a few words about "proposition h8"
"Whether The State Should Sanction 'Gay Marriage'" is not one of the top 50 most pressing issues of our time. (In fact, it is probably not one of the top 1000, but I have trouble counting that high, so I can't be sure.) If you are going to whine, or protest, or armed-takeover Mormon temples, or carry humorless signs, or angrily call black people "niggers", please do so in service of one of the following more worthwhile causes:
(1) Ending the despicable "war on drugs"
(2) Ending the despicable "war on filesharing"
(3) Abolishing the despicable patent system
(4) Demanding that the Pink Pony bring back "recession-busting $5 table dances" (which featured prominently in their radio ads back in 1991)
(5) Allowing dental hygienists to clean teeth without dentist supervision
(6) Abolishing prescription requirements for pharmaceuticals
(7) Crushing the teachers unions
(8) Releasing "Night Stand with Dick Dietrick" on DVD
(9) No more bailouts
(10) Promulgating the truth that 9/11 was an inside job
(11) Fixing "Heroes" so that it stops sucking so much
(12) Bringing back the McRib DONE!
(13) Abolishing the Electrical College
(14) Releasing left-wing-activist cop-killers from jail
(15) Sticking up for Ezra Levant
(16) Insisting that "Guitar Hero: World Tour" and "Rock Band 2" play well with each others' peripherals
(17) Abolishing licensing requirements for hairdressing, hair-weaving, hair-beading, hair-lengthening, and medicine
(18) Rescuing Katie Holmes from the Scientologists
(19) Repealing Washington State's inhumane alien firearms licensing non-system
(20) Revoking Al Gore's Nobel "Peace" Prize
(21) Getting rid of the Americans with Disabilities Act
(22) Reuniting Winger DONE!
(23) Electing Ron Paul
(24) Getting Chris Hitchens his own TV show
(25) Instituting a college football playoff
(26) Getting "Son of the Beach on Hulu DONE! ("I'll get you in the end, Notch Johnson!" "No, The Bird, you're headed to prison, so you'll be the one getting it in the end.")
(27) Insisting that the incontrovertible fact of evolution be taught in public schools
(28) Making sure that Chelsea Clinton never gets her hands anywhere near the reins of power
(29) No new taxes
(30) No old taxes
(31) Convincing Guns N Roses to finally release "Chinese Democracy" DONE!
(32) Developing cheap, fuel-efficient auto-rickshaws for the Amrikan market
(33) Teaching economics to our children, so that one day everyone will be able to prove the First Fundamental Theorem
(34) Liberating the Atlas Shrugged movie from "development hell"
(35) Getting Led Zeppelin to give Bert Jansch credit for the arrangement of "Black Mountain Side"
(36) Figuring out how to get YouTube to stop thinking I'm in India
(37) Lobbying Bill Cosby to bring JELL-O Pudding Pops back to the market
(38) Eradicating tropical diseases
(39) Encouraging Mormons to write more books about teen/vampire romances, Bean, and Allomancers
(40) Tarring and feathering Nathan Myhrvold
(41) Popularizing the theories of Mencius Moldbug
(42) Preventing the reinstatement of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban (at least until such time as I have stocked up on assault weapons at non-gouge prices)
(43) Promoting "fareology" (and, if there's time, also "vibeology") as legitimate academic disciplines
(44) Encouraging me to finish my anti-religious magnum opus
(45) Developing wildly-creative regional film industries like they have in India
(46) Eliminating the stigma on pejorative non-sexualized usage of the word "gay"
(47) Supporting the rights of hall-of-fame ballplayers to have their heads cryogenically frozen after retirement
(48) Putting "The Simpsons" out of their misery
(49) Boycotting Dominos and Pizza Hut and Papa John's and Round Table
(50) Giving some sort of lifetime "outstanding achievement in the field of excellence" award to Timothy Stack
(1) Ending the despicable "war on drugs"
(2) Ending the despicable "war on filesharing"
(3) Abolishing the despicable patent system
(4) Demanding that the Pink Pony bring back "recession-busting $5 table dances" (which featured prominently in their radio ads back in 1991)
(5) Allowing dental hygienists to clean teeth without dentist supervision
(6) Abolishing prescription requirements for pharmaceuticals
(7) Crushing the teachers unions
(8) Releasing "Night Stand with Dick Dietrick" on DVD
(9) No more bailouts
(10) Promulgating the truth that 9/11 was an inside job
(11) Fixing "Heroes" so that it stops sucking so much
(12) Bringing back the McRib DONE!
(13) Abolishing the Electrical College
(14) Releasing left-wing-activist cop-killers from jail
(15) Sticking up for Ezra Levant
(16) Insisting that "Guitar Hero: World Tour" and "Rock Band 2" play well with each others' peripherals
(17) Abolishing licensing requirements for hairdressing, hair-weaving, hair-beading, hair-lengthening, and medicine
(18) Rescuing Katie Holmes from the Scientologists
(19) Repealing Washington State's inhumane alien firearms licensing non-system
(20) Revoking Al Gore's Nobel "Peace" Prize
(21) Getting rid of the Americans with Disabilities Act
(22) Reuniting Winger DONE!
(23) Electing Ron Paul
(24) Getting Chris Hitchens his own TV show
(25) Instituting a college football playoff
(26) Getting "Son of the Beach on Hulu DONE! ("I'll get you in the end, Notch Johnson!" "No, The Bird, you're headed to prison, so you'll be the one getting it in the end.")
(27) Insisting that the incontrovertible fact of evolution be taught in public schools
(28) Making sure that Chelsea Clinton never gets her hands anywhere near the reins of power
(29) No new taxes
(30) No old taxes
(31) Convincing Guns N Roses to finally release "Chinese Democracy" DONE!
(32) Developing cheap, fuel-efficient auto-rickshaws for the Amrikan market
(33) Teaching economics to our children, so that one day everyone will be able to prove the First Fundamental Theorem
(34) Liberating the Atlas Shrugged movie from "development hell"
(35) Getting Led Zeppelin to give Bert Jansch credit for the arrangement of "Black Mountain Side"
(36) Figuring out how to get YouTube to stop thinking I'm in India
(37) Lobbying Bill Cosby to bring JELL-O Pudding Pops back to the market
(38) Eradicating tropical diseases
(39) Encouraging Mormons to write more books about teen/vampire romances, Bean, and Allomancers
(40) Tarring and feathering Nathan Myhrvold
(41) Popularizing the theories of Mencius Moldbug
(42) Preventing the reinstatement of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban (at least until such time as I have stocked up on assault weapons at non-gouge prices)
(43) Promoting "fareology" (and, if there's time, also "vibeology") as legitimate academic disciplines
(44) Encouraging me to finish my anti-religious magnum opus
(45) Developing wildly-creative regional film industries like they have in India
(46) Eliminating the stigma on pejorative non-sexualized usage of the word "gay"
(47) Supporting the rights of hall-of-fame ballplayers to have their heads cryogenically frozen after retirement
(48) Putting "The Simpsons" out of their misery
(49) Boycotting Dominos and Pizza Hut and Papa John's and Round Table
(50) Giving some sort of lifetime "outstanding achievement in the field of excellence" award to Timothy Stack