The Apartment: Building Up (Fanfic100)
Title: The Apartment: Building Up
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Heiji/Kazuha (General series)
Prompt: #14-green
Word Count: 7922 words
Rating: R (for sexuality)
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Heiji mentioned that he missed waking up next to her…
Overall, Heiji was a relatively happy person; he really had a lot going for him. He came from a good family (even though he and his father did still manage to get into regular shouting matches over various things). He had great friends. He had a reputation as being the best detective in Osaka and as such made a fairly tidy living. He had a nice home to come back to at the end of the day.
And he had his special someone. Life was wonderful. He truly couldn’t complain.
But lately, certain things had been gnawing at his brain regarding his special someone.
Oh, he had tried to ignore those niggling little thoughts. But they refused to be brushed aside, and so renewed their relentless assault on his consciousness. As days went bye, he found himself thinking certain thoughts more and more often, often with a much greater intensity than he was personally comfortable with.
Even murders couldn’t distract him from those ideas. Such was the case when he came home one afternoon from a case, still thinking about Certain Things…and there she was, just sitting on the kitchen counter…finishing off an ice cream cone, of all things.
“Welcome back!” Kazuha cheered as he came in.
“Hey…” he walked over and just watched her. He swallowed hard as she lapped up the last traces of vanilla and then bite into the sugary brown cone. It didn’t take her long to finish.
She had gotten to the very last bite before she realized that she had an audience. When she looked up at him, she had the very end of the round ice cream cone sticking out of her mouth. “Hmm?” she murmured around it, giving him a wide-eyed, questioning look.
Added to the fact that she was still in pajamas that were three sizes too large for her, and it all added up to being so adorable that Heiji could barely stand it. It didn’t help any that she was wearing pajamas, period-his brain started making some rather questionable suggestions, heedless of the fact that acting on any of those suggestions would undoubtedly get him killed, revived, and killed again. But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking them.
From thinking that they had been together for quite a while.
From remembering a certain morning…
Before he realized what he was doing, he had crossed the kitchen and put his hands on the counter, one on either side of her. And he leaned in and kissed her a lot more fiercely than he usually did. He could taste the vanilla on her lips and tongue. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. It was all enough to leave them both breathless.
When he pulled away, she stared at him for a moment. “Wow…what brought that on?”
He cleared his throat. Maybe there was a way to put this that would at least get it out into the open and not result in him kissing a few of his limbs goodbye. “I’ve been thinking lately…” he began slowly. “Remember when you first came back to Japan? That very first morning?”
“Yes…” she said softly.
“Well…I sort of miss that feeling,” he said. “I mean-that morning when I woke up and you were there next to me? That was awesome. I liked that.” It wasn’t exactly what he was trying to say, but it was close. Sort of.
Kazuha blinked owlishly at him. “You…miss that?”
“…yeah. I do.”
She looked bewildered. “Waking up next to me?”
“…yes,” he fidgeted uncomfortably.
“I see…” Kazuha now looked thoughtful, and he wondered if she’d guessed what he was really trying to say. She certainly wasn’t stupid, and he definitely wasn’t being a very good ninja about this.
It was then that he realized he still had her trapped against the counter, one of his hands on either side of her. He was sorely tempted to kiss her again, but given the awkward conversation that had just taken place, he decided against it. Instead, he pushed away from the counter and took a couple of steps backwards, away from her. “Sorry…” he murmured before making a hasty exit to the safety of his own bedroom.
Kazuha was left sitting on the counter. And she was thinking…
-o-
Three hours later, Heiji was preparing for bed. He was also still kicking himself for saying anything. She probably thought he was a complete moron now-granted, she might very well have thought that before, but now he had confirmed it. And he hadn’t even actually managed to say what was on his mind.
He had ventured out of his room in search of something to eat, and found Kazuha was not in sight. Judging by the fact that her bedroom door was closed, he assumed she was in there and not eager for company. He took this as a sure sign that he had damaged things somehow.
He sighed and grabbed the oversized T-shirt he was using as the top half of his pajamas. Yanking it over his head, he decided to try and stop thinking about it. Things would hopefully be back to some sort of normalcy by the next morning. Kazuha could have quite a temper, but usually she didn’t hold onto grudges or anything like that for too long. Breakfast would tell.
The bed was already turned down, and he flopped down onto it without even bothering to crawl under the blankets. Between the murder case and making a complete ass of himself in front of Kazuha, he was worn out. But just as he was about to turn off the lights and officially go to bed, there was a knock on his bedroom door.
Well, there was only one person that could be. “Come in!” he called.
Sure enough, it was Kazuha. She was still wearing her pajamas and carrying…a pillow? “Hi!” she said cheerfully.
“What are you doing?” he watched in confusion as she crossed the room and hopped onto the bed.
“Well, you said that you missed waking up next to me. So since you can’t seem to bear being away from me even long enough to sleep,” she teased, grinning at the fact that he turned slightly pink, “I decided to come in here.” She tossed one of the pillows from his bed and replaced it with her own.
He stared as she arranged her pillow and the blankets and crawled into bed, pulling the sheets up around her. “I…err…what?” Heiji stammered. She had to be joking. There was no way she was serious…
“It’s a slumber party!” she cheered, scooting down to lay under the blankets. It was only then that she seemed to notice his scrutiny. “What? Is something wrong?”
“No! Nothing!” Heiji quickly clamped himself back under control. “I mean…if you want to sleep in here, that’s fine with me.” It was pretty clear that she wasn’t actually thinking of doing anything; she was completely serious and honest when she said that they were going to have a slumber party and she was going to sleep in here.
Though he had to admit that Kazuha sleeping in his bed was amazing under any circumstances. Well…except possibly for the ones that had brought her home. But that was a special case by definition. But the point was that she was currently curled up in his bed with the intention of sleeping there.
With him.
In a completely innocent manner, of course.
But still…it made his head spin and his heart race.
“Are you ready for bed?” she asked cheerfully.
“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he replied, pulling the blanket up around him.
Kazuha reached over and turned off the light; that done, she leaned sideways to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Well, g’night!” she said. She snuggled down under the blankets, sighed…and relaxed as she prepared to let herself nod off for the night.
Heiji sat up in bed and stared at her through the darkness long after she had dozed off.
-o-
The next morning was surprisingly and pleasantly free of awkwardness.
Well, from Kazuha’s side of things, anyway.
She didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that she had just spent the night in Heiji’s bed-though it had been clothed and without any real physical contact. Heiji had spent a good while lying awake, glancing over at her sleeping form. He had not touched her. But he could not shake the image and feeling.
Kazuha had slept in his bed.
There was no emotional duress or special circumstances. And the choice had been hers completely.
She had just walked in and done it.
And trying to figure it out was killing Heiji.
She was bouncing around cheerfully, though somehow she managed to not spread a path of toast crumbs in her wake. That in and of itself seemed borderline miraculous as far as Heiji was concerned. But her attitude…it wasn’t that he wanted things to be awkward, but it seemed like things should be.
“So what’re you doing today?” she asked cheerfully.
He shook himself and managed a reply. “Oh…I’m going down to the precinct. Had that case the other day. They need me to come in and answer a couple of questions and fill out some paperwork. Pretty standard stuff. Also pretty boring stuff, but eh, comes with the territory.”
“Aww,” she pouted a little. “Is it going to take long?”
“Probably just a couple of hours,” he said with a shrug.
“…we should get lunch,” she cheered. “Go out for a little bit this afternoon.”
Heiji stared at her.
“…what?”
“Kazuha…” he said slowly, “…you’re really cheerful.”
“I know,” she said with a grin. “I don’t know exactly why, but I’m just in a really good mood today.” She leaned back in her chair and popped the last bite of her toast into her mouth. “I slept really well last night. So I’ve got a lot of energy today.”
Heiji nearly choked on his orange juice. “K-Kazuha!”
“What? I’m hyper!”
“No! About last night!” he said, surprised at how indignant he felt over her relaxed attitude. He was in knots over trying to figure out what it all meant. “What was that all about? You…slept in my bed.” He lost some of his energy at that last statement, realizing how it sounded.
Kazuha stared at him for a moment, then smiled. “Yes. I did. Because you asked me to, remember?” She reached across the table and poked him in the forehead. “You said you liked waking up next to me and wanted to feel that again. So I obliged you.”
He brushed her hand away with a mumbled, “I noticed…”
“If it bothered you that much, I won’t do it again,” she shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“N-no, that’s not it…” Heiji said, perhaps a little too quickly. “Just surprised me, that’s all.”
Kazuha’s smile faded a bit and she sighed. “Heiji…” One hand ran through her hair, which she had not yet pulled back into its usual ponytail. “Look, I’m sorry…I was just kidding around. I didn’t think it would bother you that much…”
“I liked it.”
That stopped her cold. “You did?”
“Yeah. I did,” Heiji nodded. He leaned back in his chair. “I really did.”
Kazuha chuckled after a moment’s pause. “Are we making things complicated again?”
