(no subject)
Triple app at the end of the batch!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Now closed!
Character: Gary Oak (aka Okido Shigeru)
Series: Pokemon
Age: around 13
Canon: Gary is the grandson of a famous Pokemon researcher, but more importantly, the rival of the main character of the the show, Ash Ketchum. Gary's character has undergone much transition throughout the show's plot. He went from an arrogant and rude, yet overpowering, pokemon trainer, to a devoted pokemon reasearcher.
Back in his big fat jerk days, Gary was always a source of irratation to Ash. Gary just easily succeeded in every way Ash couldn't. If Ash caught one pokemon, Gary caught 50. If Ash bragged about the size of a pokemon he caught, you better believe Gary's was bigger. Ash ran around with cute little pokemon like Bulbasaur and Pikachu, and Gary utilzed brute strength with pokemon titans like Nidoking and Blastoise. Gary even had a fanclub made up of beautiful women that rode around with him in a red convertible. Until Gary swapped training for reasearch, Ash could never seem to one up him.
Sample Post:
Zombie: A sluggish and dull-witted, yet resilient, lifeform with an insatiable hunger for the human brain.
First day and I've already observed much about these creatures. (I've adopted a battle some, study some, policy) I hate to admit it, but my progress at first was embarrassing. I may or may not have believed some of the hideous female zombies were enthusiastic fans of mine.
So, I'd never seen a zombie before this and I made some mistakes... Besides, what is a brilliant guy like me supposed to think when a stranger approaches, shyly murmuring, "Brains..."?
I'll tell you: "Why yes, I do have a magnificent brain, thank you!", and then I would add her to the Gary Is The Man Club.
Yeah, but the magic ended when a male zombie, whithered organs exposed, staggered towards me, moaning. Knew I had to take some action then, so I unleashed my faithful umbreon and defeated those scabby freaks!
(at this point I heard a pathetic scream off in the woods that sounded just like that moron, Ash. Bet he hasn't captured a single zombie yet, HA!)
I felt a little dirty after my first zombie encounter so I went to have a dip in the lake, but on seeing its briney, glowing shores, I decided against it. The toxic waste drum floating around in there can't be a good sign, and that squirrel-o-gator sitting on top of it has to be an even worse one.
Seems like there are a ton of other campers here though, which is just great. I may be able to participate in one of my secret favorite past-times, campfire sing-a-longs! And maybe even find someone who shares my interest.
Though if Ash found out about this, I could never live it down!
There's an awful lot of noise outside right now... Looks like an all out war has just erupted over my dirt-floored hovel of a cabin; Sinister looking toucans versus the squirrel-o-gators. And the toucans seem to be shooting some sort of mind beams...
Woah! Roof collapsing, gotta go!
Poll Vote!
Character: Toph
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Age: 12
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a boy named Aang who has
the ability to control the four elements and who’s destiny is to defeat the
Firelord and restore balance to the world. To do this, he must master all
elements before the end of summer. Toph is teaching him earth.
Toph is a powerful earthbender (someone who can manipulate soil and rocks),
which allows her to compensate for her blindness by “seeing” with her feet-
sensing vibrations through the ground. Despite being coddled by her
over-protective parents, Toph grows up to be fiercely independent,
aggressive, abrasive, and stubborn. “I love fighting; I love being an
earthbender, and I’m really, really good at it.” She goes so far as to
become the “Blind Bandit” and fight in her world’s version of the WWE, where
she reigned as champion. After meeting the Avatar and horrifying her
parents with her double life, Toph runs away to explore the world and teach
Aang earthbending. The most recent episode left Toph and the rest of Aang’s
gang headed for Ba-Sing-Se.
Sample Post:
All right, listen up! Anyone seen a twinkle toes kid with no attention
span, a sugary sweet girl, and a dumb boy with a perky “warrior’s wolftail”
around here? “Braaaaiiinnnsssss” is not an answer. Why are so many
of your people staggering around and saying that? Is there plague in this
village?! You shouldn’t just let people walk in here! What? Zombies?
Just so it’s not catching.
What’s up with this swamp, anyway? Plants don’t normally move like
this, you know, and they never try to put their branches in the wrong places
and then run away when they realize you’ve noticed. And don’t tell me I’m
nuts, because I can feel them doing it, and not just the touching! Your
plants are moving, and if you haven’t noticed, that’s your fault. Not being
able to feel them doing it is no excuse for being so oblivious. I’m not
going to do anything about it either, so don’t even bother asking. It’s
your problem, not mine.
And I don’t need a cabin. I can take care of myself, thanks. I
carry my own weight, so I don’t need your help. I’m not scared of the
zombies, or gorillas, or tentacle monsters (whatever they are). I can take
care of myself. You don’t believe me, you can look at those two animals up
to their necks in rock. That’s what’ll happen to you if you try any funny
business with me, and that’s only if I’m feeling nice. So I don’t need your
cabin, or your protection, or anything else! And you’d better not get in my
way!
