Apr 04, 2004 01:32
well hey there everyone,
how the f*ck have u all been, i'm assuming that if anyone even reads this it won't be until a week or so after its creation. in part due to the fact that i've not been on this damn thing in like 6 months. i was just thinking today, my birthday, my 19th birthday is just a cpl weeks away and here i am, far away from everything i kno. i don't know how this birthday is gonna be...first off, its on a tuesday (and i'm sure everyone loves tuesdays as much as i do). i can see it now..i'll have to get my ass up at 6 f*cking 30 for my bitchass job... i'll go eat breakfast w/ margaret, just like i have every tuesday and thursday for the last 4 months..we'll talk, idk if she'll know its my birthday, idk if i'll tell her. i'll be at work, bored, probably watch some of the history channel, play some pool, fall asleep in front of the damn register, and think. i do this a lot at work, cuz no one comes to talk to me, and most normal ppl on earth don't have a nagging desire to play billiards at 9 in the morning. i'll wonder what my friends are doing..orlando, ft. myers, gainesville, i'll close my eyes and think to myself about any "what ifs" i might have on my mind. i doubt i'll tell anyone at work about my birthday. i'm sure mom n dad will call me at 12:27 am the night before as well. i think i'll like that, it'll be nice to know someone's thinkin about me. i'll be wondering if i'll be able to make it to orlando for earthday birthday, and if i do, who the f*ck i'll be going with. i'll be done w/ my shift. i'll leave most likely having covertly avoided a dozen falsified birthday wishes from my UC co-workers, and my slighty over-bearing managers. i'll walk out to class, most likely sportin khaki shorts, a basic t-shirt..hanes maybe? and my ray-ban's, and probably my ponies..which i've noticed have become tragically worn...still white, but worn. anyways i'll be walking, thinking...wonderin if i'll see that girl..the gorgeous one w/ the long black hair, (right now i'm wondering if i'll have the balls to go talk to her before then). i'll be wondering if any of the "people" in my engineering lecture class will say anything about my birthday. most of the ppl i'm talking about live on my floor. so far, for all the other guys birthdays they've had little parties, bought stupid little gifts...whatever..if i hear a happy birthday from anyone other than charles i'll be surprised. i mean i bet he'll tell eric who will probably tell peter and robby. peter might mention it to nancy, so i might get about 5 or 6 fake ass monotone "happy birthday joe"s. either way, i'll get into class..settle into my back of the room seat, maybe next to josh and some wierd fucker who smells, shift and resituate myself, and probably be out within the first 15 minutes of dr. ram's paki-babble. after sleeping thru my hour and 15 minute lecture, i'll wake up, grab my shit, waddle down the steps and out of the classroom..down the hall..out the doors into the bright light, slightly waking me up..i'll turn into the main engineering wing..walk upstairs to the civil, architectural, and environmental department, and rush thru a boring f*cking math lab. i'll leave walk back alone, and the rest of the day will be filled w/ physics tutoring, homework, physics homework, maybe a paper, who the f*ck knows
...................................idk.......................................
so anyways...i talked to michele the other night, for about 3 hours. it was the first time we'd spoken in about a year. i couldn't believe it, i was so damn nervous. i cannot believe how much that girl has changed. it really is shocking to me. she's apparently with this guy who has completely changed her for the better..brought her closer to God and all this other shit. idk what to make of it, i felt like she was talking to me like an injured fucking puppy or some stupid shit like that..u know what?? i don't feel like writing any more....
fuck it..