He couldn’t help but smile back at that. “I think so…” He sighed with a wry smile. “We usually do, don’t we? If it’s not complicated, it’s screaming and arguing and calling each other names, right?”
“Can’t be helped,” she said airily, a little mischief returning to her eyes. “We wouldn’t have to argue so much if you would just stop being such a hopeless ahou and admit that I’m always right.”
The look Heiji gave her could have frozen water. “Like hell.” Then he adopted a more thoughtful expression. “Well…did you mind being in there like that? With me?”
Kazuha shook her head. “No. I actually slept really well with you there. Although it sounds like that doesn’t exactly hold true for both of us…” Her look was a touch sympathetic. “I didn’t mean to upset your sleep schedule like that.”
“Nah, just caught me off guard,” he said. “So…do you want to sleep in there again sometime?”
“With you?” Kazuha tilted her head to the side. “Just like it was last night?”
“S-sure,” he stammered only slightly, recalling his thoughts from the previous day. It had been eating at his imagination for ages now. And having her there, in his bed, even fully clothed and not touching him in the slightest…a few very interesting possibilities had found their way into his dreams, when he had fallen asleep. It was borderline agonizing, wanting to hold and touch and kiss, but not daring to even mention the idea. Granted, he was sure that the thought had to have crossed her mind at some point. They were a couple, and living together, and they certainly weren’t children anymore. Still, again he was not going to voice any of those thoughts. Not now, and possibly not ever. “Just like last night.”
“…can I request one change from last night?” she asked softly. “You can say no, but I want to ask.”
“What?”
“…you can touch me, you know,” she said, a blush rising in her cheeks. “Or hold me. I wouldn’t mind falling asleep like that.” She looked down at the table. “With you holding me.”
Heiji’s eyes widened a little bit before he nodded. “If you want…I can do that.”
Kazuha smiled. “Did you like waking up with me next to you like that, Heiji? And be honest, you won’t hurt my feelings. Was it as nice as you remembered it?”
He thought it over, remembering the events of that first night when she had appeared on his doorstep, rain-drenched and bent to the point of breaking. He remembered taking her shivering form and tucking it into his bed, and her catching his hand as she begged him not to go away. He recalled sitting there until sleep finally overtook him, and then taking the other side of the bed to doze off and sleep away what was left of the night.
And Heiji smiled. “It’s better.”
-o-
Kazuha came in again that night and crawled into his bed. Again, she showed no interest in any activity other than innocent sleep. But this time, she was a little closer, and he was actually able to manage eye contact. It was strange, and still a bit awkward to be so close like this, but not altogether unpleasant. And he slept fairly well, dozing off to the sound of her breathing.
The next day brought no comment, though he felt insanely happy. It was a joke in a strange way, a secret game known only to the two of them and only played under the cover of darkness. It was more a question of where that game would lead. What was the punchline of the joke?
Heiji was already in bed the fifth night when she wandered in. She crawled in, as she had done many times before. But instead of sprawling on her own side of the bed (he already thought of it as her side of the bed) and mumbling a demand that he share the blankets, she sat there for a moment…and then inched over and curled up right beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.
It took a few moments for his heart rate to return to normal and for the tension that had gripped him to flood back out of his entire body. Kazuha chuckled lightly, but otherwise gave no indication that she was aware of his reaction before she snuggled down to sleep.
Heiji was going all different directions: thrilled at her proximity, humiliated at her laughter, surprised at how forward she was being, mortified at his own imagination, and appalled that he had to remind his body that Now Was Not The Time.
By the time he fell asleep, with her curled up next to him, he had gotten over the initial embarrassment (and calmed himself down where he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have any extreme physical reactions), and had decided that this was definitely not the worst position he had ever slept in. It could definitely be a great deal worse.
And the waking up was definitely nice. He liked that part. All he had to was continue to ignore his imagination over the next several days as it tried to prod him further onwards towards something that they weren’t ready for, something that could break one or both of them.
Still, his fingers itched…
And Kazuha was completely oblivious. Oh, she had to know on some level that the two of them sharing a bed would open the door for so many thoughts and ideas, and she was probably somewhat aware that he was thinking about those things, but she seemed more or less unaware of exactly how much of an affect she was having on him. She just went about things as usual, laughing and teasing and frowning and yelling-frequently yelling.
They could still argue over anything and everything at the drop of a hat-and frequently did, much to the amusement of those who knew them-but now the apologies were usually tempered with kisses.
It seemed, though, that this was the start of something else. Something bigger. They were building up to something, heading towards that which was unknown, but if they really thought about it, they would probably both be able to predict the outcome of this.
They had been enjoying this set-up of falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms for nearly two weeks before the status quo decided to shift once again and take things up another notch.
This came about one night when Kazuha was already in bed and under the covers, sitting up and chatting with Heiji as he searched for a shirt to wear to bed. This in and of itself was nothing too special; she had seen him shirtless plenty of times. But of course she had to tease him right now. “Aww, why spoil the wonderful view with a shirt?” she grinned.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, the shirt in question finally clutched in his hand. “You just like to ogle. Admit it already,” he said, slipping his arms into the sleeves but not yet pulling it over his head.
Kazuha purred softly in response.
“If you get to see me without my shirt,” Heiji said with an undeniably speculative gleam in his eye, “shouldn’t I get the same treatment? Turnabout being fair play and all?” He meant it as a joke, and expected her to get annoyed, call him an ahou, possibly take a swing at his head, or maybe even tell him to go look in a mirror if he wanted ‘the same treatment.’
Instead, she went deathly pale. “I guess so…” she murmured, turning her upper body away from him.
“…hey, Kazuha, it was just a jo-“ Heiji started to protest…
But he was silenced in the most extraordinary way when she crossed her arms over stomach, grabbed the hem of the camisole she was wearing as a nightshirt, and peeled it off, tugging it over her head and dropping it to the floor beside the bed. She immediately slid down under the blankets, wrapping the sheet around herself to preserve modesty as she lay on her side. This pose presented Heiji with an ideal view of the smooth, bare skin of her back. “Good night,” was all she said.
Heiji’s own shirt fell from nerveless fingers and dropped to the ground, already forgotten, and he stared at her. Had she just…? Did she really…? …and what in blazes was he supposed to do about it?
He ended up curling up on his own side of the bed, staring through the darkness at her. Her skin was pale enough that it almost seemed to glow in the dim light. It was a sight that lingered on the back of Heiji’s eyelids long after he had fallen into a surprisingly restful sleep.
He was learning to sleep with her presence beside him, and where it had once made it difficult for him to be at ease, it was now comforting and constant. He liked it.
The next day was uneventful and without comment as to their unusual sleeping arrangement. But the next night brought a renewal of their strange little dance. It took Heiji two more nights of looking at her naked back to work up the nerve to ask if he could touch her. He might have been brilliant, but try as he might, he just could not figure out exactly how to progress in this game.
And he nearly froze when she said yes. His mind immediately conjured up a rather appealing image of flipping her over and tearing at her clothes and finally seeing all of her as he pressed her back to the mattress and…and…
Instead, he just scooted closer to her and slid an arm around her waist to pull her back against him. Her back fit perfectly into the contours of his chest, flesh against flesh; her skin was cool. She kept the sheet wrapped protectively around the front of her upper body, and leaned back against him with a happy, contented sigh.
She was driving him crazy.
He wanted to touch her.
…but he refrained.
-o-
The strange dance continued after that night, but it had taken a new direction. It was flirtatious, certainly, and seductive in a clueless sort of way. Neither was experienced in this matter, beyond Kazuha’s abortive affair in America-which was the precise reason that everything between them was moving so slowly in the first place.
But slow or otherwise, things were progressing in what was undoubtedly the world’s slowest striptease.
The shirts went first, and it took several nights before they were both completely comfortable sleeping against each other, skin against skin with their arms around one another.
Then pants, and again it was quite some time before they were able to sleep with their legs entwined under the sheets. It was down to the bare minimum…and after the night that signaled the removal of that last obstacle, they slept with the sheet between them, never completely pressed together.
It was starting to creep into their daytime routines as well. Moments of unusual awkwardness, touches lingering a little longer than usual, furtive glances accompanied by red faces…all were becoming the norm. And they weren’t arguing as much as they usually did, a sure sign of a problem.
But neither actively brought it up. Kazuha looked like she might say something a few times, and Heiji nearly exploded on one occasion…but she left the room, and he was able to clamp down tightly on himself before she came back. And so it was left in silence.
For every tense moment, there were still so many sweet moments. But it was becoming increasingly clear to both of them that things were building up to something, a potentially explosive head. It was just a matter of finding the spark that would set off the powder keg. And the resulting explosion could do just about anything, including destroy them.
It was only a matter of time.
-o-
The evening had started simply enough, with a perfectly innocent excursion to dinner. Nothing really out of the ordinary there. They went out with some regularity, as most couples did, and enjoyed their evenings out. While Kazuha was an amazing cook, and Heiji could manage when he felt like it, it was just nice to go out and let someone else prepare their meal now and then, or to do other things.
