you must be feeling this way
when we finally called it off, i have to admit it felt numb. i thought i would cry and get angry and lash out at you, but it scared me how solemn that particular event was. we were both calm, unfazed, even relaxed. we looked into each other's eyes and saw it -- acceptance. the both of us finally conceded to the fact that we had to give it up. not because all love was lost, but because love isn't enough to sustain whatever we had. there was a tinge of regret on my part. there was this nagging feeling on my mind. i should've given more, should've loved more, should've fought more. but what difference would it make knowing that it'll just prolong the agony?
never did i blame you, though. if there was anything i took from this experience, it was what you've taught me. you fixed me when i couldn't do it myself. in the aftermath, i ended up whole again -- but not without the fragmented edges that reminded me of what i need to do. i need to fix myself without you. there are things that i need to do by myself, and this is it. and maybe, just maybe, we will meet again someday, when i am unbroken and you have moved on. at that point, we could try to look in the same direction and realize that we've never truly ended. that the feelings we had for each other never disappeared but simply faded.