The Meat Eater's Speech (658 words)

[candychic125]

Live Journal has been working on and off all week.  I went to do my freewrite today and I couldn't get the the journal entry with my prompts in it.  So, I went to the kitched to eat a small breakfast and I looked around.  I saw a cookbook and it reminded me that my sister requested that I write something inspired by mangetout.  So here it is.  It's

Comments

[candychic125]

My mom called me today. She was like, "Candace has got to be kidding. Is she really writing a cookbook?" I had to remind her that all of the stories are fiction!! I think that's great that she said this, though, becausee it means the voice of the narrator sounds authentic. A lot of people have said that about this piece. She told me that "the man with the sinus problem" grossed her out too much to keep reading, lol.

There's a couple of wordy sentences and repetitive things that I would like to snip out. Could also benefit from more transitions...

That's a good point about tofu. I think I've only ever had the marinated tofu once. I could really tell the difference. But for the sake of this piece, the kind of reader the narrator is supposed to be addressing probably doesn't want to marinate something over night when they're hungry that day, lol.

Thanks for clearing up the tagliatelle! That sounds complicated, lol XD Actually, it sounds like the kind of thing you'd only find at a restaurant or a food nut's place where they can spend all day making these sorts of things before they go bad. That's a good jumping point that can be elaborated, so its good that you mentioned it. The "what the hell are these words" section could be expanded more.

If you're refering to the large machine that sits in your kitchen were you keep food and drinks, its the refrigerator, by the way. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=&=&q=refrigerator&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=80l2278l0l3258l11l7l0l2l2l0l396l1010l1.2.1.1l5&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&biw=1613&bih=726 This thing, right?

[palemoonsdream]

„She was like, "Candace has got to be kidding. Is she really writing a cookbook?" I had to remind her that all of the stories are fiction!! I think that's great that she said this, though, becausee it means the voice of the narrator sounds authentic.“

It IS very authentic indeed! I even had to check back to see if it's a writing or a regular post of yours … the style of the narrator got me curious, since it's not „your“ style, I mean, not the style you would have written it for yourself if that would have been your intention. If you know what I mean. But it's really nice! Consider a cookbo .. no, not a cookbook. A commentary about food and eating, that would be fun to read! Even as a short-story! :)

„Thanks for clearing up the tagliatelle! That sounds complicated, lol XD Actually, it sounds like the kind of thing you'd only find at a restaurant or a food nut's place where they can spend all day making these sorts of things before they go bad.“

Actually you can buy tagliatelle in nearly every supermarked with a refrigerator around here. Check them out some time when you're around Europe, it's worth it! Isn't that expensive too, maybe 4 Dollars for 500 gram?

„If you're refering to the large machine that sits in your kitchen were you keep food and drinks, its the refrigerator, by the way. This thing, right?“

Refrigerator is right, yes! Thank you very much!

[candychic125]

Thanks a bunch :D Yeah, to people who talk to me regularly, you would be able to tell right away that's not how I usually talk. I know one of my strengths is that my narrators themselves are usually interesting characters with voices distinct from my own. I don't get why I can't take that same talent and apply it to dialogue. I suck at dialogue >.<

Yes! Thank you for that idea. I think I will expand this and make a commentary on food and eating in general. It would be quite humorous.

[palemoonsdream]

Well, talking to you regulary would be quite complicated I think. At least as long as I don't get to be incredibly rich :P ... I guess when it comes to dialogue it's simply training. Because one dislikes to write them (since one "sucks") one tries to write the least possibly amount, and thereby one doesn't get training. Just as a suggestion for one of your next short storys: Do something like "waiting for godot", just a bunch of people talking to each other. Just as training. You'll get feedback on the dialogue, and if it's crap, no publisher will kill you for it :D

Looking forward to your commentary on food, I can imagine it to turn out really entertaining since you've got a bit of a comedian in you! ... ehm, psychically, I mean .. *cough*