Tonight was a dinner night. And though neither of them were big drinkers, both enjoyed a few glasses of wine with their meal; there was no harm, as neither had to drive, and they had no intention of going overboard. By the time they caught a cab and headed back to their apartment building, both were feeling warm, fuzzy, and very cheerful.
They made it into their building and all the way to their apartment itself without difficulty or incident. Once safely inside, Kazuha kicked off her shoes, not bothering to leave them in any order. “So!” she bubbled, beaming. “Th’ night is still young! Whatcha wanna do?”
Heiji shed his own shoes in the same haphazard fashion, and also took the time to remove his jacket; he dropped this carelessly to the floor and waved a hand at her. “Why’re you still wearin’ yer jacket?” He reached out and caught her shoulders in both hands. “Ahou…” The old nickname rolled easily off his tongue in a habitual act as he tugged at her jacket, unsure as to why it was bothering him that she was still wearing it. “S’after eleven. Not young anymore.”
…it actually bothered him, on some level, that she was wearing anything, really…
She leaned against him with a grin. “You silly.”
And she kissed him as her jacket slid back off her arms and dropped to the floor at her feet.
There was a flicker of memory, of something painful from another night in what felt like another time. But it was lost in what was happening now, a far more pleasant, enticing distraction with none of the accompanying guilt, anguish, or distaste of that awful memory.
Their arms were around each other, already engaged in innocent exploration, and they were moving away from the front door in search of more comfortable quarters. They paused by the door to his bedroom, and he felt her tense in his arms as though she were thinking about some other possibilities…
And then she tugged on him, pulling him away from the bedroom and pressing his back to the wall instead. In his mind, it was tantamount to a silent indication of what she was thinking and what she wanted: Not that. Not now. Not yet. And he was perfectly fine with that.
There wasn’t much time to catch his breath before her lips were against his against, hands grazing over his arms and chest in innocent exploration. And he had lost much control over his own hands and his own wandering touches. He might have said her name. He wasn’t sure. If he did, it was lost in a press of lips that was growing more and more insistent with each passing second.
…eh, thinking was highly overrated.
When he wasn’t on a case, anyway.
In the meantime, the kisses grew more desperate and more heated. He was tasting her and touching her, finally daring to let things get a little more bold. His hands started to brush over more intimate places. Their unusual sleeping arrangements meant that he was just starting to learn the path of her body, but he was willing and eager to figure it out.
Kazuha wasn’t protesting, but pressing harder and making little noises into his mouth.
Emboldened by her actions and the hazy cloud of arousal, he moved his hands, feeling breasts that moved beneath his hands and hearing her moan in response and the whole thing was so amazing…
Suddenly Kazuha jerked back and looked at Heiji with wide eyes. Startled (and a little disappointed) at the sudden end to the very pleasing kiss, Heiji blinked back at her through eyes that had gone glassy with desire. “K-Kazuha…?” He was alarmed at the look in her green eyes, the look of panic and fear and unmistakable arousal. She should never wear that kind of expression…
She eased back, out of his arms, and wrapped her arms around herself. “I think…” she paused, then cleared her throat to try and make some of the hoarseness go away, “I think I need to go to bed.” She moved backwards, towards her own room. “Need to sleep…” Her breathing came in little pants, her face red, and her wide eyes never leaving his face. “I-good night.”
With those two last, rushed words, she stepped backwards into the darkness of her own bedroom and quickly closed the door behind her. Heiji was left alone, leaning heavily against the wall, staring at the closed door and realizing that he had probably just done something very, very wrong.
It took him a few moments to make his wobbly knees cooperate, but he managed to make it back into his own room, where he sat down on the bed and stared at the floor. It felt strange to be alone in his room like this at night…
After a while, he got up and fumbled through the darkness until he found pajamas. Once he was changed for bed, he crawled under the blankets and lay there, staring at the ceiling and trying to sleep. But try as he might, sleep was not coming. He couldn’t sleep without Kazuha’s warmth on the other side of the bed and her steady breathing in his ear.
…he’d messed up big time, hadn’t he?
For what seemed like hours, he just gazed up at the moonlight-touched darkness and thought about everything. He really had started this all because he couldn’t keep his imagination in check, and dropped that little bug in her ear, mentioning how much he wanted to wake up to her. And now they were stuck in this game with rules he hadn’t quite been able to grasp.
Why couldn’t he have just taken the damn risk and said straight-up that he’d been thinking about sex and wanted to know where the boundaries were?
The next time he turned his head and glanced at the clock, he was stunned to see that it was just past two-thirty in the morning. How had so much time gone past so quickly? He really needed to get to sleep and let tomorrow bring what it would. Too bad he couldn’t doze off without…
…her…?
Was his door opening?
Heiji sat up in bed. “Kazuha?”
“Hey…” she murmured. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah…”
She slipped through the door and closed it behind her. “I can’t sleep,” she said.
“Me neither,” he managed a chuckle and admitted, “I think I got too used to you being with me.”
“Same here,” she laughed lightly in return, walking slowly towards the bed. “I couldn’t fall asleep by myself. So I thought I’d come in here and see if you were awake.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Hey…I’m sorry about what happened before. Even though I probably shouldn’t be. I’m well within my rights to not want to…” She stopped herself there, and fell silent.
There was a moment of silence between them before Heiji broke it. “Kazuha, I wanted to ask-“
“Sex, right?”
“…yeah.”
To his surprise, she chuckled. “I thought so.” She sat down on the edge of the bed; in the dim light, he could see that she was wearing a camisole and pants. The moonlight still had that extraordinary affect on her pale skin. She was beautiful.
But the silence that fell then was thick and heavy.
“You know…” Kazuha said after that moment of quiet. “I won’t run away just because you ask me something. I’ll be honest. But I won’t run.” She sighed. “To be honest, I’ve been thinking a lot lately…”
“About what?”
She looked out towards the window. “This whole thing…what happened before, our whole relationship since I came back, what’s happening now…I’m being selfish. I’ve been selfish about everything. And maybe it’s time that I stop being so self-centered and start thinking beyond that.” She sighed. “This isn’t just about me. It’s about you too.”
“Kazuha-“
“What do you want, Heiji? Please be honest.”
“…I don’t know anymore,” he sighed, startled to realize that it was the truth. He knew what he ultimately would like, but at the same time he didn’t know if he really wanted it to happen. Still, he wasn’t going to let it go like that. “What do you want?”
“I want to wake up the next morning and not be alone in bed,” she said softly. “That’s what happened before. I don’t want to go through that again. It’s lonely.” She finally turned to look at him. “Heiji, I want you. Lord knows we’ve been together long enough. But…”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “There’s always a but, isn’t there?”
“Always.”
“Well…I can promise that I’ll be there in the morning,” he said softly. “Just like I’ve been every other morning.” He leaned his head back against the headboard. “Look, I think we’re both too worked up to really make a decision right now. So…maybe we should go to sleep.”
She nodded and started to stand, then hesitated.
Before she even opened her mouth to ask, Heiji nodded. “You can stay in here if you want. I’d actually be grateful. I can’t sleep without you breathing in my ear.” As she silently crawled into bed, he couldn’t help but add, “You sound like Darth Vader.”
That got a favorable reaction, in the sense that she seemed annoyed. “Oh, shut up.”
She did curl up next to him, though, and dozed off in record time, finally comfortable.
-o-
Who are you…?
She was being pushed down by something, someone…pushing her back against a hard surface and pressing against her, into her. It hurt. It hurt so much, and it was so cold and unfeeling, but she couldn’t make a sound. She couldn’t even scream.
Let me go…please let me go…
It didn’t stop.
I don’t want that…
Her voice broke, and so too did the scream that had been stuck painfully in her throat. And she tore away, unsure of how she did so, and fell, pulling her knees up to her bare chest and curling up as tightly as possible. She was naked and alone, and felt so awful, so dirty…
I’m not yours…
She lay there, shivering, for a moment before she felt another touch. Where the first touches had been painful, this was soothing. The earlier ones had been cold; this was warm and comforting, and she wanted more of it. She reached for that hand, drawing it to her.
I’m yours…
And she pulled that warmth to her, holding on tightly and noticing that the skin of that hand was so much darker than her own.
I want you…
-o-
Kazuha opened her eyes with a jolt and sat up in bed, both hands clutching at her throat as she tried desperately to breathe. She felt strange, hot and cold at the same time, and terribly shaky.
There was a groan beside her, followed by movement and a tugging at the sheets, and then Heiji sat up as well. “You okay?” he asked, concern in his voice and face. He touched her shoulder.
…it was warm.
She looked at him through the darkness for a moment before she reached out and grabbed him, pushing him back against the green and white sheets with a kiss that started out sweet and chaste, but did not stay that way for long.
The kiss broke, and Heiji panted out her name. “K-Kazuha…?”