Now what’s the road to Ba-Sing-Se? I have some friends I need to find.
Poll Vote!
Character: Batou’s Personal Tachikoma
Series: Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Age: Tachikoma aren't technically alive, but they've only existed and gained self awareness for a short period of time
Canon: Tachikoma are a very small race of sentient
mini-tanks working in an elite police force from the
year 2030. Each one is an individual but they all
share some common personality traits: a professional
attitude on the job, a strong sense of curiosity about
themselves and the world around them, and a childlike
disposition including plenty of playtime. Batou's
Personal Tachikoma happens to be one of the most
curious and very often that Curiosity Killed the
Tachikoma. Occasionally prideful, and often forgetting
to look before he leaps, this Tachikoma, like his
comrades, is good natured towards humans and would
never think of disobedience outside of the occasional
childish mischief.
Sample Post:
Hello Camp Fuck You Die! My name
is Tachikoma and I'm here to ask you a very important
question. Have you hugged your laptop today?
Now you might think they are less than kind to you,
but campers and councilors of Camp, how kind have you
been to them? Many of them are just trying to be
helpful in making the transition to the life here. You
can never say that they aren't breaking up the
monotony! I’m personally very excited to experience
all that camp has to offer! I wonder if I can
experience a gender switch if Tachikoma have no
gender. Would de-aging be similar to system recovery,
or perhaps just a memory wipe? Oooh! So exciting!
Ah! Back to my original topic! As a fellow non-organic
entity I’d like to start a "Machines Need Love Too"
campaign. Maybe that time your laptop posted that porn
about you, it just needed a good defrag. Or the time
it showed messy pictures of your mother's death it
just needed some kind words of encouragement for all
of its help facilitating you getting that date with
that guy in Cabin 6.
Just remember, "Machines Need Love Too!" Here, have a
button! Ah! Here's your arm back. It just seemed to
have fallen off camper-san. Maybe you should buy a
replacement or look to getting that tightened.
Aarrrgggzbraaaaiinnnzaar? I’m sorry, I've never heard
of Aarrrgggzbraaaaiinnnzaar before. Is that a language
from another world? Oooh tell me more!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Soma Cruz
Series: Castlevania
Age: 19
Canon: (Contains Spoilers) While most of the games in the Castlevania series focus on the
centuries old feud between Dracula and the Belmont family, Aria and Dawn of
Sorrow are different, not only because they take place after Dracula's final
defeat in 1999, but because main character Soma Cruz is actually Dracula's
reincarnation. And while Soma's "destiny" may be to follow in his previous
life's footsteps and try and wipe out the human race, he's not all that keen
on the concept of genocide and is doing everything he can to avoid that fate.
Personality: For the most part, Soma is a fairly normal teenager, despite having
the power to absorb monster souls and use their powers. He can be a bit distant at times
and other people can have a hard time approaching him, though he's friendly
enough to them. He's the serious type, though not without a sense of humor.
He is not, however, very good at telling jokes. Soma is also the type who asks
questions because he likes to know what's going on; mostly because in the past he's
gotten his questions brushed aside with an "I"ll tell you later". Soma is loyal
to his friends, perhaps because it seems he hasn't had all that many in the past.
Sample Post:
--said it's not the point. I don't care if you tapped a fresh vein
just for this glass, or that virgins are supposed to be extra tasty. And it doesn't
matter if a 1979 O+ is supposed to be a good vintage either. ...Look, just hold on
a second, the computer finally decided to turn itself back on.
I'll try and keep this short, since I'm sure you all have more important things
to do, but there's a few questions about this camp that I'd like to have answered.
First, there seems to be something wrong with the laptop I got when I arrived here.
The date it gives me is for 2006 and whenever I try and correct it, a window pops
up that says "Shows what you know, dumbass." I know everyone always makes jokes
about how Windows is evil and uncooperative, but this is a little over the top.
Then there's the wildlife. I know gorillas and toucans aren't native to Louisiana,
but where did they come from? Someone steal them from a zoo? And I should probably
mention the tentacle that emerged from the lake to wave at me when I went past.
Please tell me no one actually swims in there.
My last question, for now anyway, is if, upon arrival, a group of zombies came
up to you, declared you their lord and master, what would you do with them?
Because, really, they're getting pretty annoying with the constant demands that I
give them orders.
Yes, you are. Don't "Brrrrainssss!" at me. That's not an excuse. No,
a glass of blood would not improve my mood. Didn't we go over that already?
Though if you really want some orders, maybe you could give me a hand--
I didn't mean that literally.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sumeragi Subaru
Series: Tokyo Babylon (Not X) Fansite Wiki Official Tokyopop TB page
Age: 16 (I'm stealing him from midway through TB)
Canon: Tokyo Babylon (paired with X/1999, its sequel series) is often known as CLAMP’s epic tragedy. One reason for this is that the series keeps up a pretense of being lighthearted, sweet, and inspirational when there are really dark things afoot, making the second, more serious part of the series hit all the harder.
