thanks again, some more, for your thoughts on this part. you've picked out a lot of really interesting stuff (i always like seeing which lines get which kind of reactions out of people).
i used to work at an educational center for kids and i would always tell them to go wash their face when they were freakin out. for some reason it's harder to keep crying once you've washed your face.
not sure if you couldn't find teh ww stories in my memories, or didn't want to deal with my total lack of organization/non-obscure summaries (completely valid!), but here ya go:
Wow. I don't even know where to start. One place would be how they are so much less separately than together, not just emotionally, but on the job, like two halves of a whole.
This is heartwrenching:
There’s a low ache in Dean’s stomach, a sad and constant want. He’d give just about anything to be allowed to fuck his brother.
Amazing image here, one every parent knows, and Dean does have that aspect to him...
Dean remembers, suddenly and starkly, falling asleep on couches when he was eight or nine and waking up with a Sammy blanket, the simple weight of a chest breathing flatly against his own.
...which is one reason why Dean feeling so guilty and responsible for the situation they're in makes so much sense.
I think this says something interesting about Sam's character which is often overlooked...
“So,” Sam says slow. “What’re we gonna do about that
( ... )
yes, you have hit it exactly. sam doesn't want to be dean's sole reason for existing and vice versa, and it's obvious that's where this kind of thing is heading. it's irreconcilable.
Holy shit, you write this tortured beautiful relationship perfectly. God, I thought my heart was going to break at the scene outside the “wounded church”. Your characterisation of the boys is about the best I’ve read in the fandom…and you’ve only seen the first season once?! They’re so layered and complex, true to canon but deeper, more real somehow. I love the dream device, the effect is magical here at the end. Your style is so dense with figurative symbolism. Your description of this love between them as “the kind of love men fight crusades for” and then “His love for Dean has become a photo negative, an articulation of empty space.” Wow.
hey thanks so much. really nice of you to say. and yes, at this point i am caught up through the fourth season (only one or two eps behind now), and i do plan at some point to write stuff that has something to do with the episodes, but yes. this was an awesome comment and i very much so appreciate it.
Sam moans. “Jesus, Dean, you already have almost everything. This thing, it, it’s too much. It’s asking for too much.”
I am an avid Sam/Dean worshippper but here, here you get me. Because yeah everyone says Dean gave everything up for Sam and lives for Sam and people seem to be under the impression that the least Sam could do at this piont is to love Dean back, and yeah, I love Sam/Dean but I love here how it's not about Sam not loving Dean back (really, I don't think it ever was and ever will be) or about it being morally wrong or the incest.
It's about how you already have almost everything (of me). It’s asking for too much. Dean loves Sam and Sam loves Dean but this isn't small or rose-colored or happily-ever-hunting-after. This is about breaking down the last, last wall and letting the person who's already always beside you, going through life big things and small things and change-the-world things and small-everyday-things with you, to be in you. It's asking to be Sam(Dean)/Dean(Sam) than SamandDean/DeanandSam
( ... )
so apparently i never responded to your amazingly kind and well-composed comment and for that i am shamed. but, kid, honestly, this was one of the nicer things anyone has written me, because you nailed it. love has nothing to do with it. never did.
dean doesn't have any self-esteem anyway, so of course he would take all of sam, every molecule of him. and sam would eventually find that he could no longer breathe without his brother, and who wants to live like that. (not counting dean. dean=exception to every rule.)
this is morbid, but the metaphor that comes to mind is chang and eng bunker, the conjoined twins from whence the term 'siamese twins' came, and how when they were sixty-three, chang died first and an hour later eng followed. but what about that hour? you are attached to your brother and your brother has just died. i forget where i read it, but somebody speculated that eng didn't die naturally. he died of heartbreak. of terror.
i think sam's trying not to end up like that. it's all terribly depressing.
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i used to work at an educational center for kids and i would always tell them to go wash their face when they were freakin out. for some reason it's harder to keep crying once you've washed your face.
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(The comment has been removed)
west wing slash
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This is heartwrenching:
There’s a low ache in Dean’s stomach, a sad and constant want. He’d give just about anything to be allowed to fuck his brother.
Amazing image here, one every parent knows, and Dean does have that aspect to him...
Dean remembers, suddenly and starkly, falling asleep on couches when he was eight or nine and waking up with a Sammy blanket, the simple weight of a chest breathing flatly against his own.
...which is one reason why Dean feeling so guilty and responsible for the situation they're in makes so much sense.
I think this says something interesting about Sam's character which is often overlooked...
“So,” Sam says slow. “What’re we gonna do about that ( ... )
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really really appreciate the note.
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Plus, it's making me stay up past my bedtime.
You and your beautiful freaking excruciating story. Bah.
I'm friending you.
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I am an avid Sam/Dean worshippper but here, here you get me. Because yeah everyone says Dean gave everything up for Sam and lives for Sam and people seem to be under the impression that the least Sam could do at this piont is to love Dean back, and yeah, I love Sam/Dean but I love here how it's not about Sam not loving Dean back (really, I don't think it ever was and ever will be) or about it being morally wrong or the incest.
It's about how you already have almost everything (of me). It’s asking for too much. Dean loves Sam and Sam loves Dean but this isn't small or rose-colored or happily-ever-hunting-after. This is about breaking down the last, last wall and letting the person who's already always beside you, going through life big things and small things and change-the-world things and small-everyday-things with you, to be in you. It's asking to be Sam(Dean)/Dean(Sam) than SamandDean/DeanandSam ( ... )
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dean doesn't have any self-esteem anyway, so of course he would take all of sam, every molecule of him. and sam would eventually find that he could no longer breathe without his brother, and who wants to live like that. (not counting dean. dean=exception to every rule.)
this is morbid, but the metaphor that comes to mind is chang and eng bunker, the conjoined twins from whence the term 'siamese twins' came, and how when they were sixty-three, chang died first and an hour later eng followed. but what about that hour? you are attached to your brother and your brother has just died. i forget where i read it, but somebody speculated that eng didn't die naturally. he died of heartbreak. of terror.
i think sam's trying not to end up like that. it's all terribly depressing.
Reply
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