The Meat Eater's Speech (658 words)
Live Journal has been working on and off all week. I went to do my freewrite today and I couldn't get the the journal entry with my prompts in it. So, I went to the kitched to eat a small breakfast and I looked around. I saw a cookbook and it reminded me that my sister requested that I write something inspired by mangetout. So here it is. It's kind of humorous. The language needs to be tightened up and I can already see where I want to change a few things. I really like it, I hope you get a kick out of it.
Enjoy! Please comment!
I love meat. I’m sorry, I do. I’ll eat up that little piggy and chop up that chicken into my food. I like the way it tastes, it’s just the way I am. I can digest it, so I’m going to eat it. That being said, I find that a lot of meat eater’s dishes neglect vegetables. They throw them aside with some “pan drippings” drizzled over them, or they get shoved to the side of the plate, steamed, raw, mashed, and without a lick of seasoning on them save for some butter and garlic. Even worse! They just toss them together in a bowl, call it a salad, and force you to cover it up in a high calorie dressing while you suffer it down to keep the hunger at bay until the “real” food comes out.
I think that’s bullshit. We need to think more like vegetarians. The answer to making vegetables tolerable is not to just deep fry them, cover them in chocolate, or wrap them in a strip of bacon and dunk it in some cheese. Vegetarians take time to play with flavors and draw influences from cuisine all over the world. I mean, have you actually tried curry? Seriously? A lot of dishes can be like that. One time I had red beans and bananas over rice in a coconut sauce and I loved it.
The best part about that is I don’t actually like any of those ingredients on their own! Well, I like bananas, but I never used to eat rice. I hated it. It used to just sit in a little pile on the side of my plate and I’d have to choke it down with a sour expression if I wanted any dessert. That’s the thing! It doesn’t have to be like that. Vegetarians use all sorts of pastas, rices, breads, quinoa and shit and you can actually eat it along with your food, and it will pick up the flavor.
I still hate tofu and I’m not going to apologize for that. I keep trying it and it sucks every time. Sometimes it’s a hit or miss for us carnivores. Let me warn you, I stay away from too many beans. It’s easy to over-fiber on a veggie diet and your ass will be glued to the toilet. For days. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve bitten into like a squash or something squishy and green and I felt like I would have been better off going outside and munching on some grass. At least I wouldn’t have to pay for it!
Speaking of keeping costs down, though, a couple of years back I decided to go to the bookstore. I took a whole bunch of vegetarian cook books off the shelves, rolled up my sleeves and dove right into it. I didn’t even understand half of the words! It took me four days to realize that green onions, spring onions, and scallions were all the same damn thing. I walked past the cilantro in the supermarket a thousand times trying to find coriander. I even had to consult my trusty Wikipedia to figure out what a mangetout was. And what the hell is tagliatelle? I couldn’t even find it in my pasta aisle!
That’s the real reason why I made this cook book. “Vegetables for the Rest of Us.” I didn’t forget about the meat, folks, and if you’re eco conscious, you probably buy local from free range farms and all of that. That’s fantastic, more power to you. It’s fresher that way. I put all the ingredients in plain English for you. I included cooking times, even what pans you need before you start cooking.
Come on meat heads. Be a veg head. Buy this book. Cook for yourself. It’ll save you money in the long run. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Enjoy! Please comment!
I love meat. I’m sorry, I do. I’ll eat up that little piggy and chop up that chicken into my food. I like the way it tastes, it’s just the way I am. I can digest it, so I’m going to eat it. That being said, I find that a lot of meat eater’s dishes neglect vegetables. They throw them aside with some “pan drippings” drizzled over them, or they get shoved to the side of the plate, steamed, raw, mashed, and without a lick of seasoning on them save for some butter and garlic. Even worse! They just toss them together in a bowl, call it a salad, and force you to cover it up in a high calorie dressing while you suffer it down to keep the hunger at bay until the “real” food comes out.
I think that’s bullshit. We need to think more like vegetarians. The answer to making vegetables tolerable is not to just deep fry them, cover them in chocolate, or wrap them in a strip of bacon and dunk it in some cheese. Vegetarians take time to play with flavors and draw influences from cuisine all over the world. I mean, have you actually tried curry? Seriously? A lot of dishes can be like that. One time I had red beans and bananas over rice in a coconut sauce and I loved it.
The best part about that is I don’t actually like any of those ingredients on their own! Well, I like bananas, but I never used to eat rice. I hated it. It used to just sit in a little pile on the side of my plate and I’d have to choke it down with a sour expression if I wanted any dessert. That’s the thing! It doesn’t have to be like that. Vegetarians use all sorts of pastas, rices, breads, quinoa and shit and you can actually eat it along with your food, and it will pick up the flavor.
I still hate tofu and I’m not going to apologize for that. I keep trying it and it sucks every time. Sometimes it’s a hit or miss for us carnivores. Let me warn you, I stay away from too many beans. It’s easy to over-fiber on a veggie diet and your ass will be glued to the toilet. For days. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve bitten into like a squash or something squishy and green and I felt like I would have been better off going outside and munching on some grass. At least I wouldn’t have to pay for it!
Speaking of keeping costs down, though, a couple of years back I decided to go to the bookstore. I took a whole bunch of vegetarian cook books off the shelves, rolled up my sleeves and dove right into it. I didn’t even understand half of the words! It took me four days to realize that green onions, spring onions, and scallions were all the same damn thing. I walked past the cilantro in the supermarket a thousand times trying to find coriander. I even had to consult my trusty Wikipedia to figure out what a mangetout was. And what the hell is tagliatelle? I couldn’t even find it in my pasta aisle!
That’s the real reason why I made this cook book. “Vegetables for the Rest of Us.” I didn’t forget about the meat, folks, and if you’re eco conscious, you probably buy local from free range farms and all of that. That’s fantastic, more power to you. It’s fresher that way. I put all the ingredients in plain English for you. I included cooking times, even what pans you need before you start cooking.
Come on meat heads. Be a veg head. Buy this book. Cook for yourself. It’ll save you money in the long run. Trust me, you won’t regret it.