It's reallllly long, but it says a lot
This has been a really rough week for me and it has made me rethink a couple relationships. People who I would think would naturally be there for me have screwed me over and people who I wouldn't expect anything from have been more than helpful. To the latter half, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My grandmother passed away this past Friday and I took it really hard. I knew she wasn't doing too well, but it still came as a shock cause I always thought in the back of my head that she would be around forever. I was really close with her and we had been through a lot together.
My dad came into work that day to break the news. I was a complete mess, but I decided to stay so I could make enough money to support me and my 'friend' so we could go see New Found Glory, Green Day and Sugarcult on Halloween. Something I had been looking forward to since Warped Tour and it seemed to be the only thing I had good going for myself since Friday. So I stuck through work that day, went home and cried myself to sleep.
Worked Saturday and dressed up for work. The whole night I was so excited cause I was going to be able to see this 'friend' for the first time since Warped Tour, I had really missed her and was glad I was gonna be able to spend time with her. I called and left a few messages saying when I got off work and such, but no response back... I figured she didnt hear it ring cause she was at a concert... 10 o'clock rolls around and I have been off work since 9:30..I wait patiently, hang out and continue to call...no answer...I wait at work until 12am and I still have heard nothing..infuriated, I drive home...as I walk in the house, I get mad at myself for being mad and I begin to worry that something might have happened...I worry all night and leave messages hoping she will atleast respond so I know she's okay..still nothing and I fall asleep...I wake up Halloween morning, crying because I still have heard nothing, but I can see that she has signed off from online, so I know she's okay. I just couldn't understand how someone who has always said that I'm one of the only true/sane people she knows could screw me over like this, especially knowing what I was going through. No phone calls that day or any day after that to follow. Lisa tells me she ended up getting in a minor car accident that day, but I still don't understand why she couldn't just call me and let me know what was up. It just makes me realize she never valued our friendship and didn't even have enough decency to call me that night or any following night to say she wasn't coming..if she had atleast called me on Saturday and said she wasn't coming instead of me waiting around for 2 1/2 hours I wouldn't be as mad. But I just want her to know I thought a lot about her and considered her a true friend, but I can't surround myself with people who I think the world of and have them fuck me over like that. She always says people screw her over left and right and I never did that so I don't know why she would treat me like this..I'm over it and want nothing to do with shit like that...
Tuesday I flew over to Indiana and enjoyed a little family time which is a huge rarity..Wednesday was the funeral and I cried more than I have ever in my life..it was a lot harder than I thought, but the closure was good. My grandmother died on my 9 year old cousin's birthday and he told me he was glad, cause he got to be the one to take her pain away. She was such a caring person and I will miss her so much. Thank you to everyone that has helped me through this tough time, it means a lot to know that some people care.