(no subject)
I know you're probably tired of hearing about Shaun.
But, my heart hurts a lot.
I said I was giving up, but it's easier said than done.
.....I genuinely care about him.
And I hate it.
I just got off the phone with him.
And on one hand, I love that he makes me feel beautiful and special and brilliant... I love that he's honest.
On the other hand, I hate when he's honest about her.
I hate when he says things like "I just need to stop talking to her, stop being her friend, forget she exists."
I hate when I reply "Honey, she's always going to be in your life, whether you like it or not. I'm still best friends with my ex."
I hate that he says, "I just need to get over her. I need to know that I'll be okay being exclusive with you before I make a decision.....I hate when she says likes like 'you're being hasty jumping into something else' or 'it'll be better this time around' or tells me how much she wants to be with me....It's your executive decision to wait for me or not. I can't tell you what to do."
And stupid me replies, "If I didn't want to wait for you, do you think I'd still be here?"
I just..... my heart hurts.
I wish he would just tell me what to do- what to expect....
Because as pathetic as it sounds, it's not like I have a thousand prospective guys on the horizon, just waiting to date me.
I mean, what am I waiting for, really?
I dunno.
I hate to think I'm one of those girls....
You know the kind- the kind that can't live without a man telling her what she's worth; the kind that can't live without a relationship.
I hate to think I need a relationship.
But I do....
I miss being someone's girlfriend.
I miss that companionship.
which is obviously, why I need a puppy. ;)
John Mayer's Love Song For No One.... is like, my stupid life anthem
"i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here"
And Phillipians 4:6-7 says: Don't not be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I've been neglecting my faith lately....
Maybe that's why I'm so needy.
I dunno.
Pray for me.
I need it to get through this semester.
Also pray for Lindenwood- there was a murder on campus today.
Scary! Pray for the SAI sisters and PMA brothers there-- that they'll be safe.
I love you guys. <3
But, my heart hurts a lot.
I said I was giving up, but it's easier said than done.
.....I genuinely care about him.
And I hate it.
I just got off the phone with him.
And on one hand, I love that he makes me feel beautiful and special and brilliant... I love that he's honest.
On the other hand, I hate when he's honest about her.
I hate when he says things like "I just need to stop talking to her, stop being her friend, forget she exists."
I hate when I reply "Honey, she's always going to be in your life, whether you like it or not. I'm still best friends with my ex."
I hate that he says, "I just need to get over her. I need to know that I'll be okay being exclusive with you before I make a decision.....I hate when she says likes like 'you're being hasty jumping into something else' or 'it'll be better this time around' or tells me how much she wants to be with me....It's your executive decision to wait for me or not. I can't tell you what to do."
And stupid me replies, "If I didn't want to wait for you, do you think I'd still be here?"
I just..... my heart hurts.
I wish he would just tell me what to do- what to expect....
Because as pathetic as it sounds, it's not like I have a thousand prospective guys on the horizon, just waiting to date me.
I mean, what am I waiting for, really?
I dunno.
I hate to think I'm one of those girls....
You know the kind- the kind that can't live without a man telling her what she's worth; the kind that can't live without a relationship.
I hate to think I need a relationship.
But I do....
I miss being someone's girlfriend.
I miss that companionship.
which is obviously, why I need a puppy. ;)
John Mayer's Love Song For No One.... is like, my stupid life anthem
"i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here"
And Phillipians 4:6-7 says: Don't not be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I've been neglecting my faith lately....
Maybe that's why I'm so needy.
I dunno.
Pray for me.
I need it to get through this semester.
Also pray for Lindenwood- there was a murder on campus today.
Scary! Pray for the SAI sisters and PMA brothers there-- that they'll be safe.
I love you guys. <3