Life
Things have sucked lately. I've gotten so down on myself for the way my life turned out. I should at some university, making friends, memories and new experiences for myself. But I'm stuck in the same place, with the stresses of work and home and the only people I have to go to are Carissa, who has her own problems and doesn't deserve me throwing my own at her, and Vyc, who I always seem to take it out on and create a fight with over my pent up anger. That's it: Carissa and Vyc. Wow. Two friends. Pathetic. It makes transitioning from high school to college so hard. High school was safe, comfortable, easy, HOME. I was friends with all types of crowds, EVERYONE, and always had something to do. Now it's work, school, one night with Carissa to watch OTH, movie and sleepover at Vyc's and that's it! That's my life. I'm 18 and THAT is what I do every week. It's never exciting, there's never a reason to be happy to wake up, it's dull, plain, meaningless.
Until recently. I pushed everyone and everything away. Friends, family, Vyc, softball, everything because I was so unhappy. And I mean REALLY pushed away. Haven't talked to my best friend in weeks, didn't care what happend to Vyc and I and kept yelling at my mom when she'd talk to me. After having the billionth fight with Vyc about my constant attitude he let me let everything out and just cry, knowing I've botteled so much up. After that night he has been SO amazing. WE'VE been amazing. I mean, i've never been so happy in a relationship and I know I am the luckiest girl in the world to have this boy. He is so selfless, he puts me first and it's insane to me! I don't even do that for him! It's amazing. It's so hard for me to say sorry but he does it constantly AND puts up with me. I could go on and on and on, but I'm just going to leave it at that.
ANYWAYS. He assured me things would change and he'd help me get back on track and he's kept to that promise, which is even more amazing.
This weekend we...
-Went to St. Mary's fair where I finally could go in the casino tent! Vyc taught me how to play craps, which I am now in love with and I wont like 14 bucks. He won me this BIG huskey stuffed animal :] What a gentleman. And I won him a stupid little Panda one. I won a fish! But the bag was broke, water fell and it was pretty much a fish in a bag which had me so depressed that the little guy would die so I gave it back.
-Next day was DEMF!!!! We met up Tony, listened to Seoul, who is not only a great DJ but a friend of Vyc's who rolled through Frost. (I know, I know, I'm bragging lol) I don't think it was as good this year but it was till fun. The best was Benny Benassi. He has so much energy and truley loves what he does. I see that in Vyc which makes me KNOW he's going to be on those stages some day. I love that he's brought me into his life and has introduced me to new things. I seriously listened to the music, felt the beat and looked up at the night's sky feeling so alive. It's amazing that something as simple as pieced together noises can do so much. And then there were those moments where, as Vyc said, were just me and him. When all these things were surrounding us: lights, music, people, but I could stand there with the boy I love in the middle of it all and kiss him. Like the world was ours or something. I love that he can take me to a place like that. And I don't mean to sound tripy or just speaking of DEMF, but emotionally. It was so romantic.
We went to Pizza Papalis and sat on the footsteps of the loft, walking the same walk we always did a year ago this time. I miss it so much. I've talked so much about how those were some of my greatest memories. But I know there will be even better to come.
I was happy to end the night sleeping next to the love of my life after an amazing weekend. I'm so much more confident with our relationship and I know this is someone I don't want to can't lose.
TODAY
I got to hang out with Jared, which, really I haven't done much of (as usual). I FINALLY went to Hookah Joe's and we tried some strawberry banana. It was really good talking with him, I feel we so rarely do. It's always quick or surrounding other people but today it was just my bestie, me, hookah and some good conversation.
Until recently. I pushed everyone and everything away. Friends, family, Vyc, softball, everything because I was so unhappy. And I mean REALLY pushed away. Haven't talked to my best friend in weeks, didn't care what happend to Vyc and I and kept yelling at my mom when she'd talk to me. After having the billionth fight with Vyc about my constant attitude he let me let everything out and just cry, knowing I've botteled so much up. After that night he has been SO amazing. WE'VE been amazing. I mean, i've never been so happy in a relationship and I know I am the luckiest girl in the world to have this boy. He is so selfless, he puts me first and it's insane to me! I don't even do that for him! It's amazing. It's so hard for me to say sorry but he does it constantly AND puts up with me. I could go on and on and on, but I'm just going to leave it at that.
ANYWAYS. He assured me things would change and he'd help me get back on track and he's kept to that promise, which is even more amazing.
This weekend we...
-Went to St. Mary's fair where I finally could go in the casino tent! Vyc taught me how to play craps, which I am now in love with and I wont like 14 bucks. He won me this BIG huskey stuffed animal :] What a gentleman. And I won him a stupid little Panda one. I won a fish! But the bag was broke, water fell and it was pretty much a fish in a bag which had me so depressed that the little guy would die so I gave it back.
-Next day was DEMF!!!! We met up Tony, listened to Seoul, who is not only a great DJ but a friend of Vyc's who rolled through Frost. (I know, I know, I'm bragging lol) I don't think it was as good this year but it was till fun. The best was Benny Benassi. He has so much energy and truley loves what he does. I see that in Vyc which makes me KNOW he's going to be on those stages some day. I love that he's brought me into his life and has introduced me to new things. I seriously listened to the music, felt the beat and looked up at the night's sky feeling so alive. It's amazing that something as simple as pieced together noises can do so much. And then there were those moments where, as Vyc said, were just me and him. When all these things were surrounding us: lights, music, people, but I could stand there with the boy I love in the middle of it all and kiss him. Like the world was ours or something. I love that he can take me to a place like that. And I don't mean to sound tripy or just speaking of DEMF, but emotionally. It was so romantic.
We went to Pizza Papalis and sat on the footsteps of the loft, walking the same walk we always did a year ago this time. I miss it so much. I've talked so much about how those were some of my greatest memories. But I know there will be even better to come.
I was happy to end the night sleeping next to the love of my life after an amazing weekend. I'm so much more confident with our relationship and I know this is someone I don't want to can't lose.
TODAY
I got to hang out with Jared, which, really I haven't done much of (as usual). I FINALLY went to Hookah Joe's and we tried some strawberry banana. It was really good talking with him, I feel we so rarely do. It's always quick or surrounding other people but today it was just my bestie, me, hookah and some good conversation.