The main character of this series is named Sumeragi Subaru, the 13th head of a family of onmyouji in Japan. (Onmyouji are an idea that is very hard to translate. The word literally means ‘master of yin and yang’ and describes a special sort of diviner or mystic that often deals with the spirit realm.) Despite his young age and dislike for his job, Subaru does his very best to fulfill the expectations of his post. Unfortunately, his extremely self-sacrificing and kind personality is a severe detriment to him. He often manages to hurt himself physically or emotionally while trying to take care of others, and doesn’t seem to mind at all.
The three people who try their hardest to protect Subaru (from himself and others) are his twin sister, Hokuto, his grandmother, the previous head of the family, and a veterinarian friend of theirs, Sakurazuka Seishirou. Subaru has an incredibly close relationship with his (slightly spastic) sister, but Seishirou manages to have an even greater effect on the boy. Due to Subaru’s great love of animals (and their reciprocation) and Seishirou’s general kindness and love towards the boy, Subaru slowly but surely falls in love with him. (Hokuto approves of this pairing, and is their greatest fan.)
Despite this, Subaru quickly moves towards his tragic ending...
((Due to Subaru’s extreme politeness, Japanese honorifics are something that he could never just drop. He might use the familiar -chan or -kun with his sister or children, but he will almost always address people he does not know as -san.))
Sample Post:
Come here, little guy...don’t worry, I won’t hurt you... That’s it...
Shh...I know it hurts. But just bear with me. Hokuto-chan packed me some bandages, and I think that I can make the bleeding stop. [sigh] I wish that Seishirou-san was here. He would know exactly what to do with a wound like this... Oh well. I’ve bandaged myself enough to know how to do that at least...
Stay still for a minute, please. I’m not sure exactly what you are, but I think that I can safely assume that that green stuff is blood, and this...this almost looks like something made by a shotgun... But why would anyone do something like that?
...what kind of place is this..?
There, how’s that? Better? Ah, good!
[strokes absent-mindedly] When Grandmother faxed me this job in America, I was a little apprehensive. She couldn’t tell me anything more than that people were disappearing, and that I was being hired to find a few of them. And...I didn’t realize that it would be so chaotic here... Everything is so violent here that even harmless animals like you get caught up in it. Also...to be frank...there doesn’t appear to be any real spiritual influence here. I’m not sure how much I can do... [sigh]
But you don’t want to hear this, do you? And I have a job to do. (Besides that, I think that that wing of yours looks like it might be infected...) So why don’t we go find someone to help us?
Poll Vote!
Character: Fujioka Haruhi
Series: Ouran High School Host Club
Age: 15
Applicant #1
Canon: Haruhi is an only child, and her mother died when she was younger. Her father is a transvestite and works at a gay bar, but Haruhi doesn't seem to mind. She is unfazeable, calm, and extremely devoted to her schoolwork. She attends Ouran High School; a school for the insanely (and quite often insane) wealthy, despite her being a "commoner" due to a scholarship. She takes care of everything herself, from housework to cooking, shopping, and even filling out the application for Ouran. She is in her first year of high school.
She originally meant to spend her entire time at school studying, but wandered into the 3rd music room while looking for a quite place to study and found the Host Club. Due to her flat chest and short hair they mistook her for a boy, and when she accidentally knocked over an expensive vase they insisted she pay by joining the Host Club and working as a Host. It took awhile for them all to realize she was female, and now she wears the boy's uniform and most of the school thinks she is a guy as well.
Haruhi has become an important part of the Host Club, despite being completely apathetic. Tamaki Suoh (the king of the club) refers to himself as her "father" and while he wants Haruhi to show her feminine side, if she is revealed to be a girl, she'll have to quit being a host and he won't see her at all. Hitachiins Kaoru and Hikaru are also in the host club and in the same grade a Haruhi, which they use to annoy Tamaki. They refer to Haruhi as their "toy", but are at least as protective of her as Tamaki when the going gets tough, and Haruhi seems to be the only person who can automatically tell them apart. The entire club seems to like, respect, and care for her, and have dubbed her the "natural rookie host", and yet she doesn't care.
Sample Post:
Ah, so this is it. I didn’t realize that finding the missing portion of the Host Club wouldn't entail going to summer camp, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I'm actually more surprised that Tamaki didn't drag the entire club along with him instead of just half of it. I assume that Tamaki-sempai is calling it a great chance “to learn about the lives of commoners" and Kyouya-sempai is asserting himself as Shadow King, and the Hitachiins are... making people's lives more interesting.
It would've been nice if Honey-sempai and their fans hadn't simply shoved me out of the car and driven away. I understand that the club's fans are very unhappy at the absence of half the club, and that we can't even really run the club without Tamaki and Kyouya, and that they're more likely to listen to me, but they could've stayed and helped.
I wonder how far behind I'll be on schoolwork this time. I hope not very much.