She swallowed hard to steel her nerve and chase away those last few nagging doubts, and smiled, again lowering her lips to his as she murmured two words: “Be gentle…”
There was a beat before he started moving, and judging by his actions, he understood.
It was like the last several weeks of patience and taking their time had just played back on quadruple speed. They pulled at each other’s clothes, tossing the offending garments aside without any need to hide from each other. It was fast and desperate, and she moaned as he immediately started searching her for sensitive spots. Before long, he was growling and she was tugging at him, trying to make him understand what her failing voice couldn’t seem to say.
From there, everything happened very, very quickly. He fumbled with the nightstand drawer for a moment and produced a small package. She knew what it was-had he really been planning this? Or was it a ‘just in case’ sort of thing?
…now was really not the time to be asking, she decided, and helped him take care of that, kissing the hell out of him as her hands figured out the intricacies of the thing. Once it was done, he rolled over and pulled her on top of him.
Message received, loud and clear.
There was no patience anymore. They wanted it, and they wanted it now.
Still, she hesitated and took one last breath before she dropped down and took him into her.
…it hurt more than she thought it would. But she had only done this once before, and it had been a while. She was still, hands clenching on his stomach as she adjusted to the feeling. Heiji’s hands clutched at her hips; she could feel him shaking as he fought to keep himself still.
After a moment, she nodded, and they started to move against each other; he gripped her waist to pull her against him until they finally found a steady rhythm. Soon the dark air around them was filled with small sounds as they lost themselves in everything.
It felt good, but she did not climax that first time. Still, she felt him and waited while he rode it out. She assured him that it was all right, not to worry, but he got that determined look on his face (the one that meant he had made up his mind about something) before he flipped her down and pulled on her legs, tugging her down to the bed, and lowering his head.
Kazuha didn’t know where he had picked that particular trick up, but she arched her back, her fingers clutching helplessly at his hair as he teased her to the brink. She saw white and heard fireworks before she slumped back against the sheets, spent and breathless. His weight shifted over her once more, pressing back against her, and she turned her head to find his lips and kiss him with all the energy she could muster up.
After a moment, she felt him move, and wondered where he was going. But he whispered a suggestion to her, his voice warm in her ear. She nodded and let him actually pick her up and carry her out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where she was finally able to make her legs cooperate and support her weight. He turned on the water and pulled her under the spray, tugging the curtain behind her.
“Why did you close that?” she asked softly. It was a silly question to ask, but she had to ask it anyway.
“Just…felt weird to have it open,” he murmured back. His fingers were dragging through the full length of her messy hair, combing the warm water through it. That was good enough for her.
There didn’t seem to be any immediate need for actual sex, but there was plenty of want for touches, gentle and innocent and sweet and exploring as the water joined with their hands to wash away the traces of sweat and the smell of sex.
She let Heiji wash her hair. He very shyly asked if he could, and she found it strangely sweet, and so she said yes. She turned her back to him, and closed her eyes as his soapy fingers began working their way through her hair, massaging her scalp from the top of her head down to her neck. It felt nice, calming, and intimate without being erotic. It went on far longer than it needed to, but she had no complaints.
When he was done, Kazuha returned the favor. He had to kneel so she could reach, being just tall enough that she couldn’t do it comfortably while he was standing. She felt a flicker of embarrassment, but he simply leaned his forehead against her stomach and sighed happily as she went about it.
They stayed in there until the water started to run cold. When they finally stepped out of the shower, Kazuha couldn’t quite keep herself from rubbing the towel all over his head to help dry his hair, earning a squawk from her lover. He responded by chasing her back to the bedroom, trying to get a grip on the towel she had wrapped around her torso and tug it away.
It wasn’t until they were back in bed that they both realized exactly how exhausted they really were. Heiji did manage to finally pull her towel away. Kazuha barely had enough energy left to curl up against him and mumble a goodnight and a ‘love you’ before she fell asleep, feeling tired and safe and happy.
-o-
When Kazuha next became aware of the world, it was a great deal brighter. Without even opening her eyes, she was conscious of the fact that there was sunlight streaming in through the window, and the day was well upon them. She wondered what time it was.
It had certainly been an eventful night, to say the least.
She stretched out, remembering the events of the early morning hours; even the feel of muscles stretching in protest after engaging in an activity that they were definitely not accustomed to couldn’t keep the smile from her face. She and Heiji had…
Wow…
They were finally…
This was easily the happiest Kazuha had ever been.
She rolled over, reaching her arms out with every intention of snuggling up to Heiji and wasting a few more moments of the day like that before she felt her usual sense of cosmic obligation to get up and do something productive with whatever was left of her day. She could smell his scent on the bedding…
But she immediately realized that something was wrong when her hands fell on empty sheets.
The other side of the bed was empty.
Suddenly, Kazuha was wide awake, and all of the warm, happy feelings she had been enjoying vanished. She sat up, clutching the blanket around her bare torso as she glanced around the room, but to no avail.
Heiji wasn’t there.
She went cold inside, remembering what they had talked about the night before. Her biggest fear was that history would repeat itself, that she would wake up alone in the morning and find him gone. He had sworn up and down that he would never do that to her, and she had believed him. She had no reason to doubt him, no reason at all…
So why was she alone?
Unbidden tears sprang to her eyes, and her shoulders started to shake. He wouldn’t…Heiji didn’t…
And then she heard a sound through the wall that told her everything she needed to know. She stared at the wall for a moment, listening to that sound, and then hearing footsteps padding back towards the bedroom. Making a quick decision, she burrowed back under the blankets, trying to give the illusion that she was still sound asleep.
The footsteps moved softly across the room and stopped by the bed. There was a pause, and then Heiji spoke, his voice laden with irony: “…I get out of bed for ten seconds to go use the bathroom, and that’s when you finally decide to wake up?”
He wasn’t fooled. She opened her eyes, and that loosed the floodgates as the tears that had already gathered rolled down her face. “I woke up and you weren’t there…” It wasn’t an accusation, but a statement of a fact that had left her terrified.
Arms were around her in an instant. “I’m sorry,” he sounded like he was torn between worry and chuckling. When she looked up, his green eyes (she loved his eyes, and that shade of green was her favorite color simply because it was the color of his eyes) were watching her closely.
Kazuha shook her head. “No…I overreacted.” She wrapped her arms around him and flopped back to the bed, pulling him down next to her and curling up to him. “I just panicked. I trust you. Just…gave me a little bit of a heart attack, you know? But I’m not angry, it’s okay.” To prove her point, she arched up a bit and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.
Heiji reached down and pulled the green and white bedding up around them before settling in. “I probably shouldn’t have done that with the blankets, should I?” he chuckled as he got comfortable. “We’re not going to move for the rest of the day, are we?”
“Hmm, you know I can’t be completely lazy all day,” she replied, closing her eyes. “Give me a little while longer, and then I’ll be ready to face the day. Besides,” she nudged him with her elbow, “I know how grouchy you get when you try to ignore your stomach. Not a pretty sight.”
“Ahou!” he shot back automatically.
“Not my fault you’re a black hole on legs.”
“You don’t have to rub it in.”
“Yes, I do.”
It was like nothing had changed at all, really. They were poking and prodding and bickering just like they always had; they certainly didn’t look different, if a bit mussed for a lack of grooming. The only differences were the way he held her a bit closer and a bit more tightly than he ever had before…and the fact that they were pressed together skin to skin, naked and exposed and unashamed of either fact.
But in short order, the argument gave way to some very pleasant kisses.
After a while, Kazuha sat up and reached down, fumbling around on the floor for something to wear. “I am going to make breakfast,” she announced, finally getting a hand on a shirt. She lifted it, and found that it was Heiji’s, but she still yanked it over her head. It was huge, and when she stood the hem hung halfway down her thighs.
Heiji looked disappointed, but she was firm. “Get up soon, or you’re fixing your own breakfast.”
-o-
When evening came, Heiji wondered what would happen. Would there be a repeat of the glorious night before? Would she even want to sleep in the same bed? He waited until he saw her yawn for the third time before he spoke up. “Hey, Kazuha…”
“Hmm, I think I’m going to head to bed,” she said, rising to her feet. Before he could asked the question, she added, “I think I’m going to sleep in my own room tonight.”
Heiji couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed, but he simply nodded and wished her a good night.
Kazuha stretched her arms over her head and started towards the door to her bedroom. She paused there, though, and glanced back over her shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep tonight?”
“…huh?”
She smiled. “Where are you going to sleep tonight, Heiji?”
It took him a moment to realize what she actually meant. In the second it took him to process the full implications, she had vanished into her room, leaving the door wide open in a silent, encouraging addition to her verbal invitation.
Smiling to himself, Heiji made sure all the lights were off in the apartment before he headed into her room, closing the door behind him to shut them both in for the night.
