(Untitled)

[theboxization]

HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY next round.

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!

Now VOTE. CLOSED

Comments

[getrhythmic]

... ah. Okay, my ins were Jiroubou, Link, and Yuffie. Otherwise, all out, though Nodame's was wibbled. Ask for concrit and ye shall receive.

Ashe

[getrhythmic]

Concrit is appriciated, if you have any.

Re: Ashe

[getrhythmic]

Okay, let's see. The strongest part was the bit on the moogle, but aside from that the biggest problem was that, well, nothing stood out. Which is awful as far as constructive criticism goes, but that's the thing. The writing itself is fine enough, but there's a lack of really strong jokes or subject matter (aside from the aforementioned moogle bit), and, well, if I read an app and afterwards I can barely remember anything about it that quickly, it's probably going to end up an out.

The best advice I can really think of is coming up with a couple of really strong jokes and focusing on and building up to them; unfortunately, advice on content itself has never been my strong suit, so. Um. Yeah.

Ashe

[getrhythmic]

Yeah, I was kind of worried about the jokes. Ashe is so serious, I had a hard time thinking of ways to make her be funny.

Re: Ashe

[getrhythmic]

Yeah, that can be a problem! None of my characters are excessively serious so I don't have much to go on there as far as how to write apps for them, but I think for something like that it means you really have to come up with some good stuff for them to react to. And that's not an easy task a lot of the time, so I wish you the best of luck if you decide to reapp.

Ashe

[getrhythmic]

I do plan to reapp, so thank you for your help!

Jio

[getrhythmic]

Any crit would be appreciated there!

Re: Jio

[getrhythmic]

Okay ahaha wow trying to give concrit whilst at work I am suicidal.

Right. So. The big problem was that the app didn't really have anything to it beyond "shounen retard" and yes, the character may be one, but when there's nothing else to the app but that, it doesn't really show off what makes the character unique and surely there's stuff about Jio that makes him different than the other shounen retards in camp, right? After all, Goku has his social backwardsness (oh man that is so not a word), Ranma has his ability to be utterly topped by women, not to mention his curse and all, and so on.

So I guess my advice is to work on making him stand out as a character so it's not just "shounen retard" and instead "shounen retard who (unique characteristics goes here)."

Re: Jio

[getrhythmic]

Ahhh. I see. Ahaha, I'll try to manage that somehow. It's just tough focusing on more then one thing sometimes.

Re: Jio

[getrhythmic]

It is, yeah. I know I've had that stumbling block in the app writing process before. But it really does pay off. Best of luck if you decide to reapp!

Nodame apper here!

[getrhythmic]

Is there anything in particular that you'd like to see improved on a re-app? Thank you! :)

Re: Nodame apper here!

[getrhythmic]

... well, I already wibbled to an in, BUT. I think why it was originally an out is that the writing is a little... I don't know. The character herself seems a little spazzy and scatterbrained, but for some reason the writing itself follows suit in a way that doesn't quite work for me. Like, I think the writing could be a little bit clearer as it jumps around a bit (even if it's in a fairly amusing manner).

Also, the song parodies are a great idea but the execution could be a little better. I love the small text narration in between songs, though. It practically makes the gag.

Still, I liked what I saw and it was better on the reread, so best of luck ont the reapp if you don't make it in this time.

Kamui

[getrhythmic]

I know there was far too much in my app, but anything else would be greatly appreciated!

Re: Kamui

[getrhythmic]

... hrm. Well, the thing is, that's my major quibble; the whole, y'know, list of things in camp and jumping from topic and topic and so on without anything new about any of them. So I'm probably not going to be of much use, I'm afraid. Sorry!