Applicant #2
Canon: Ouran High School Host Club takes place at the highly prestigious Ouran Academy, school of the rich. Haruhi is a lower class girl who is able to attend via a special scholarship and fabulous grades. Haruhi's Great Adventure with the Host Club starts when she accidentally breaks an expensive vase (read: ¥8,000,000) and is roped in to work for the Host Club to pay off her debt. To be allowed to remain a part of the Host Club, she must pretend to be a boy, opening the doorway for wacky gender-bending hijinks.
Haruhi is quite the practical, independent girl, and sometimes the ridiculous flights of fancy of the filthy rich members of the Host Club are almost too much for her to handle. She's academecially intelligent and has quite an eye for understanding how people work, but sometimes her blunt, straight-forward nature can hurt others' feelings despite her zero ill intentions. Also, in spite of her significant academic intelligent, she be strangely oblivious, especially in regards to the social world.
Sample Post:
I'm beginning to think that the shortcut home through the park is not so short a cut after all. I also think someone might need to turn down the sprinklers back here. It's like walking through a swamp! It's even making the weeds... grow like weeds. Like this bizarre looking flower. It looks a little like a llama. Something smells like rotting meat too, but I don't think it's the flower... Oh, excuse me sir, but do you think you could--
You know, you're not looking too well. You're looking a little not-so-put-together, and you smell terrible. Wait, where are you going? ...was it something I said?
Actually, I'm starting to feel not so sure about this park... It's... strange, and sure, it has an awful lot of trees, but I don't think it's possible to hide this much land in so little foliage. I should have reached home ages ago. It feels a little like I've walked halfway around the world even. Ah, here's a sign. Maybe there will be a map. Let's see now... Camp... Follow Your Dreams? Finance Your Delicatassen? And what does it mean by camp? I could have sworn this was a park though I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's impossible to read anyway. The letters have been all rubbed out--
--Wait! I have an idea! Now, if I hold this paper over the grooves like this and rub this pencil over it like that, it says "Camp Fu--"
...
...Oh no. I don't think this is the park, at all.
Applicant #3
Canon: Fujioka Haruhi is the rather reluctant heroine of a series on more crack than the San Andreas Fault. As a middle-class girl accepted to the prestigious, super-elite Ouran Academy as a "special scholarship" student, Haruhi intends to keep her head down, study hard, and become a lawyer... until she stumbles upon an abandoned music room, destroys a vase worth more money than some small countries, and ends up heavily indebted to the Host Club. Luckily, Haruhi's big pretty eyes land her in the role of a host, flirting with girls in order to pay off her debt. The catch? Everyone thinks she's a boy. Thanks to Haruhi's fantastic lack of gender consciousness, she simply finds it too troublesome to correct them -- and anyway, the food's damn good.
Because of Haruhi's skills as a "natural rookie," the Host Club keeps her on even after they clue in that she does, in fact, have girlparts. And so, studious, down-to-earth little Haruhi is plunged into the daily life of the club, fending off Tamaki's overexuberant attentions and putting up with the utter insanity only the rich and utterly carefree are able to pull off. She sighs. She deadpans. She makes "commoner's coffee" upon request with only the slightest twitch of one eye. Unnervingly perceptive and incredibly intelligent, Haruhi is nonetheless oblivious to the fact that her independence and naivety often causes others to worry about her, and occasionally does and says things without realizing how much they hurt. Despite this, the essentially fearless Haruhi is a steadfast weight in a sea of crazy, deadpanning her way through every situation and winning everyone over along the way. After all, with a father like hers, everything else seems sort of... sane.
Note: Permission graciously granted to mention Kyouya and the Host Club.
Sample Post:
Kyouya-sempai? I received your invitation and information booklet. And while the food on the plane was excellent, I think my father may have been alarmed by the large and possibly criminally-involved mummies dragging me off into the limousine. I understand you prefer to keep things under wraps, but I hardly think it was necessary to be quite so literal.
Travel conditions aside, I would very much prefer to be back home in time for Monday morning's classes. I'm sure the rest of the Host Club can fare perfectly well without me in their attempt to "fornicate and flourish with forbidden fantasies in fantastic forest and fen" -- is this for real? It sounds like something out of a bad horror manga. And I really don't think girls will like the "succulent, salivating simians" or the "grotesque groans gyrating from the gaping" --
Oh, it's very accurate, though, isn't it? As usual, the club seems to have spent a typically inordinate amount of money on creating very realistic and, indeed, gaping zombies. Are they supposed to scare the girls into our arms so we can comfort them? Or is it to set the mood? They are quite amorous, I guess, but aren't they also, ah... how would sempai say this? Cosmetically different? Living impaired? Aesthetically challenged...?
Ah! Ugly.
... so after I find a long stick to help get my tie back from that highly offended zombie (I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it personally), I'll be leaving right away. I really can't afford a new uniform, you know. And no, Gorilla-san. I will not wear the maid outfit instead. That's not even a garter. That's a garter snake.
Strange. I thought that kind of snake preferred to live on plains.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Now closed!