PS. Let it be known that I SUCK AT WRITING SMUT. But I tried, and that’s what counts, amirite? Whew…this one took a while, all eight thousand words of it XD But it marks the seventy-fifth story in this challenge. I am now three-fourths of the way done with fanfic100. WHOO! Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Heiji/Kazuha (General series)
Prompt: #14-green
Word Count: 7922 words
Rating: R (for sexuality)
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Heiji mentioned that he missed waking up next to her…
Overall, Heiji was a relatively happy person; he really had a lot going for him. He came from a good family (even though he and his father did still manage to get into regular shouting matches over various things). He had great friends. He had a reputation as being the best detective in Osaka and as such made a fairly tidy living. He had a nice home to come back to at the end of the day.
And he had his special someone. Life was wonderful. He truly couldn’t complain.
But lately, certain things had been gnawing at his brain regarding his special someone.
Oh, he had tried to ignore those niggling little thoughts. But they refused to be brushed aside, and so renewed their relentless assault on his consciousness. As days went bye, he found himself thinking certain thoughts more and more often, often with a much greater intensity than he was personally comfortable with.
Even murders couldn’t distract him from those ideas. Such was the case when he came home one afternoon from a case, still thinking about Certain Things…and there she was, just sitting on the kitchen counter…finishing off an ice cream cone, of all things.
“Welcome back!” Kazuha cheered as he came in.
“Hey…” he walked over and just watched her. He swallowed hard as she lapped up the last traces of vanilla and then bite into the sugary brown cone. It didn’t take her long to finish.
She had gotten to the very last bite before she realized that she had an audience. When she looked up at him, she had the very end of the round ice cream cone sticking out of her mouth. “Hmm?” she murmured around it, giving him a wide-eyed, questioning look.
Added to the fact that she was still in pajamas that were three sizes too large for her, and it all added up to being so adorable that Heiji could barely stand it. It didn’t help any that she was wearing pajamas, period-his brain started making some rather questionable suggestions, heedless of the fact that acting on any of those suggestions would undoubtedly get him killed, revived, and killed again. But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking them.
From thinking that they had been together for quite a while.
From remembering a certain morning…
Before he realized what he was doing, he had crossed the kitchen and put his hands on the counter, one on either side of her. And he leaned in and kissed her a lot more fiercely than he usually did. He could taste the vanilla on her lips and tongue. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. It was all enough to leave them both breathless.
When he pulled away, she stared at him for a moment. “Wow…what brought that on?”
He cleared his throat. Maybe there was a way to put this that would at least get it out into the open and not result in him kissing a few of his limbs goodbye. “I’ve been thinking lately…” he began slowly. “Remember when you first came back to Japan? That very first morning?”
“Yes…” she said softly.
“Well…I sort of miss that feeling,” he said. “I mean-that morning when I woke up and you were there next to me? That was awesome. I liked that.” It wasn’t exactly what he was trying to say, but it was close. Sort of.
Kazuha blinked owlishly at him. “You…miss that?”
“…yeah. I do.”
She looked bewildered. “Waking up next to me?”
“…yes,” he fidgeted uncomfortably.
“I see…” Kazuha now looked thoughtful, and he wondered if she’d guessed what he was really trying to say. She certainly wasn’t stupid, and he definitely wasn’t being a very good ninja about this.
It was then that he realized he still had her trapped against the counter, one of his hands on either side of her. He was sorely tempted to kiss her again, but given the awkward conversation that had just taken place, he decided against it. Instead, he pushed away from the counter and took a couple of steps backwards, away from her. “Sorry…” he murmured before making a hasty exit to the safety of his own bedroom.
Kazuha was left sitting on the counter. And she was thinking…
-o-
Three hours later, Heiji was preparing for bed. He was also still kicking himself for saying anything. She probably thought he was a complete moron now-granted, she might very well have thought that before, but now he had confirmed it. And he hadn’t even actually managed to say what was on his mind.
He had ventured out of his room in search of something to eat, and found Kazuha was not in sight. Judging by the fact that her bedroom door was closed, he assumed she was in there and not eager for company. He took this as a sure sign that he had damaged things somehow.
He sighed and grabbed the oversized T-shirt he was using as the top half of his pajamas. Yanking it over his head, he decided to try and stop thinking about it. Things would hopefully be back to some sort of normalcy by the next morning. Kazuha could have quite a temper, but usually she didn’t hold onto grudges or anything like that for too long. Breakfast would tell.
The bed was already turned down, and he flopped down onto it without even bothering to crawl under the blankets. Between the murder case and making a complete ass of himself in front of Kazuha, he was worn out. But just as he was about to turn off the lights and officially go to bed, there was a knock on his bedroom door.
Well, there was only one person that could be. “Come in!” he called.
Sure enough, it was Kazuha. She was still wearing her pajamas and carrying…a pillow? “Hi!” she said cheerfully.
“What are you doing?” he watched in confusion as she crossed the room and hopped onto the bed.
“Well, you said that you missed waking up next to me. So since you can’t seem to bear being away from me even long enough to sleep,” she teased, grinning at the fact that he turned slightly pink, “I decided to come in here.” She tossed one of the pillows from his bed and replaced it with her own.
He stared as she arranged her pillow and the blankets and crawled into bed, pulling the sheets up around her. “I…err…what?” Heiji stammered. She had to be joking. There was no way she was serious…
“It’s a slumber party!” she cheered, scooting down to lay under the blankets. It was only then that she seemed to notice his scrutiny. “What? Is something wrong?”
“No! Nothing!” Heiji quickly clamped himself back under control. “I mean…if you want to sleep in here, that’s fine with me.” It was pretty clear that she wasn’t actually thinking of doing anything; she was completely serious and honest when she said that they were going to have a slumber party and she was going to sleep in here.
Though he had to admit that Kazuha sleeping in his bed was amazing under any circumstances. Well…except possibly for the ones that had brought her home. But that was a special case by definition. But the point was that she was currently curled up in his bed with the intention of sleeping there.
With him.
In a completely innocent manner, of course.
But still…it made his head spin and his heart race.
“Are you ready for bed?” she asked cheerfully.
“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he replied, pulling the blanket up around him.
Kazuha reached over and turned off the light; that done, she leaned sideways to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Well, g’night!” she said. She snuggled down under the blankets, sighed…and relaxed as she prepared to let herself nod off for the night.
Heiji sat up in bed and stared at her through the darkness long after she had dozed off.
-o-
The next morning was surprisingly and pleasantly free of awkwardness.
Well, from Kazuha’s side of things, anyway.
She didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that she had just spent the night in Heiji’s bed-though it had been clothed and without any real physical contact. Heiji had spent a good while lying awake, glancing over at her sleeping form. He had not touched her. But he could not shake the image and feeling.
Kazuha had slept in his bed.
There was no emotional duress or special circumstances. And the choice had been hers completely.
She had just walked in and done it.
And trying to figure it out was killing Heiji.
She was bouncing around cheerfully, though somehow she managed to not spread a path of toast crumbs in her wake. That in and of itself seemed borderline miraculous as far as Heiji was concerned. But her attitude…it wasn’t that he wanted things to be awkward, but it seemed like things should be.
“So what’re you doing today?” she asked cheerfully.
He shook himself and managed a reply. “Oh…I’m going down to the precinct. Had that case the other day. They need me to come in and answer a couple of questions and fill out some paperwork. Pretty standard stuff. Also pretty boring stuff, but eh, comes with the territory.”
“Aww,” she pouted a little. “Is it going to take long?”
“Probably just a couple of hours,” he said with a shrug.
“…we should get lunch,” she cheered. “Go out for a little bit this afternoon.”
Heiji stared at her.
“…what?”
“Kazuha…” he said slowly, “…you’re really cheerful.”
“I know,” she said with a grin. “I don’t know exactly why, but I’m just in a really good mood today.” She leaned back in her chair and popped the last bite of her toast into her mouth. “I slept really well last night. So I’ve got a lot of energy today.”
Heiji nearly choked on his orange juice. “K-Kazuha!”
“What? I’m hyper!”
“No! About last night!” he said, surprised at how indignant he felt over her relaxed attitude. He was in knots over trying to figure out what it all meant. “What was that all about? You…slept in my bed.” He lost some of his energy at that last statement, realizing how it sounded.
Kazuha stared at him for a moment, then smiled. “Yes. I did. Because you asked me to, remember?” She reached across the table and poked him in the forehead. “You said you liked waking up next to me and wanted to feel that again. So I obliged you.”
He brushed her hand away with a mumbled, “I noticed…”
“If it bothered you that much, I won’t do it again,” she shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“N-no, that’s not it…” Heiji said, perhaps a little too quickly. “Just surprised me, that’s all.”
Kazuha’s smile faded a bit and she sighed. “Heiji…” One hand ran through her hair, which she had not yet pulled back into its usual ponytail. “Look, I’m sorry…I was just kidding around. I didn’t think it would bother you that much…”
“I liked it.”
That stopped her cold. “You did?”
“Yeah. I did,” Heiji nodded. He leaned back in his chair. “I really did.”
Kazuha chuckled after a moment’s pause. “Are we making things complicated again?”
