(no subject)
I can't sleep because I am afraid I will pee the bed.
I'm totally serious.
The other night we went to see the Ring, right? No, it wasn't that scary at all. The thing is, before the movie we went for coffee. I had a LOT of coffee. The waitress never takes me for real when I wave her away and say, "Nah, I've had enough." She just fills the damn cup up again, like she is doing me a favor. Thank goodness she isn't a bartender, right?
Anyway, we were watching the movie, and about ten minutes into it I had to pee. But I didn't want to miss anything important, so I waited. And I waited, and I waited, and I waited. See, since I had never seen this movie before, I didn't know when a slow, unimportant part was coming until it was already over. I kept leaning over to James and whispering, "I really have to pee!" Of course he would respond with, "Well, go pee!"
I held it and held it, waiting for the right time. Then I realized we were at the end of the movie, and I couldn't hold it anymore. Right when that creepy little girl came crawling out of the t.v. set, I bolted up out of my seat and ran to the bathroom. By the time I got back the movie was OVER. There really wasn't that much movie left, but I also had to pee a lot, so it could have been a good ten minutes of footage.
The thing is, every time I have slept since then, I've had some crazy dream where I am sitting on a toilet, urinating. I'm sure we can all remember back to the day when our bladders were weak and the hallway was dark and the tile floor was cold and our underoos were brand new--a dream of peeing on the toilet meant you were actually peeing in your bed.
I haven't actually peed the bed in any of my dreams this week, but how strong is my bladder after the abuse I administered while holding through most of the Ring? Do I dare push its limits yet again?
In one of my dreams, I was peeing in a high school bathroom without a shirt or bra on. Oh, let me back up for a second. See, I was in the boys locker room, getting felt up by this young jock. I had taken off my shirt to make it easier for him... and then when things were getting really hot and heavy (dry humping), I had to pee really bad and just bolted. Anyway, after I relieved myself, I recall thinking how glad I was to have made it to the toilet in time. And as I walked out of the stall, two elderly women (who I can only assume were "lunch ladies"), walked in and screeched, "Young lady, where is your shirt?!?" I was mortified. Just like I would be if James and I wake up in a puddle of my urine tomorrow morning.
I guess I am going to refrain from drinking any liquids for the next hour, go to the bathroom a few times, and get out the spare mattress.
I'm totally serious.
The other night we went to see the Ring, right? No, it wasn't that scary at all. The thing is, before the movie we went for coffee. I had a LOT of coffee. The waitress never takes me for real when I wave her away and say, "Nah, I've had enough." She just fills the damn cup up again, like she is doing me a favor. Thank goodness she isn't a bartender, right?
Anyway, we were watching the movie, and about ten minutes into it I had to pee. But I didn't want to miss anything important, so I waited. And I waited, and I waited, and I waited. See, since I had never seen this movie before, I didn't know when a slow, unimportant part was coming until it was already over. I kept leaning over to James and whispering, "I really have to pee!" Of course he would respond with, "Well, go pee!"
I held it and held it, waiting for the right time. Then I realized we were at the end of the movie, and I couldn't hold it anymore. Right when that creepy little girl came crawling out of the t.v. set, I bolted up out of my seat and ran to the bathroom. By the time I got back the movie was OVER. There really wasn't that much movie left, but I also had to pee a lot, so it could have been a good ten minutes of footage.
The thing is, every time I have slept since then, I've had some crazy dream where I am sitting on a toilet, urinating. I'm sure we can all remember back to the day when our bladders were weak and the hallway was dark and the tile floor was cold and our underoos were brand new--a dream of peeing on the toilet meant you were actually peeing in your bed.
I haven't actually peed the bed in any of my dreams this week, but how strong is my bladder after the abuse I administered while holding through most of the Ring? Do I dare push its limits yet again?
In one of my dreams, I was peeing in a high school bathroom without a shirt or bra on. Oh, let me back up for a second. See, I was in the boys locker room, getting felt up by this young jock. I had taken off my shirt to make it easier for him... and then when things were getting really hot and heavy (dry humping), I had to pee really bad and just bolted. Anyway, after I relieved myself, I recall thinking how glad I was to have made it to the toilet in time. And as I walked out of the stall, two elderly women (who I can only assume were "lunch ladies"), walked in and screeched, "Young lady, where is your shirt?!?" I was mortified. Just like I would be if James and I wake up in a puddle of my urine tomorrow morning.
I guess I am going to refrain from drinking any liquids for the next hour, go to the bathroom a few times, and get out the spare mattress.