Character: Gary Oak (aka Okido Shigeru)
Series: Pokemon
Age: around 13
Canon: Gary is the grandson of a famous Pokemon researcher, but more importantly, the rival of the main character of the the show, Ash Ketchum. Gary's character has undergone much transition throughout the show's plot. He went from an arrogant and rude, yet overpowering, pokemon trainer, to a devoted pokemon reasearcher.
Back in his big fat jerk days, Gary was always a source of irratation to Ash. Gary just easily succeeded in every way Ash couldn't. If Ash caught one pokemon, Gary caught 50. If Ash bragged about the size of a pokemon he caught, you better believe Gary's was bigger. Ash ran around with cute little pokemon like Bulbasaur and Pikachu, and Gary utilzed brute strength with pokemon titans like Nidoking and Blastoise. Gary even had a fanclub made up of beautiful women that rode around with him in a red convertible. Until Gary swapped training for reasearch, Ash could never seem to one up him.
Sample Post:
Zombie: A sluggish and dull-witted, yet resilient, lifeform with an insatiable hunger for the human brain.
First day and I've already observed much about these creatures. (I've adopted a battle some, study some, policy) I hate to admit it, but my progress at first was embarrassing. I may or may not have believed some of the hideous female zombies were enthusiastic fans of mine.
So, I'd never seen a zombie before this and I made some mistakes... Besides, what is a brilliant guy like me supposed to think when a stranger approaches, shyly murmuring, "Brains..."?
I'll tell you: "Why yes, I do have a magnificent brain, thank you!", and then I would add her to the Gary Is The Man Club.
Yeah, but the magic ended when a male zombie, whithered organs exposed, staggered towards me, moaning. Knew I had to take some action then, so I unleashed my faithful umbreon and defeated those scabby freaks!
(at this point I heard a pathetic scream off in the woods that sounded just like that moron, Ash. Bet he hasn't captured a single zombie yet, HA!)
I felt a little dirty after my first zombie encounter so I went to have a dip in the lake, but on seeing its briney, glowing shores, I decided against it. The toxic waste drum floating around in there can't be a good sign, and that squirrel-o-gator sitting on top of it has to be an even worse one.
Seems like there are a ton of other campers here though, which is just great. I may be able to participate in one of my secret favorite past-times, campfire sing-a-longs! And maybe even find someone who shares my interest.
Though if Ash found out about this, I could never live it down!
There's an awful lot of noise outside right now... Looks like an all out war has just erupted over my dirt-floored hovel of a cabin; Sinister looking toucans versus the squirrel-o-gators. And the toucans seem to be shooting some sort of mind beams...
Woah! Roof collapsing, gotta go!
Poll Vote!
Character: Toph
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Age: 12
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a boy named Aang who has
the ability to control the four elements and who’s destiny is to defeat the
Firelord and restore balance to the world. To do this, he must master all
elements before the end of summer. Toph is teaching him earth.
Toph is a powerful earthbender (someone who can manipulate soil and rocks),
which allows her to compensate for her blindness by “seeing” with her feet-
sensing vibrations through the ground. Despite being coddled by her
over-protective parents, Toph grows up to be fiercely independent,
aggressive, abrasive, and stubborn. “I love fighting; I love being an
earthbender, and I’m really, really good at it.” She goes so far as to
become the “Blind Bandit” and fight in her world’s version of the WWE, where
she reigned as champion. After meeting the Avatar and horrifying her
parents with her double life, Toph runs away to explore the world and teach
Aang earthbending. The most recent episode left Toph and the rest of Aang’s
gang headed for Ba-Sing-Se.
Sample Post:
All right, listen up! Anyone seen a twinkle toes kid with no attention
span, a sugary sweet girl, and a dumb boy with a perky “warrior’s wolftail”
around here? “Braaaaiiinnnsssss” is not an answer. Why are so many
of your people staggering around and saying that? Is there plague in this
village?! You shouldn’t just let people walk in here! What? Zombies?
Just so it’s not catching.
What’s up with this swamp, anyway? Plants don’t normally move like
this, you know, and they never try to put their branches in the wrong places
and then run away when they realize you’ve noticed. And don’t tell me I’m
nuts, because I can feel them doing it, and not just the touching! Your
plants are moving, and if you haven’t noticed, that’s your fault. Not being
able to feel them doing it is no excuse for being so oblivious. I’m not
going to do anything about it either, so don’t even bother asking. It’s
your problem, not mine.
And I don’t need a cabin. I can take care of myself, thanks. I
carry my own weight, so I don’t need your help. I’m not scared of the
zombies, or gorillas, or tentacle monsters (whatever they are). I can take
care of myself. You don’t believe me, you can look at those two animals up
to their necks in rock. That’s what’ll happen to you if you try any funny
business with me, and that’s only if I’m feeling nice. So I don’t need your
cabin, or your protection, or anything else! And you’d better not get in my
way!
