(Untitled)

[theboxization]

OKAY, sorry for not closing and getting a post up earlier this afternoon. I had a minor disagreement with the kitchen sink and it regurgitated all over the floor and I had to clean away the ROTTEN MOLDY TURKEY BROTH AND SEWAGE SMELL. My dogs - who are perfectly intelligent and didn't take the opportunity to roll around on the floor or anything -

Comments

[getrhythmic]

Kazuki in, and that itself is very, very on the fence. Everyone else out.

Ask for half-decent crit and false accusations and ye shall recieve.

Panthera apper

[getrhythmic]

OHFUCK I FAIL AT ANONYMOUS DUN TELL

I find these 'false accusations' you speak of intriguing.

Re: Panthera apper

[getrhythmic]

Sorry for taking so long with this, camp started getting crazy on me.

So! You've got an interesting character. I dig the character. I just didn't dig the app. It felt kinda canon-reliant and like it was more about your backstory than camp itself. That was my big problem with it, really.

Re: Panthera apper

[getrhythmic]

Yeah, that was my suspicion-- I knew retelling the backstory would be a gamble, and clearly it didn't work! Thanks.

Kazuki apper

[getrhythmic]

I understand that. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to know why it's barely in, rather than out. Or entirely in, if it's easier to think of that way.

Re: Kazuki apper

[getrhythmic]

Rereading, I actually really dug the app. But the whole coworker/zombie thing kind of threw me a bit. So maybe that's it, I dunno. Sorry this took so damn long.

Soma apper

[getrhythmic]

Half-decent concrit is better than none at all and I'll take what ever you've got.

Re: Soma apper

[getrhythmic]

Doing yours first because yours is the easiest to crit, really. It just wasn't funny. Like, not at all. And humor is really, really essential. And even beyond that, there was nothing that really made me interested in Soma in any way. Like, what I get from your app is that Soma is a person who fights the undead/vampires/etc. and that's about it. Nothing regarding personality or quirks or anything that really gives me the impression that I want to see the character in camp.

So yeah. Try to work on making it funnier if you reapp.

Re: Soma apper

[getrhythmic]

Castlevania canon is, unfortunately, not very helpful in terms of personality traits beyond the basics. I tried to work with what I had as best I could, though it seems it was not enough. Thank you for the advice, in any case.

Kanda apper

[getrhythmic]

destroy me. :D

Re: Kanda apper

[getrhythmic]

REALLY sorry this took so long, dunno if you'll even read it.

Okay. A lot of it with this one was that it just wasn't aesthetically pleasing at all. Hard to read, weird line breaks, some grammar quibbles, and so on. It's a decent app itself, the voice is there, but the writing right now is the weakpoint.

Re: Kanda apper

[getrhythmic]

read it! thanks, I plan to reapp so this helps!

ah, yeah...the formatting kinda killed it self. D: It's probably gmail's fault. The writing...I suppose it was trying to keep his voice, while trying to add in funny. Will focus on that when revising. Thanks again! ♥