He couldn’t help but smile back at that. “I think so…” He sighed with a wry smile. “We usually do, don’t we? If it’s not complicated, it’s screaming and arguing and calling each other names, right?”
“Can’t be helped,” she said airily, a little mischief returning to her eyes. “We wouldn’t have to argue so much if you would just stop being such a hopeless ahou and admit that I’m always right.”
The look Heiji gave her could have frozen water. “Like hell.” Then he adopted a more thoughtful expression. “Well…did you mind being in there like that? With me?”
Kazuha shook her head. “No. I actually slept really well with you there. Although it sounds like that doesn’t exactly hold true for both of us…” Her look was a touch sympathetic. “I didn’t mean to upset your sleep schedule like that.”
“Nah, just caught me off guard,” he said. “So…do you want to sleep in there again sometime?”
“With you?” Kazuha tilted her head to the side. “Just like it was last night?”
“S-sure,” he stammered only slightly, recalling his thoughts from the previous day. It had been eating at his imagination for ages now. And having her there, in his bed, even fully clothed and not touching him in the slightest…a few very interesting possibilities had found their way into his dreams, when he had fallen asleep. It was borderline agonizing, wanting to hold and touch and kiss, but not daring to even mention the idea. Granted, he was sure that the thought had to have crossed her mind at some point. They were a couple, and living together, and they certainly weren’t children anymore. Still, again he was not going to voice any of those thoughts. Not now, and possibly not ever. “Just like last night.”
“…can I request one change from last night?” she asked softly. “You can say no, but I want to ask.”
“What?”
“…you can touch me, you know,” she said, a blush rising in her cheeks. “Or hold me. I wouldn’t mind falling asleep like that.” She looked down at the table. “With you holding me.”
Heiji’s eyes widened a little bit before he nodded. “If you want…I can do that.”
Kazuha smiled. “Did you like waking up with me next to you like that, Heiji? And be honest, you won’t hurt my feelings. Was it as nice as you remembered it?”
He thought it over, remembering the events of that first night when she had appeared on his doorstep, rain-drenched and bent to the point of breaking. He remembered taking her shivering form and tucking it into his bed, and her catching his hand as she begged him not to go away. He recalled sitting there until sleep finally overtook him, and then taking the other side of the bed to doze off and sleep away what was left of the night.
And Heiji smiled. “It’s better.”
-o-
Kazuha came in again that night and crawled into his bed. Again, she showed no interest in any activity other than innocent sleep. But this time, she was a little closer, and he was actually able to manage eye contact. It was strange, and still a bit awkward to be so close like this, but not altogether unpleasant. And he slept fairly well, dozing off to the sound of her breathing.
The next day brought no comment, though he felt insanely happy. It was a joke in a strange way, a secret game known only to the two of them and only played under the cover of darkness. It was more a question of where that game would lead. What was the punchline of the joke?
Heiji was already in bed the fifth night when she wandered in. She crawled in, as she had done many times before. But instead of sprawling on her own side of the bed (he already thought of it as her side of the bed) and mumbling a demand that he share the blankets, she sat there for a moment…and then inched over and curled up right beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.
It took a few moments for his heart rate to return to normal and for the tension that had gripped him to flood back out of his entire body. Kazuha chuckled lightly, but otherwise gave no indication that she was aware of his reaction before she snuggled down to sleep.
Heiji was going all different directions: thrilled at her proximity, humiliated at her laughter, surprised at how forward she was being, mortified at his own imagination, and appalled that he had to remind his body that Now Was Not The Time.
By the time he fell asleep, with her curled up next to him, he had gotten over the initial embarrassment (and calmed himself down where he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have any extreme physical reactions), and had decided that this was definitely not the worst position he had ever slept in. It could definitely be a great deal worse.
And the waking up was definitely nice. He liked that part. All he had to was continue to ignore his imagination over the next several days as it tried to prod him further onwards towards something that they weren’t ready for, something that could break one or both of them.
Still, his fingers itched…
And Kazuha was completely oblivious. Oh, she had to know on some level that the two of them sharing a bed would open the door for so many thoughts and ideas, and she was probably somewhat aware that he was thinking about those things, but she seemed more or less unaware of exactly how much of an affect she was having on him. She just went about things as usual, laughing and teasing and frowning and yelling-frequently yelling.
They could still argue over anything and everything at the drop of a hat-and frequently did, much to the amusement of those who knew them-but now the apologies were usually tempered with kisses.
It seemed, though, that this was the start of something else. Something bigger. They were building up to something, heading towards that which was unknown, but if they really thought about it, they would probably both be able to predict the outcome of this.
They had been enjoying this set-up of falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms for nearly two weeks before the status quo decided to shift once again and take things up another notch.
This came about one night when Kazuha was already in bed and under the covers, sitting up and chatting with Heiji as he searched for a shirt to wear to bed. This in and of itself was nothing too special; she had seen him shirtless plenty of times. But of course she had to tease him right now. “Aww, why spoil the wonderful view with a shirt?” she grinned.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, the shirt in question finally clutched in his hand. “You just like to ogle. Admit it already,” he said, slipping his arms into the sleeves but not yet pulling it over his head.
Kazuha purred softly in response.
“If you get to see me without my shirt,” Heiji said with an undeniably speculative gleam in his eye, “shouldn’t I get the same treatment? Turnabout being fair play and all?” He meant it as a joke, and expected her to get annoyed, call him an ahou, possibly take a swing at his head, or maybe even tell him to go look in a mirror if he wanted ‘the same treatment.’
Instead, she went deathly pale. “I guess so…” she murmured, turning her upper body away from him.
“…hey, Kazuha, it was just a jo-“ Heiji started to protest…
But he was silenced in the most extraordinary way when she crossed her arms over stomach, grabbed the hem of the camisole she was wearing as a nightshirt, and peeled it off, tugging it over her head and dropping it to the floor beside the bed. She immediately slid down under the blankets, wrapping the sheet around herself to preserve modesty as she lay on her side. This pose presented Heiji with an ideal view of the smooth, bare skin of her back. “Good night,” was all she said.
Heiji’s own shirt fell from nerveless fingers and dropped to the ground, already forgotten, and he stared at her. Had she just…? Did she really…? …and what in blazes was he supposed to do about it?
He ended up curling up on his own side of the bed, staring through the darkness at her. Her skin was pale enough that it almost seemed to glow in the dim light. It was a sight that lingered on the back of Heiji’s eyelids long after he had fallen into a surprisingly restful sleep.
He was learning to sleep with her presence beside him, and where it had once made it difficult for him to be at ease, it was now comforting and constant. He liked it.
The next day was uneventful and without comment as to their unusual sleeping arrangement. But the next night brought a renewal of their strange little dance. It took Heiji two more nights of looking at her naked back to work up the nerve to ask if he could touch her. He might have been brilliant, but try as he might, he just could not figure out exactly how to progress in this game.
And he nearly froze when she said yes. His mind immediately conjured up a rather appealing image of flipping her over and tearing at her clothes and finally seeing all of her as he pressed her back to the mattress and…and…
Instead, he just scooted closer to her and slid an arm around her waist to pull her back against him. Her back fit perfectly into the contours of his chest, flesh against flesh; her skin was cool. She kept the sheet wrapped protectively around the front of her upper body, and leaned back against him with a happy, contented sigh.
She was driving him crazy.
He wanted to touch her.
…but he refrained.
-o-
The strange dance continued after that night, but it had taken a new direction. It was flirtatious, certainly, and seductive in a clueless sort of way. Neither was experienced in this matter, beyond Kazuha’s abortive affair in America-which was the precise reason that everything between them was moving so slowly in the first place.
But slow or otherwise, things were progressing in what was undoubtedly the world’s slowest striptease.
The shirts went first, and it took several nights before they were both completely comfortable sleeping against each other, skin against skin with their arms around one another.
Then pants, and again it was quite some time before they were able to sleep with their legs entwined under the sheets. It was down to the bare minimum…and after the night that signaled the removal of that last obstacle, they slept with the sheet between them, never completely pressed together.
It was starting to creep into their daytime routines as well. Moments of unusual awkwardness, touches lingering a little longer than usual, furtive glances accompanied by red faces…all were becoming the norm. And they weren’t arguing as much as they usually did, a sure sign of a problem.
But neither actively brought it up. Kazuha looked like she might say something a few times, and Heiji nearly exploded on one occasion…but she left the room, and he was able to clamp down tightly on himself before she came back. And so it was left in silence.
For every tense moment, there were still so many sweet moments. But it was becoming increasingly clear to both of them that things were building up to something, a potentially explosive head. It was just a matter of finding the spark that would set off the powder keg. And the resulting explosion could do just about anything, including destroy them.
It was only a matter of time.
-o-
The evening had started simply enough, with a perfectly innocent excursion to dinner. Nothing really out of the ordinary there. They went out with some regularity, as most couples did, and enjoyed their evenings out. While Kazuha was an amazing cook, and Heiji could manage when he felt like it, it was just nice to go out and let someone else prepare their meal now and then, or to do other things.
