work out. at least not for me. not in the way that involves europe and sexy professors with irish accents.
so its hard for me to take this at its value.. a declaration of undying love.
its easier for me to just laugh it off as someone is feeling lonely. or yeah, i have that effect on people.
i gotta say though, my heart feels so happy, so spoiled that i have received such beautiful words. even if i know i can never return them. not because i dont feel that way, but because my crazy, sarcastic, fucked up self will not allow me to feel that way. or even aknowledge that i can.
thing is, i dont even think i can see him again. because he's changed and i've changed and what we had once upon a time will no longer be the same. i'm afraid i'll feel forced and awkward. and it'll ruin everything that we had. the weirdness will superceed the amazing history and will just rewrite our history. i'd much rather let it be the most amazign thing that ever happened to me, than to just force it to continue and see it become less than what it was. because, as everyone knows happily ever after only occurs in fairy tales. and i'm not a princess, even if he is a mighty warrior.