I think I'm one of the few smart asses in the world that can slam their own hands with a door while they're opening it. Trying to hold chopsticks when you can't move two of your fingers is a chore.
Ratings: Er, PG16? For half nekkidness.
Warnings: super-stalker!Phoenix and possible historical inaccuracies.
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Ahhh all the glaring mistakes, they hurt. D: )