Tonight was a dinner night. And though neither of them were big drinkers, both enjoyed a few glasses of wine with their meal; there was no harm, as neither had to drive, and they had no intention of going overboard. By the time they caught a cab and headed back to their apartment building, both were feeling warm, fuzzy, and very cheerful.
They made it into their building and all the way to their apartment itself without difficulty or incident. Once safely inside, Kazuha kicked off her shoes, not bothering to leave them in any order. “So!” she bubbled, beaming. “Th’ night is still young! Whatcha wanna do?”
Heiji shed his own shoes in the same haphazard fashion, and also took the time to remove his jacket; he dropped this carelessly to the floor and waved a hand at her. “Why’re you still wearin’ yer jacket?” He reached out and caught her shoulders in both hands. “Ahou…” The old nickname rolled easily off his tongue in a habitual act as he tugged at her jacket, unsure as to why it was bothering him that she was still wearing it. “S’after eleven. Not young anymore.”
…it actually bothered him, on some level, that she was wearing anything, really…
She leaned against him with a grin. “You silly.”
And she kissed him as her jacket slid back off her arms and dropped to the floor at her feet.
There was a flicker of memory, of something painful from another night in what felt like another time. But it was lost in what was happening now, a far more pleasant, enticing distraction with none of the accompanying guilt, anguish, or distaste of that awful memory.
Their arms were around each other, already engaged in innocent exploration, and they were moving away from the front door in search of more comfortable quarters. They paused by the door to his bedroom, and he felt her tense in his arms as though she were thinking about some other possibilities…
And then she tugged on him, pulling him away from the bedroom and pressing his back to the wall instead. In his mind, it was tantamount to a silent indication of what she was thinking and what she wanted: Not that. Not now. Not yet. And he was perfectly fine with that.
There wasn’t much time to catch his breath before her lips were against his against, hands grazing over his arms and chest in innocent exploration. And he had lost much control over his own hands and his own wandering touches. He might have said her name. He wasn’t sure. If he did, it was lost in a press of lips that was growing more and more insistent with each passing second.
…eh, thinking was highly overrated.
When he wasn’t on a case, anyway.
In the meantime, the kisses grew more desperate and more heated. He was tasting her and touching her, finally daring to let things get a little more bold. His hands started to brush over more intimate places. Their unusual sleeping arrangements meant that he was just starting to learn the path of her body, but he was willing and eager to figure it out.
Kazuha wasn’t protesting, but pressing harder and making little noises into his mouth.
Emboldened by her actions and the hazy cloud of arousal, he moved his hands, feeling breasts that moved beneath his hands and hearing her moan in response and the whole thing was so amazing…
Suddenly Kazuha jerked back and looked at Heiji with wide eyes. Startled (and a little disappointed) at the sudden end to the very pleasing kiss, Heiji blinked back at her through eyes that had gone glassy with desire. “K-Kazuha…?” He was alarmed at the look in her green eyes, the look of panic and fear and unmistakable arousal. She should never wear that kind of expression…
She eased back, out of his arms, and wrapped her arms around herself. “I think…” she paused, then cleared her throat to try and make some of the hoarseness go away, “I think I need to go to bed.” She moved backwards, towards her own room. “Need to sleep…” Her breathing came in little pants, her face red, and her wide eyes never leaving his face. “I-good night.”
With those two last, rushed words, she stepped backwards into the darkness of her own bedroom and quickly closed the door behind her. Heiji was left alone, leaning heavily against the wall, staring at the closed door and realizing that he had probably just done something very, very wrong.
It took him a few moments to make his wobbly knees cooperate, but he managed to make it back into his own room, where he sat down on the bed and stared at the floor. It felt strange to be alone in his room like this at night…
After a while, he got up and fumbled through the darkness until he found pajamas. Once he was changed for bed, he crawled under the blankets and lay there, staring at the ceiling and trying to sleep. But try as he might, sleep was not coming. He couldn’t sleep without Kazuha’s warmth on the other side of the bed and her steady breathing in his ear.
…he’d messed up big time, hadn’t he?
For what seemed like hours, he just gazed up at the moonlight-touched darkness and thought about everything. He really had started this all because he couldn’t keep his imagination in check, and dropped that little bug in her ear, mentioning how much he wanted to wake up to her. And now they were stuck in this game with rules he hadn’t quite been able to grasp.
Why couldn’t he have just taken the damn risk and said straight-up that he’d been thinking about sex and wanted to know where the boundaries were?
The next time he turned his head and glanced at the clock, he was stunned to see that it was just past two-thirty in the morning. How had so much time gone past so quickly? He really needed to get to sleep and let tomorrow bring what it would. Too bad he couldn’t doze off without…
…her…?
Was his door opening?
Heiji sat up in bed. “Kazuha?”
“Hey…” she murmured. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah…”
She slipped through the door and closed it behind her. “I can’t sleep,” she said.
“Me neither,” he managed a chuckle and admitted, “I think I got too used to you being with me.”
“Same here,” she laughed lightly in return, walking slowly towards the bed. “I couldn’t fall asleep by myself. So I thought I’d come in here and see if you were awake.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Hey…I’m sorry about what happened before. Even though I probably shouldn’t be. I’m well within my rights to not want to…” She stopped herself there, and fell silent.
There was a moment of silence between them before Heiji broke it. “Kazuha, I wanted to ask-“
“Sex, right?”
“…yeah.”
To his surprise, she chuckled. “I thought so.” She sat down on the edge of the bed; in the dim light, he could see that she was wearing a camisole and pants. The moonlight still had that extraordinary affect on her pale skin. She was beautiful.
But the silence that fell then was thick and heavy.
“You know…” Kazuha said after that moment of quiet. “I won’t run away just because you ask me something. I’ll be honest. But I won’t run.” She sighed. “To be honest, I’ve been thinking a lot lately…”
“About what?”
She looked out towards the window. “This whole thing…what happened before, our whole relationship since I came back, what’s happening now…I’m being selfish. I’ve been selfish about everything. And maybe it’s time that I stop being so self-centered and start thinking beyond that.” She sighed. “This isn’t just about me. It’s about you too.”
“Kazuha-“
“What do you want, Heiji? Please be honest.”
“…I don’t know anymore,” he sighed, startled to realize that it was the truth. He knew what he ultimately would like, but at the same time he didn’t know if he really wanted it to happen. Still, he wasn’t going to let it go like that. “What do you want?”
“I want to wake up the next morning and not be alone in bed,” she said softly. “That’s what happened before. I don’t want to go through that again. It’s lonely.” She finally turned to look at him. “Heiji, I want you. Lord knows we’ve been together long enough. But…”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “There’s always a but, isn’t there?”
“Always.”
“Well…I can promise that I’ll be there in the morning,” he said softly. “Just like I’ve been every other morning.” He leaned his head back against the headboard. “Look, I think we’re both too worked up to really make a decision right now. So…maybe we should go to sleep.”
She nodded and started to stand, then hesitated.
Before she even opened her mouth to ask, Heiji nodded. “You can stay in here if you want. I’d actually be grateful. I can’t sleep without you breathing in my ear.” As she silently crawled into bed, he couldn’t help but add, “You sound like Darth Vader.”
That got a favorable reaction, in the sense that she seemed annoyed. “Oh, shut up.”
She did curl up next to him, though, and dozed off in record time, finally comfortable.
-o-
Who are you…?
She was being pushed down by something, someone…pushing her back against a hard surface and pressing against her, into her. It hurt. It hurt so much, and it was so cold and unfeeling, but she couldn’t make a sound. She couldn’t even scream.
Let me go…please let me go…
It didn’t stop.
I don’t want that…
Her voice broke, and so too did the scream that had been stuck painfully in her throat. And she tore away, unsure of how she did so, and fell, pulling her knees up to her bare chest and curling up as tightly as possible. She was naked and alone, and felt so awful, so dirty…
I’m not yours…
She lay there, shivering, for a moment before she felt another touch. Where the first touches had been painful, this was soothing. The earlier ones had been cold; this was warm and comforting, and she wanted more of it. She reached for that hand, drawing it to her.
I’m yours…
And she pulled that warmth to her, holding on tightly and noticing that the skin of that hand was so much darker than her own.
I want you…
-o-
Kazuha opened her eyes with a jolt and sat up in bed, both hands clutching at her throat as she tried desperately to breathe. She felt strange, hot and cold at the same time, and terribly shaky.
There was a groan beside her, followed by movement and a tugging at the sheets, and then Heiji sat up as well. “You okay?” he asked, concern in his voice and face. He touched her shoulder.
…it was warm.
She looked at him through the darkness for a moment before she reached out and grabbed him, pushing him back against the green and white sheets with a kiss that started out sweet and chaste, but did not stay that way for long.
The kiss broke, and Heiji panted out her name. “K-Kazuha…?”
She swallowed hard to steel her nerve and chase away those last few nagging doubts, and smiled, again lowering her lips to his as she murmured two words: “Be gentle…”
There was a beat before he started moving, and judging by his actions, he understood.