Now what’s the road to Ba-Sing-Se? I have some friends I need to find.
Poll Vote!
Character: Batou’s Personal Tachikoma
Series: Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Age: Tachikoma aren't technically alive, but they've only existed and gained self awareness for a short period of time
Canon: Tachikoma are a very small race of sentient
mini-tanks working in an elite police force from the
year 2030. Each one is an individual but they all
share some common personality traits: a professional
attitude on the job, a strong sense of curiosity about
themselves and the world around them, and a childlike
disposition including plenty of playtime. Batou's
Personal Tachikoma happens to be one of the most
curious and very often that Curiosity Killed the
Tachikoma. Occasionally prideful, and often forgetting
to look before he leaps, this Tachikoma, like his
comrades, is good natured towards humans and would
never think of disobedience outside of the occasional
childish mischief.
Sample Post:
Hello Camp Fuck You Die! My name
is Tachikoma and I'm here to ask you a very important
question. Have you hugged your laptop today?
Now you might think they are less than kind to you,
but campers and councilors of Camp, how kind have you
been to them? Many of them are just trying to be
helpful in making the transition to the life here. You
can never say that they aren't breaking up the
monotony! I’m personally very excited to experience
all that camp has to offer! I wonder if I can
experience a gender switch if Tachikoma have no
gender. Would de-aging be similar to system recovery,
or perhaps just a memory wipe? Oooh! So exciting!
Ah! Back to my original topic! As a fellow non-organic
entity I’d like to start a "Machines Need Love Too"
campaign. Maybe that time your laptop posted that porn
about you, it just needed a good defrag. Or the time
it showed messy pictures of your mother's death it
just needed some kind words of encouragement for all
of its help facilitating you getting that date with
that guy in Cabin 6.
Just remember, "Machines Need Love Too!" Here, have a
button! Ah! Here's your arm back. It just seemed to
have fallen off camper-san. Maybe you should buy a
replacement or look to getting that tightened.
Aarrrgggzbraaaaiinnnzaar? I’m sorry, I've never heard
of Aarrrgggzbraaaaiinnnzaar before. Is that a language
from another world? Oooh tell me more!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Soma Cruz
Series: Castlevania
Age: 19
Canon: (Contains Spoilers) While most of the games in the Castlevania series focus on the
centuries old feud between Dracula and the Belmont family, Aria and Dawn of
Sorrow are different, not only because they take place after Dracula's final
defeat in 1999, but because main character Soma Cruz is actually Dracula's
reincarnation. And while Soma's "destiny" may be to follow in his previous
life's footsteps and try and wipe out the human race, he's not all that keen
on the concept of genocide and is doing everything he can to avoid that fate.
Personality: For the most part, Soma is a fairly normal teenager, despite having
the power to absorb monster souls and use their powers. He can be a bit distant at times
and other people can have a hard time approaching him, though he's friendly
enough to them. He's the serious type, though not without a sense of humor.
He is not, however, very good at telling jokes. Soma is also the type who asks
questions because he likes to know what's going on; mostly because in the past he's
gotten his questions brushed aside with an "I"ll tell you later". Soma is loyal
to his friends, perhaps because it seems he hasn't had all that many in the past.
Sample Post:
--said it's not the point. I don't care if you tapped a fresh vein
just for this glass, or that virgins are supposed to be extra tasty. And it doesn't
matter if a 1979 O+ is supposed to be a good vintage either. ...Look, just hold on
a second, the computer finally decided to turn itself back on.
I'll try and keep this short, since I'm sure you all have more important things
to do, but there's a few questions about this camp that I'd like to have answered.
First, there seems to be something wrong with the laptop I got when I arrived here.
The date it gives me is for 2006 and whenever I try and correct it, a window pops
up that says "Shows what you know, dumbass." I know everyone always makes jokes
about how Windows is evil and uncooperative, but this is a little over the top.
Then there's the wildlife. I know gorillas and toucans aren't native to Louisiana,
but where did they come from? Someone steal them from a zoo? And I should probably
mention the tentacle that emerged from the lake to wave at me when I went past.
Please tell me no one actually swims in there.
My last question, for now anyway, is if, upon arrival, a group of zombies came
up to you, declared you their lord and master, what would you do with them?
Because, really, they're getting pretty annoying with the constant demands that I
give them orders.
Yes, you are. Don't "Brrrrainssss!" at me. That's not an excuse. No,
a glass of blood would not improve my mood. Didn't we go over that already?
Though if you really want some orders, maybe you could give me a hand--
I didn't mean that literally.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sumeragi Subaru
Series: Tokyo Babylon (Not X) Fansite Wiki Official Tokyopop TB page
Age: 16 (I'm stealing him from midway through TB)
Canon: Tokyo Babylon (paired with X/1999, its sequel series) is often known as CLAMP’s epic tragedy. One reason for this is that the series keeps up a pretense of being lighthearted, sweet, and inspirational when there are really dark things afoot, making the second, more serious part of the series hit all the harder.
