We used to play our favorite songs until the first sign of a new day.
SO, first update in awhile and so much has happened I'd like to take note of in my life. Where do I even start?
Breast Cancer walk- Meghann, my best friend since I was 4 told me her mom, who has been like my OWN since I was 4, had breast cancer. With high spirits and sadness for someone we love so much, she had the great idea to get friends and family to walk the Komen walk in Detroit. I even got my grandma into it. I woke up at 5AM to a huge cup of coffee then headed to gma/Meg's. We got to Comerica, which was decorated in pink. All off Woodward was filled with pink balloons, signs, banners, ribbons, everything. After an hour or so of walking around the 95.5 station, McDonalds, Panera, etc. and getting free knick knacks we started the walk. What hit me the most was seeing people with shirts of a picture of their lost ones with "Walking in memory of..."over it. Sometimes I forget how deadly this cancer can be. It seems so simple: shrink it, take it out and you're good... but this was a huge reality check. It made me so thankful we still and WILL have Meghann's mom. She's not going anywhere and is so lucky. SO many people showed up and it was beautiful to see and be apart of. I felt I accomplished something and plan to do it every year.
But unfortunetly not everyone can defeat the battle of cancer... one of my best friends from high school recently told me her mother passed. I've met her several times, including when she was undergoing treatment and from what I remember, she was so lively, outgoing and sweet. What's saddest is that I can't believe this is happening to one of the best people I know. She's such a good person and doesn't deserve to lose anyone in her life, let alone her mother. I know she'll do fine though, as she's held it up together VERY well. I went to the funeral with tons of bagels for the family and was, luckily, surrounded by good/old friends (who i've missed). It wasn't until our friends speech when the tears came. It felt impossible to hold back, but I for sure wasn't alone. It was almost too hard to sit through. To sit and hear her pain... it gave me that... dry swallow a big pill and it's stuck in the middle of your throat, want to cry out like a baby and gasp for breath kind of thing. It was so hard to be strong for a moment. But i'd do anything for this girl and being there for her was more important than anything at that moment. Her brother talked about how random acts of paying it forward and kindness will always remind him his mother was till there. I thought: it's funny how funerals can bring your faith in the world back, even at an unsetteling time...
Later that day I found that faith. I lost a brand new wallet, with my debit card, balance of the card, gift card, gym card, license, etc. At first I wasn't worried, till it wasn't at Vyc's, where I was sure it was. I went to Rite Aid, the last place I knew I had it. At that moment I was starting to think it COULD be stolen, but tried to keep positive... so I did something I usually never do. I prayed. I told God I was putting all my faith in him that it would turn up and was stolen and I was SO sure I'd find it at the store. I continued over and over and over again letting God know I was giving all the faith in my heart to him. AND IT WASN'T THERE. It was then that I panicked and got really mad. I went back to Vyc's and was dialing my debit card place to tell them it had been stolen when my mom called me. "Lose something?" she asked. I was so confused 'cause I know it wasn't at home. Some woman found it and turned it into the police station! She didn't take, or even LOOK inside the zippers! And the fact that she went out of her way to take it to the police... it's so surprising that in a world that's gone so bad you'll still find honest, GOOD people. I'm unable to contact her, which pisses me off. I'd love to give her money, buy her lunch, SOMETHING so she knows her act of kindness isn't going unnoticed. She could've had a shopping spree but she chose to do the right thing. I can't believe it and I can't believe my faith brought me good fortune. I've never been super religious... but this is amazing. I am so thankful and greatful and hope to pay it forward in the same way.
So Micheal Jackson died. This, honestly, is a moment I never want to forget. A legend is gone and the world's response was OUTRAGEOUS and memorable. I'll never forget what I did the day MJ died because it was THAT displayed in the media. You couldn't, and still can't, do anything without seeing or hearing him. Every channel, every station, they're talking about MJ. It's CRAZY. And yes, he was a child molester. But I understand why some people are going as far as crying. With music, there's this connection... especially with someone as famous as him with hits coming out of his ass. You remember where you were the first time you heard a song, who you were kissing, who you just broke up/got dumped with... you turn to music when life is either bad or good and you create a connection with the artist as though they made it for you and for your mood. I just get it, and in that aspect I respect him and will always remember the loss of this legend.
In fact, I was just at my gma's, showing them my iPod. She goes "I like the old players better". Then I tried to remember when the last time she listened to music or cared to hear the latest of her favorite singer. I can't, she can't... and that scares me. I NEVER want to grow up or too old to where music is not a priority in my life. Where it's not the mood break or maker of my days. Where Blink 182's "Action" doesn't put a smile on my face remembering hanging out in the basement in 8th grade with all my best friends. Or Oceanlab's "Satellite" doesn't melt my heart thinking about times at the loft and the escaping feeling of just being there, listening to that song. Or even now, searching for new songs that will have the same effect. Getting old has been scaring the shit out of me lately. I want to live my life as much as I can. I only have this body, this lack of bills, these many friends, opportunities and TIME for so long. I never want to waste my days anymore... I'm gonna stay 18 forever.