It was like the last several weeks of patience and taking their time had just played back on quadruple speed. They pulled at each other’s clothes, tossing the offending garments aside without any need to hide from each other. It was fast and desperate, and she moaned as he immediately started searching her for sensitive spots. Before long, he was growling and she was tugging at him, trying to make him understand what her failing voice couldn’t seem to say.
From there, everything happened very, very quickly. He fumbled with the nightstand drawer for a moment and produced a small package. She knew what it was-had he really been planning this? Or was it a ‘just in case’ sort of thing?
…now was really not the time to be asking, she decided, and helped him take care of that, kissing the hell out of him as her hands figured out the intricacies of the thing. Once it was done, he rolled over and pulled her on top of him.
Message received, loud and clear.
There was no patience anymore. They wanted it, and they wanted it now.
Still, she hesitated and took one last breath before she dropped down and took him into her.
…it hurt more than she thought it would. But she had only done this once before, and it had been a while. She was still, hands clenching on his stomach as she adjusted to the feeling. Heiji’s hands clutched at her hips; she could feel him shaking as he fought to keep himself still.
After a moment, she nodded, and they started to move against each other; he gripped her waist to pull her against him until they finally found a steady rhythm. Soon the dark air around them was filled with small sounds as they lost themselves in everything.
It felt good, but she did not climax that first time. Still, she felt him and waited while he rode it out. She assured him that it was all right, not to worry, but he got that determined look on his face (the one that meant he had made up his mind about something) before he flipped her down and pulled on her legs, tugging her down to the bed, and lowering his head.
Kazuha didn’t know where he had picked that particular trick up, but she arched her back, her fingers clutching helplessly at his hair as he teased her to the brink. She saw white and heard fireworks before she slumped back against the sheets, spent and breathless. His weight shifted over her once more, pressing back against her, and she turned her head to find his lips and kiss him with all the energy she could muster up.
After a moment, she felt him move, and wondered where he was going. But he whispered a suggestion to her, his voice warm in her ear. She nodded and let him actually pick her up and carry her out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where she was finally able to make her legs cooperate and support her weight. He turned on the water and pulled her under the spray, tugging the curtain behind her.
“Why did you close that?” she asked softly. It was a silly question to ask, but she had to ask it anyway.
“Just…felt weird to have it open,” he murmured back. His fingers were dragging through the full length of her messy hair, combing the warm water through it. That was good enough for her.
There didn’t seem to be any immediate need for actual sex, but there was plenty of want for touches, gentle and innocent and sweet and exploring as the water joined with their hands to wash away the traces of sweat and the smell of sex.
She let Heiji wash her hair. He very shyly asked if he could, and she found it strangely sweet, and so she said yes. She turned her back to him, and closed her eyes as his soapy fingers began working their way through her hair, massaging her scalp from the top of her head down to her neck. It felt nice, calming, and intimate without being erotic. It went on far longer than it needed to, but she had no complaints.
When he was done, Kazuha returned the favor. He had to kneel so she could reach, being just tall enough that she couldn’t do it comfortably while he was standing. She felt a flicker of embarrassment, but he simply leaned his forehead against her stomach and sighed happily as she went about it.
They stayed in there until the water started to run cold. When they finally stepped out of the shower, Kazuha couldn’t quite keep herself from rubbing the towel all over his head to help dry his hair, earning a squawk from her lover. He responded by chasing her back to the bedroom, trying to get a grip on the towel she had wrapped around her torso and tug it away.
It wasn’t until they were back in bed that they both realized exactly how exhausted they really were. Heiji did manage to finally pull her towel away. Kazuha barely had enough energy left to curl up against him and mumble a goodnight and a ‘love you’ before she fell asleep, feeling tired and safe and happy.
-o-
When Kazuha next became aware of the world, it was a great deal brighter. Without even opening her eyes, she was conscious of the fact that there was sunlight streaming in through the window, and the day was well upon them. She wondered what time it was.
It had certainly been an eventful night, to say the least.
She stretched out, remembering the events of the early morning hours; even the feel of muscles stretching in protest after engaging in an activity that they were definitely not accustomed to couldn’t keep the smile from her face. She and Heiji had…
Wow…
They were finally…
This was easily the happiest Kazuha had ever been.
She rolled over, reaching her arms out with every intention of snuggling up to Heiji and wasting a few more moments of the day like that before she felt her usual sense of cosmic obligation to get up and do something productive with whatever was left of her day. She could smell his scent on the bedding…
But she immediately realized that something was wrong when her hands fell on empty sheets.
The other side of the bed was empty.
Suddenly, Kazuha was wide awake, and all of the warm, happy feelings she had been enjoying vanished. She sat up, clutching the blanket around her bare torso as she glanced around the room, but to no avail.
Heiji wasn’t there.
She went cold inside, remembering what they had talked about the night before. Her biggest fear was that history would repeat itself, that she would wake up alone in the morning and find him gone. He had sworn up and down that he would never do that to her, and she had believed him. She had no reason to doubt him, no reason at all…
So why was she alone?
Unbidden tears sprang to her eyes, and her shoulders started to shake. He wouldn’t…Heiji didn’t…
And then she heard a sound through the wall that told her everything she needed to know. She stared at the wall for a moment, listening to that sound, and then hearing footsteps padding back towards the bedroom. Making a quick decision, she burrowed back under the blankets, trying to give the illusion that she was still sound asleep.
The footsteps moved softly across the room and stopped by the bed. There was a pause, and then Heiji spoke, his voice laden with irony: “…I get out of bed for ten seconds to go use the bathroom, and that’s when you finally decide to wake up?”
He wasn’t fooled. She opened her eyes, and that loosed the floodgates as the tears that had already gathered rolled down her face. “I woke up and you weren’t there…” It wasn’t an accusation, but a statement of a fact that had left her terrified.
Arms were around her in an instant. “I’m sorry,” he sounded like he was torn between worry and chuckling. When she looked up, his green eyes (she loved his eyes, and that shade of green was her favorite color simply because it was the color of his eyes) were watching her closely.
Kazuha shook her head. “No…I overreacted.” She wrapped her arms around him and flopped back to the bed, pulling him down next to her and curling up to him. “I just panicked. I trust you. Just…gave me a little bit of a heart attack, you know? But I’m not angry, it’s okay.” To prove her point, she arched up a bit and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.
Heiji reached down and pulled the green and white bedding up around them before settling in. “I probably shouldn’t have done that with the blankets, should I?” he chuckled as he got comfortable. “We’re not going to move for the rest of the day, are we?”
“Hmm, you know I can’t be completely lazy all day,” she replied, closing her eyes. “Give me a little while longer, and then I’ll be ready to face the day. Besides,” she nudged him with her elbow, “I know how grouchy you get when you try to ignore your stomach. Not a pretty sight.”
“Ahou!” he shot back automatically.
“Not my fault you’re a black hole on legs.”
“You don’t have to rub it in.”
“Yes, I do.”
It was like nothing had changed at all, really. They were poking and prodding and bickering just like they always had; they certainly didn’t look different, if a bit mussed for a lack of grooming. The only differences were the way he held her a bit closer and a bit more tightly than he ever had before…and the fact that they were pressed together skin to skin, naked and exposed and unashamed of either fact.
But in short order, the argument gave way to some very pleasant kisses.
After a while, Kazuha sat up and reached down, fumbling around on the floor for something to wear. “I am going to make breakfast,” she announced, finally getting a hand on a shirt. She lifted it, and found that it was Heiji’s, but she still yanked it over her head. It was huge, and when she stood the hem hung halfway down her thighs.
Heiji looked disappointed, but she was firm. “Get up soon, or you’re fixing your own breakfast.”
-o-
When evening came, Heiji wondered what would happen. Would there be a repeat of the glorious night before? Would she even want to sleep in the same bed? He waited until he saw her yawn for the third time before he spoke up. “Hey, Kazuha…”
“Hmm, I think I’m going to head to bed,” she said, rising to her feet. Before he could asked the question, she added, “I think I’m going to sleep in my own room tonight.”
Heiji couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed, but he simply nodded and wished her a good night.
Kazuha stretched her arms over her head and started towards the door to her bedroom. She paused there, though, and glanced back over her shoulder. “Where are you going to sleep tonight?”
“…huh?”
She smiled. “Where are you going to sleep tonight, Heiji?”
It took him a moment to realize what she actually meant. In the second it took him to process the full implications, she had vanished into her room, leaving the door wide open in a silent, encouraging addition to her verbal invitation.
Smiling to himself, Heiji made sure all the lights were off in the apartment before he headed into her room, closing the door behind him to shut them both in for the night.
PS. Let it be known that I SUCK AT WRITING SMUT. But I tried, and that’s what counts, amirite? Whew…this one took a while, all eight thousand words of it XD But it marks the seventy-fifth story in this challenge. I am now three-fourths of the way done with fanfic100. WHOO! Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!