The main character of this series is named Sumeragi Subaru, the 13th head of a family of onmyouji in Japan. (Onmyouji are an idea that is very hard to translate. The word literally means ‘master of yin and yang’ and describes a special sort of diviner or mystic that often deals with the spirit realm.) Despite his young age and dislike for his job, Subaru does his very best to fulfill the expectations of his post. Unfortunately, his extremely self-sacrificing and kind personality is a severe detriment to him. He often manages to hurt himself physically or emotionally while trying to take care of others, and doesn’t seem to mind at all.
The three people who try their hardest to protect Subaru (from himself and others) are his twin sister, Hokuto, his grandmother, the previous head of the family, and a veterinarian friend of theirs, Sakurazuka Seishirou. Subaru has an incredibly close relationship with his (slightly spastic) sister, but Seishirou manages to have an even greater effect on the boy. Due to Subaru’s great love of animals (and their reciprocation) and Seishirou’s general kindness and love towards the boy, Subaru slowly but surely falls in love with him. (Hokuto approves of this pairing, and is their greatest fan.)
Despite this, Subaru quickly moves towards his tragic ending...
((Due to Subaru’s extreme politeness, Japanese honorifics are something that he could never just drop. He might use the familiar -chan or -kun with his sister or children, but he will almost always address people he does not know as -san.))
Sample Post:
Come here, little guy...don’t worry, I won’t hurt you... That’s it...
Shh...I know it hurts. But just bear with me. Hokuto-chan packed me some bandages, and I think that I can make the bleeding stop. [sigh] I wish that Seishirou-san was here. He would know exactly what to do with a wound like this... Oh well. I’ve bandaged myself enough to know how to do that at least...
Stay still for a minute, please. I’m not sure exactly what you are, but I think that I can safely assume that that green stuff is blood, and this...this almost looks like something made by a shotgun... But why would anyone do something like that?
...what kind of place is this..?
There, how’s that? Better? Ah, good!
[strokes absent-mindedly] When Grandmother faxed me this job in America, I was a little apprehensive. She couldn’t tell me anything more than that people were disappearing, and that I was being hired to find a few of them. And...I didn’t realize that it would be so chaotic here... Everything is so violent here that even harmless animals like you get caught up in it. Also...to be frank...there doesn’t appear to be any real spiritual influence here. I’m not sure how much I can do... [sigh]
But you don’t want to hear this, do you? And I have a job to do. (Besides that, I think that that wing of yours looks like it might be infected...) So why don’t we go find someone to help us?
Poll Vote!
Character: Fujioka Haruhi
Series: Ouran High School Host Club
Age: 15
Applicant #1
Canon: Haruhi is an only child, and her mother died when she was younger. Her father is a transvestite and works at a gay bar, but Haruhi doesn't seem to mind. She is unfazeable, calm, and extremely devoted to her schoolwork. She attends Ouran High School; a school for the insanely (and quite often insane) wealthy, despite her being a "commoner" due to a scholarship. She takes care of everything herself, from housework to cooking, shopping, and even filling out the application for Ouran. She is in her first year of high school.
She originally meant to spend her entire time at school studying, but wandered into the 3rd music room while looking for a quite place to study and found the Host Club. Due to her flat chest and short hair they mistook her for a boy, and when she accidentally knocked over an expensive vase they insisted she pay by joining the Host Club and working as a Host. It took awhile for them all to realize she was female, and now she wears the boy's uniform and most of the school thinks she is a guy as well.
Haruhi has become an important part of the Host Club, despite being completely apathetic. Tamaki Suoh (the king of the club) refers to himself as her "father" and while he wants Haruhi to show her feminine side, if she is revealed to be a girl, she'll have to quit being a host and he won't see her at all. Hitachiins Kaoru and Hikaru are also in the host club and in the same grade a Haruhi, which they use to annoy Tamaki. They refer to Haruhi as their "toy", but are at least as protective of her as Tamaki when the going gets tough, and Haruhi seems to be the only person who can automatically tell them apart. The entire club seems to like, respect, and care for her, and have dubbed her the "natural rookie host", and yet she doesn't care.
Sample Post:
Ah, so this is it. I didn’t realize that finding the missing portion of the Host Club wouldn't entail going to summer camp, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I'm actually more surprised that Tamaki didn't drag the entire club along with him instead of just half of it. I assume that Tamaki-sempai is calling it a great chance “to learn about the lives of commoners" and Kyouya-sempai is asserting himself as Shadow King, and the Hitachiins are... making people's lives more interesting.
It would've been nice if Honey-sempai and their fans hadn't simply shoved me out of the car and driven away. I understand that the club's fans are very unhappy at the absence of half the club, and that we can't even really run the club without Tamaki and Kyouya, and that they're more likely to listen to me, but they could've stayed and helped.
I wonder how far behind I'll be on schoolwork this time. I hope not very much.
Applicant #2
Canon: Ouran High School Host Club takes place at the highly prestigious Ouran Academy, school of the rich. Haruhi is a lower class girl who is able to attend via a special scholarship and fabulous grades. Haruhi's Great Adventure with the Host Club starts when she accidentally breaks an expensive vase (read: ¥8,000,000) and is roped in to work for the Host Club to pay off her debt. To be allowed to remain a part of the Host Club, she must pretend to be a boy, opening the doorway for wacky gender-bending hijinks.
Haruhi is quite the practical, independent girl, and sometimes the ridiculous flights of fancy of the filthy rich members of the Host Club are almost too much for her to handle. She's academecially intelligent and has quite an eye for understanding how people work, but sometimes her blunt, straight-forward nature can hurt others' feelings despite her zero ill intentions. Also, in spite of her significant academic intelligent, she be strangely oblivious, especially in regards to the social world.
Sample Post:
I'm beginning to think that the shortcut home through the park is not so short a cut after all. I also think someone might need to turn down the sprinklers back here. It's like walking through a swamp! It's even making the weeds... grow like weeds. Like this bizarre looking flower. It looks a little like a llama. Something smells like rotting meat too, but I don't think it's the flower... Oh, excuse me sir, but do you think you could--
You know, you're not looking too well. You're looking a little not-so-put-together, and you smell terrible. Wait, where are you going? ...was it something I said?
Actually, I'm starting to feel not so sure about this park... It's... strange, and sure, it has an awful lot of trees, but I don't think it's possible to hide this much land in so little foliage. I should have reached home ages ago. It feels a little like I've walked halfway around the world even. Ah, here's a sign. Maybe there will be a map. Let's see now... Camp... Follow Your Dreams? Finance Your Delicatassen? And what does it mean by camp? I could have sworn this was a park though I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's impossible to read anyway. The letters have been all rubbed out--
--Wait! I have an idea! Now, if I hold this paper over the grooves like this and rub this pencil over it like that, it says "Camp Fu--"
...
...Oh no. I don't think this is the park, at all.
Applicant #3
Canon: Fujioka Haruhi is the rather reluctant heroine of a series on more crack than the San Andreas Fault. As a middle-class girl accepted to the prestigious, super-elite Ouran Academy as a "special scholarship" student, Haruhi intends to keep her head down, study hard, and become a lawyer... until she stumbles upon an abandoned music room, destroys a vase worth more money than some small countries, and ends up heavily indebted to the Host Club. Luckily, Haruhi's big pretty eyes land her in the role of a host, flirting with girls in order to pay off her debt. The catch? Everyone thinks she's a boy. Thanks to Haruhi's fantastic lack of gender consciousness, she simply finds it too troublesome to correct them -- and anyway, the food's damn good.
Because of Haruhi's skills as a "natural rookie," the Host Club keeps her on even after they clue in that she does, in fact, have girlparts. And so, studious, down-to-earth little Haruhi is plunged into the daily life of the club, fending off Tamaki's overexuberant attentions and putting up with the utter insanity only the rich and utterly carefree are able to pull off. She sighs. She deadpans. She makes "commoner's coffee" upon request with only the slightest twitch of one eye. Unnervingly perceptive and incredibly intelligent, Haruhi is nonetheless oblivious to the fact that her independence and naivety often causes others to worry about her, and occasionally does and says things without realizing how much they hurt. Despite this, the essentially fearless Haruhi is a steadfast weight in a sea of crazy, deadpanning her way through every situation and winning everyone over along the way. After all, with a father like hers, everything else seems sort of... sane.
Note: Permission graciously granted to mention Kyouya and the Host Club.
Sample Post:
Kyouya-sempai? I received your invitation and information booklet. And while the food on the plane was excellent, I think my father may have been alarmed by the large and possibly criminally-involved mummies dragging me off into the limousine. I understand you prefer to keep things under wraps, but I hardly think it was necessary to be quite so literal.
Travel conditions aside, I would very much prefer to be back home in time for Monday morning's classes. I'm sure the rest of the Host Club can fare perfectly well without me in their attempt to "fornicate and flourish with forbidden fantasies in fantastic forest and fen" -- is this for real? It sounds like something out of a bad horror manga. And I really don't think girls will like the "succulent, salivating simians" or the "grotesque groans gyrating from the gaping" --
Oh, it's very accurate, though, isn't it? As usual, the club seems to have spent a typically inordinate amount of money on creating very realistic and, indeed, gaping zombies. Are they supposed to scare the girls into our arms so we can comfort them? Or is it to set the mood? They are quite amorous, I guess, but aren't they also, ah... how would sempai say this? Cosmetically different? Living impaired? Aesthetically challenged...?
Ah! Ugly.
... so after I find a long stick to help get my tie back from that highly offended zombie (I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it personally), I'll be leaving right away. I really can't afford a new uniform, you know. And no, Gorilla-san. I will not wear the maid outfit instead. That's not even a garter. That's a garter snake.
Strange. I thought that kind of snake preferred to live on plains.
Poll Vote!