"I've never been able to keep any of the people I've loved," Sam told him. "You really think I'd let you go too?"
Dean blinked. A knot came free in his chest, sudden and smooth and he drew in a quick surprised breath. He stared up at his brother, Sam who had been totalled and rebuilt, Sam who had gone to hell and brought back new demons for them both, and Dean found it hard to fathom him. There was this kid he'd grown up alongside, tagging along and pestering Dean and crawling in his bed after nightmares and during thunderstorms, and Dean couldn't see any traces of him here, the sweet solemn boy who ran away for fun and had maybe never made it all the way home.
That's amazingly gorgeous, utterly aching with love and need and bewildered amazement. His whole life centered on this one thing, on person, who's hurt him more than anyone else, ever. So damn perfect and hurtful and you know...i'm kinda there with Dean. Something awful.
'love of his life', indeed.
*if this ends on an awful, sorrowful note...i may just die a little.*
His whole life centered on this one thing, on person, who's hurt him more than anyone else, ever.
this is why it's not as depressing an ending as it seems! because they're both still alive, and no longer actively engaged in killing each other slowly. the trouble is, dean would rather sam kill him than live without him, which is sad for us all.
I hope, even if he can see disaster round every corner, that he's wrong and this works for him. That he and Sammy can be happy. And, even if they can't hang around home - maybe they can take off in the impala and go on a roadtrip. Or move to a place where noone knows they're brothers.
kinda love that your comment is right in line with what sam asks of dean in the end. so prescient! and yet depressing, i know.
that thing about dean never getting a break i think is the general premise of the whole damn show.
Ahhh. I want to stop reading right now because I KNOW your writing and I KNOW this can't end with kisses that taste like oranges. lkdsajflkadjflkajdsfl.
For the record - I know you get a lot of whiny comments - I love that you take the story where it needs to go, regardless of whether that's a really dark place.
i know, right! i totally appreciate that people are hella bummed out (that being the intention and all), but i kinda want to be, have you seen the show. because really. this is some dark shit up in here.
Re: there will be a daycandle_beckDecember 11 2008, 22:05:33 UTC
hoo! great comment, as usual. and sam dying in a car crash, that would not have been totally out of the blue. the way it builds, if i hadn't been working off the song, random tragic death would probably have been the most likely ending. although, i am usually against deathfic, so maybe not.
Dude, I've had this bookmarked forever and I'm finally getting around to reading it.
Just to get the shallow out of the way, imagining Bobby saying "Sergeant Winchester..." kind of does things to me.
But wow, I love this, as bad as it hurts. I can see how even though Sam and Dean are very different from the ones we know in some ways, they're the same in a lot of others. A lot has been said about what Dean would have become without the hunt to define him, give him a higher purpose, but not as much about where that would leave Sam. This take on it interests me greatly.
yeah, you know, springsteen provided most of the plot, but i figured for all the emotional stuff, let's just take away the only thing that gives them direction and purpose. and you know, i think you're on to something with sam there, because i think it's completely plausible that he would be even worse affected by not having the hunt. because dean can always take one of the twenty regular jobs where you save people, but poor sammy, all that anger and nowhere to go.
Comments 16
Dean blinked. A knot came free in his chest, sudden and smooth and he drew in a quick surprised breath. He stared up at his brother, Sam who had been totalled and rebuilt, Sam who had gone to hell and brought back new demons for them both, and Dean found it hard to fathom him. There was this kid he'd grown up alongside, tagging along and pestering Dean and crawling in his bed after nightmares and during thunderstorms, and Dean couldn't see any traces of him here, the sweet solemn boy who ran away for fun and had maybe never made it all the way home.
That's amazingly gorgeous, utterly aching with love and need and bewildered amazement. His whole life centered on this one thing, on person, who's hurt him more than anyone else, ever. So damn perfect and hurtful and you know...i'm kinda there with Dean. Something awful.
'love of his life', indeed.
*if this ends on an awful, sorrowful note...i may just die a little.*
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
this is why it's not as depressing an ending as it seems! because they're both still alive, and no longer actively engaged in killing each other slowly. the trouble is, dean would rather sam kill him than live without him, which is sad for us all.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
kinda love that your comment is right in line with what sam asks of dean in the end. so prescient! and yet depressing, i know.
that thing about dean never getting a break i think is the general premise of the whole damn show.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
kid, you know you are a star.
Reply
Just to get the shallow out of the way, imagining Bobby saying "Sergeant Winchester..." kind of does things to me.
But wow, I love this, as bad as it hurts. I can see how even though Sam and Dean are very different from the ones we know in some ways, they're the same in a lot of others. A lot has been said about what Dean would have become without the hunt to define him, give him a higher purpose, but not as much about where that would leave Sam. This take on it interests me greatly.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment