(no subject)
OKAY, I am awake enough to post and not typo all over the place. There's a dup at the end of this batch!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Kobato Hanato
Series: Kobato.
Character Age: Early Teens
Canon: Sometimes, people's best intentions go awry. No one knows that better than Kobato Hanato. The heroine of her canon, Kobato is a young girl who wants nothing more than to heal people's hearts. Every time she succeeds, the jar she carries with her gets another crystal. It's unclear as to why, but Kobato's only goal is to fill this jar to the brim. She has no powers or forces to help her along. All she has is her own faculties and intuition, and that's bad news for her because Kobato can't help but to go about her good deeds all wrong. Constantly tripping over nothing more than her own feet, or crashing into another person on the street, Kobato is an accident waiting to happen. Her total obliviousness to the workings of the world only make things worst.
Educated largely by manga, magazines, and television, Kobato assumes most thing will play out the way they would in a movie. Not realizing that the things she reads and watches are fictional, Kobato treats these works as sources of wisdom to live by. With no sense of context and no semblance of poise or focus, she barges into situation after situation, trying to help out random passersby. It tends to fail, but Kobato is persistent and always see the glass half-full. Of course, Kobato is more than just your average klutz. She's so cheerful, cute, and ridiculously sincere, that people tend to take a liking to her. Her willingness to help them in any way she can doesn't hurt. By being herself, she manages to serve as a confidante and assistant to many sad people, and accomplish her goals, in a roundabout way. She is however, innocent and trusting to the point that others try to take advantage of her.
Sample Post:
This is so exciting! I've never been to a summer camp before, but in every anime I've seen on TV, lots of exciting things happen there. Couples falling in love, summer romances, new friendships. Summer camp must be a place where all sorts of people find the sadness in their hearts being healed. So all I have to do is find the people, help them, and I'll fit right in! I'm sure I can do it!
Now where do I find my first heart? Maybe that pale, shuffling man knows. He looks very aged and wise. Excuse me sir! Would you please let me put you at ease? O-oh no! Please don't moan like that! It sounds very painful. Now tell me what you need, and I swear I'll go get it for you! 'Brains'?! Please don't talk like that. I'm sure you're very smart. You just haven't found your calling yet. In one manga, a man goes around the world looking for his purpose and it turns out it was waiting for him back home. It was very moving, I cried at the end-- Anyways, I'm sure that if you took a trip like that, you'd discover your purpose too!
But we can't leave the camp...
Well, it's OK! We can just cut to the end of the manga where he finds his purpose waiting for him at home. This is your home, so all we have to do is look. Where would you like to search? The lake? Well, alright, I'll go search the lake, but I think it would work better if you searched too! O-oh no, please don't start moaning again, I am sure you're right. Just wait here and I'll be back soon.
Now then, I'll just look for anything washed up on shore that looks like a purpose. That's how it works, right? I'll have to look very carefully-- Owww! I think I have to remember to look where I'm going too... What was an arm even doing, lying on the ground like that?It's owner must miss it. Thank goodness there was this big, wet pillow waiting to catch me. W-wait, why is a pillow on the beach-- Oh, it's not a pillow at all. Hello, Miss Squid...
Do you know where I could find people who need me to touch them deep inside? Oh no, thank you but I don't need to be touched right now. I do appreciate the hug though... even if it was a little tight. W-wait! We hugged! Does this mean you are my first camp friendship? I'm so excited! We have to make each other friendship bracelets and roast marshmallows together, just like on TV. I'll go find us some beads and string to get started. Ahaha, you don't need to grab my ankle like that, I promise I'll be right back. What a nice squid you are, even if you don't talk much, I'm sure we'll have a heartfelt moment before the summer is over!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kokonoe Sakura
Series: Love DNA XX
Character Age: 16
Canon: In the year 2122, the last human male on Earth died as a result of a plague that stopped anyone with a Y chromosome being born. In a bizarre move, the Japanese government declares that in order to maintain traditional gender roles the remaining people will be divided into Adams, who will be raised to fulfill a man's stereotypical role, and Eves, who will be raised to fulfill a woman's. Our story finds us in 2160, at an exclusive highschool called Kingdom where Adams and Eves study separately, only meeting each other for special events.
Kokonoe Sakura is one of the Adams studying at Kingdom, and is a member of the elite upper class known as the Etoile. As a child of the Prime Minister he has led a life of extreme privilege, including living in a special mansion-like dorm at Kingdom rather than the normal one. However, Sakura is not one to lord his position over everyone else. Rather, he is something of an airhead who deals cheerfully with people based on their own merits. He also adores cats and adopted a stray he found, calling her Oscar. His friendliness should not be taken as weakness though- he has a strong competitive streak and is quite prepared to fight for his ideals.
Sample post:
I have to say, I never thought an American government research facility would look like this! But what are overseas school trips for, if not learning about other cultures? And I understand that this kind of research is very expensive, so you need to cut costs wherever possible. It's perfectly understandable that you wouldn't be able to offer us the kind of accommodation we have back home. I know I'm certainly looking forward to staying in these rustic cabins and eating at a communal mess hall while we're here. Such bare living standards will be a real test of character! It feels almost like we've gone back in time to when men were still around. I'm sure that must be the intent, to help facilitate the research into allowing them to be born again.
Anyway, thank you for the preliminary tour. It was fascinating! It's an honour to be one of the first people of this generation to see a true male gorilla. I was quite surprised when I learned that the research had already progressed this far, actually. Truly a momentous breakthrough. I know that it will take a long time to apply this technology to humans, but even these gorillas are valuable. I feel like I've learned a lot already- my textbooks never mentioned that male gorillas had purple fur. They're more beautiful than I thought. I wonder how hard it would be to keep one back home? In any case, even if they aren't human, I'm sure we can all learn about the behaviour of males by watching these creatures go about their business.
Speaking of our earlier activities, I hope Oscar didn't cause too much trouble. I did my best to keep hold of her, but she has a way of escaping me. Isn't she a cute little rascal? And never one to back down from a challenge. She was up that tree in no time at all, that's my Oscar. Of course, getting back down is always another story. Lucky I was right there to climb up after her! Neither of us knew at the time that it was another product of this facility, but I was very careful not to rip any of the underwear on the way up or down. I'm sure your experiment is unharmed, and of course my family will reimburse you if it was damaged. After all, the kind of creative thinking that creates a tree that grows clothes is just the kind of mind we want to encourage!
Poll Vote!
Character: Koshiro Aoi
Series: Love DNA XX
Character Age: 16
Canon: Imagine a world without men! That's the sort of world Love DNA XX takes place in, where males have stopped being born until the last man is dead by 2122. In order to maintain a semblance of society, the remaining women have been divided into "Adams" and "Eves" respectively in what is known as "The Eden Project". The Adams take on the traditionally male roles, keeping in effect a pseudo-patriarchal system that's not dissimilar to the previous men-dominated society. The preservation of this model goes as far as keeping Adams and Eves segregated in different divisions, training them into their "appropriate" gender. Despite this, some people come to question the validity and reason behind this division, and more drastically, they are unhappy with the monopoly the elite and powerful families have over the government that has set this system in effect.
Koshiro Aoi is not a transfer student, he's only a month late to classes. He's one of the underprivileged students sponsored into the elite boarding school, Kingdom. Orphaned at a young age, he's had a rough upbringing that resulted in his brash and dry attitude, and a healthy contempt for the Etoile who have a stern hold on the government controlled council and institutions. He arrives at Kingdom with the goal of bringing down the Etoile, whom he sees as his rivals. Despite his unkempt ways, he's actually quite the overachiever, excelling in academics and martial arts. His strong sense of justice is only matched by an inversely disproportionate sense of direction, as he's often dashing off resolutely in the wrong way.
Sample Entry:
I will definitely bring this camp down! What sort of institution deprives its people of the basic human needs? These unsanitary blood spraying showers and inedible food isn't even fit for prisoners, let alone helpless, underage campers. I find it hard to believe that a government sponsored camp could allow such conditions. So much for the pristine Etoile keeping their institutions polished and up to their superficial standards. Then again, this could very well be a ploy to keep the campers under their thumb, weakening their spirits with poisoned soup and unholy waking hours. Anyone would break under this strain, but you're not going to get me! If this camp is a test, then I'll persevere!
...Speaking of preservation, why would the Etoile hire you guys anyway? You lot don't look like the pretty sort they keep around. Heck, you don't even look clean. I'd even say you look like someone tried to kill you, repeatedly, and you just keep coming back to life over and over. Do you even bother washing the blood stains off anyway? I can see the bullet holes, stab holes, tentacle hol-- Okay, I think I'm starting to creep myself out here. The bottom line is, you look so miserable I wonder why you bother sticking around. They obviously don't feed you very well, otherwise your skin would be looking better and not all peeled off and weird like that. I bet they're keeping you weak and dismembered on purpose, so you can't fight back! Well, that's not going to happen to me. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.
Right! Now about this getting stronger thing. If I have to attend this oppressive camp, I might as well make the best of it. I guess the training grounds aren't that bad. The swamps could be a bit deeper and slippery, and outrunning all those vines was just too easy. You just have to whack them a couple of times and then they keep their hands...limbs to themselves. That tree with all the undergarments on it was a good target practice at first, but do you have any idea how hard it was to yank my practice sword out of all that lace? Such a waste of practice time I could have spent running, instead. Convincing people I wasn't a pervert with all that underwear on my stuff will take even more time than practicing.
Forget me being a pervert; put those pantyhose down right now! Aw jeez, what did you have to go and do that for? It's embarrassing just looking at you! Couldn't you have used the tatters of your clothes for the racing headbands? No, wait, I'd rather you kept your clothes on, come to think of it. I guess your pantyho-- make shift sport headbands will have to do for our running practice, for the time being. Ten laps around the lake!
Yes, I know where I'm going. Stop pointing at the other direction.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Noah Puckerman aka 'Puck'
Series: Glee
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: Somewhere in the far away land of suburban Ohio, there are some kids who have a dream. A dream of fame, everlasting glory, and continuously getting slushies thrown in their face. This dream is Glee Club, and the students of William McKinley High are living it. The group of misfits, cheerleaders, and football players that make up the Glee Club struggle continuously for acceptance, search for love, and sing show choir arrangements of everything from Nelly to Journey, all while learning that even the most different of stereotypes can come together through the power of SONG!
Puck was one of the guys who originally threw the slushies. A football player with a douche streak a mile long, Puck is a bully, and he loves to apply peer pressure where he sees fit. Even though he has a tendency to be rude and cocky, he isn't entirely bad! He's pretty insecure under all that macho posturing. He always worries about running second best to everyone, whether in the Glee club, on the football field, or even in love. He also desperately wants to get out of small town Ohio, but the fact that he has trouble standing out gets in the way. He could be that nice Jewish boy who can play the guitar and can even take care of small children, but his big ego and bigger sex drive have a tendency to mess that up. A lot.
Sample Post:
Ladies, ladies, get in line! I know everyone wants a piece of the Puckzilla, but that doesn't mean that you need to tear eachother apart just to get close to me! I don't generally go for the super dead look, but hey, I'm all about the new experiences. If you'd heard what kind of girls I've laid already, it would probably make your head spin--whoa whoa whoa, I didn't mean that literally.
And now that I've got a closer look at you, you don't really look as much as a chick as I thought you did. Are you an extra from Dawn of the Dead or something? Because that makeup is hella convincing that you're actually a zombie. Whatever, I've always wanted to know a movie star. Hey, don't look at me like that! The zombies were totally the main character in that movie anyways. We just have to keep this really quiet, people from back home might freak if I bedded someone even semi famous. Just lead me to the most private place you know, and I promise I can make it all worth it for you. I might look young but I am totally a legend back home.
Alright, alright, can you just stop making those creepy moans and actually say something? I know you're excited for this but I need some real feedback over here. You want me to grab my guitar or something? I can make you super relaxed before we actually do the deed, you know. Just take a seat, I'm great at this stuff, you just have to be willing to listen to it. Just let me find my guitar case--.
Oh wait, did I hear you say something? "Braaaaains"? I don't care if you think I don't have any brains, I am the definition of studliness. Just let me get a hold of your boobs--wait. Why are you shaking your head at me? I'm gentle, babe, I'm gentle--What's this? A list of rules...Oh. The top one is "Sex". Well no rules are going to get in the way of all of this--why do I suddenly feel like more of an animal than normal?
Applicant #2
Character: Noah "Puck" Puckerman
Series: Glee
Character Age: 16
Canon: Glee is a happy musical show full of joy and joyness. It centers on a high school choir group and its wacky teenage members' wacky teenage hijinks. They play football! They deal with teen pregnancy! They eat lunch! And sometimes they do all these things while singing and dancing. McKinley High's glee club covers a fair range of teenage stereotypes, including not just one but two dumb jocks. One of these jocks is a sweet, well-meaning guy who fears he won't be able to get out of their small town with sports alone. The other is Noah Puckerman.
Puck is the bad boy of the ensemble. He's a bully with pre-class rituals that consist of chucking the gay guy into the dumpster and tossing slushies at the school's plucky young ingénue. One time he locked the disabled kid in a portable john with every intention of rolling it down a hill. Oh, yeah, and there was that time he knocked up his best friend's girl. Basically, Puck is an asshole whose machismo seems almost certain to lead him down bad roads every time. As a member of the glee club, though, he seems to be getting a genuine taste of what it feels like to be the loser. While he can't say he likes it--nor can he say he really likes anyone else in the club--he is showing signs of improvement. After all, he does want to be there for his child, he has his own pool-cleaning business and he did make a bunch of money by doing a bake sale-- granted, he sold pot brownies, but he had good intentions! So, underneath all that macho posturing, there might be a sensitive flower waiting to bloom. Or at least a decent human who just happens to like older women, can't stay without sex for too long and thinks his former bro Finn has it too damn easy.
Sample App:
I thought Zombieland was the coolest place ever. And why wouldn't I? There are dinosaurs and zombies and robot cows. I mean, who comes up with that shit? There's also Pokemon and that's kinda lame--but, hell, everything has a downside. I didn't think the animals'd be so angry, though. Seriously, you accidentally kick a squirrel and suddenly you're the bad guy. It's not like I kicked it real hard and it's not my fault it wasn't the flying kind. As it turns out the Snow White school of singing to woodland creatures to make 'em happier is total bull ... and that's how I found myself in a fistfight with a gorilla. It was kinda like taking on those big guys from the varsity wrestling team, but gorillas got no game, you know? Piece of cake. So here I am, clothes ripped, bloody lip, muddy and sexy as hell. I'd do me if that wasn't the gayest thing ever--anyway, Zombieland? Not as cool as I first thought.
The gorilla was just the beginning. I might be just as big and a lot more badass, but it still beat me up pretty bad. I got the hell outta there before its buddies came to get me--not 'cause I was scared or anything, but I figured they could try to make me their leader like Tarzan or that monkey they sent into space. Anyway, on my way I ran into this parrot with a huge beak. The thing had, like, ESPN or some crap. I swear it was yelling in my head about arriving late--which, c'mon, who doesn't arrive later than Finn? I caught it, but then another parrot swooped down and handed me a letter. Now, this letter was signed by an Elizabeth. I know you're thinking what I was thinking: camp director? More like cougar queen, right? She said to clean up the lake and wait for her there, so I took off my underwear and headed to the lakeside. I thought of cleaning up a bit, but ladies dig bad boys. Also, muddy jeans and a split lip are totally reason enough for a fine lady to get all close and concerned and invite a guy over for a shower.
So I went to the lake. She wasn't there, but I figured she was just late; she has Zombieland to run, after all. I started cleaning and... worst business decision I've ever made, seriously. At first I thought it was pretty cool they had dozens of weird props in the lake, like in the Jaws ride but with tentacles poking out of the water instead of shark fins ... Then they moved.
It wasn't a prop.
And. Wow. The stories I could tell you, man. I thought this Elizabeth was a woman, but as the tentacle crawled up to me, I thought, 'What if it isn't? What if this is one of those traps like in those comic books?' and then it hit me. This place is all some sort of alien conspiracy to draw in wild stallions like me.
You might be asking yourself where this story ends. It's cool, I won't leave you hanging. It ends as it began: with me, Puckzilla. Jock, stud, alpha male. Screaming like a girl.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Kobato Hanato
Series: Kobato.
Character Age: Early Teens
Canon: Sometimes, people's best intentions go awry. No one knows that better than Kobato Hanato. The heroine of her canon, Kobato is a young girl who wants nothing more than to heal people's hearts. Every time she succeeds, the jar she carries with her gets another crystal. It's unclear as to why, but Kobato's only goal is to fill this jar to the brim. She has no powers or forces to help her along. All she has is her own faculties and intuition, and that's bad news for her because Kobato can't help but to go about her good deeds all wrong. Constantly tripping over nothing more than her own feet, or crashing into another person on the street, Kobato is an accident waiting to happen. Her total obliviousness to the workings of the world only make things worst.
Educated largely by manga, magazines, and television, Kobato assumes most thing will play out the way they would in a movie. Not realizing that the things she reads and watches are fictional, Kobato treats these works as sources of wisdom to live by. With no sense of context and no semblance of poise or focus, she barges into situation after situation, trying to help out random passersby. It tends to fail, but Kobato is persistent and always see the glass half-full. Of course, Kobato is more than just your average klutz. She's so cheerful, cute, and ridiculously sincere, that people tend to take a liking to her. Her willingness to help them in any way she can doesn't hurt. By being herself, she manages to serve as a confidante and assistant to many sad people, and accomplish her goals, in a roundabout way. She is however, innocent and trusting to the point that others try to take advantage of her.
Sample Post:
This is so exciting! I've never been to a summer camp before, but in every anime I've seen on TV, lots of exciting things happen there. Couples falling in love, summer romances, new friendships. Summer camp must be a place where all sorts of people find the sadness in their hearts being healed. So all I have to do is find the people, help them, and I'll fit right in! I'm sure I can do it!
Now where do I find my first heart? Maybe that pale, shuffling man knows. He looks very aged and wise. Excuse me sir! Would you please let me put you at ease? O-oh no! Please don't moan like that! It sounds very painful. Now tell me what you need, and I swear I'll go get it for you! 'Brains'?! Please don't talk like that. I'm sure you're very smart. You just haven't found your calling yet. In one manga, a man goes around the world looking for his purpose and it turns out it was waiting for him back home. It was very moving, I cried at the end-- Anyways, I'm sure that if you took a trip like that, you'd discover your purpose too!
But we can't leave the camp...
Well, it's OK! We can just cut to the end of the manga where he finds his purpose waiting for him at home. This is your home, so all we have to do is look. Where would you like to search? The lake? Well, alright, I'll go search the lake, but I think it would work better if you searched too! O-oh no, please don't start moaning again, I am sure you're right. Just wait here and I'll be back soon.
Now then, I'll just look for anything washed up on shore that looks like a purpose. That's how it works, right? I'll have to look very carefully-- Owww! I think I have to remember to look where I'm going too... What was an arm even doing, lying on the ground like that?It's owner must miss it. Thank goodness there was this big, wet pillow waiting to catch me. W-wait, why is a pillow on the beach-- Oh, it's not a pillow at all. Hello, Miss Squid...
Do you know where I could find people who need me to touch them deep inside? Oh no, thank you but I don't need to be touched right now. I do appreciate the hug though... even if it was a little tight. W-wait! We hugged! Does this mean you are my first camp friendship? I'm so excited! We have to make each other friendship bracelets and roast marshmallows together, just like on TV. I'll go find us some beads and string to get started. Ahaha, you don't need to grab my ankle like that, I promise I'll be right back. What a nice squid you are, even if you don't talk much, I'm sure we'll have a heartfelt moment before the summer is over!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kokonoe Sakura
Series: Love DNA XX
Character Age: 16
Canon: In the year 2122, the last human male on Earth died as a result of a plague that stopped anyone with a Y chromosome being born. In a bizarre move, the Japanese government declares that in order to maintain traditional gender roles the remaining people will be divided into Adams, who will be raised to fulfill a man's stereotypical role, and Eves, who will be raised to fulfill a woman's. Our story finds us in 2160, at an exclusive highschool called Kingdom where Adams and Eves study separately, only meeting each other for special events.
Kokonoe Sakura is one of the Adams studying at Kingdom, and is a member of the elite upper class known as the Etoile. As a child of the Prime Minister he has led a life of extreme privilege, including living in a special mansion-like dorm at Kingdom rather than the normal one. However, Sakura is not one to lord his position over everyone else. Rather, he is something of an airhead who deals cheerfully with people based on their own merits. He also adores cats and adopted a stray he found, calling her Oscar. His friendliness should not be taken as weakness though- he has a strong competitive streak and is quite prepared to fight for his ideals.
Sample post:
I have to say, I never thought an American government research facility would look like this! But what are overseas school trips for, if not learning about other cultures? And I understand that this kind of research is very expensive, so you need to cut costs wherever possible. It's perfectly understandable that you wouldn't be able to offer us the kind of accommodation we have back home. I know I'm certainly looking forward to staying in these rustic cabins and eating at a communal mess hall while we're here. Such bare living standards will be a real test of character! It feels almost like we've gone back in time to when men were still around. I'm sure that must be the intent, to help facilitate the research into allowing them to be born again.
Anyway, thank you for the preliminary tour. It was fascinating! It's an honour to be one of the first people of this generation to see a true male gorilla. I was quite surprised when I learned that the research had already progressed this far, actually. Truly a momentous breakthrough. I know that it will take a long time to apply this technology to humans, but even these gorillas are valuable. I feel like I've learned a lot already- my textbooks never mentioned that male gorillas had purple fur. They're more beautiful than I thought. I wonder how hard it would be to keep one back home? In any case, even if they aren't human, I'm sure we can all learn about the behaviour of males by watching these creatures go about their business.
Speaking of our earlier activities, I hope Oscar didn't cause too much trouble. I did my best to keep hold of her, but she has a way of escaping me. Isn't she a cute little rascal? And never one to back down from a challenge. She was up that tree in no time at all, that's my Oscar. Of course, getting back down is always another story. Lucky I was right there to climb up after her! Neither of us knew at the time that it was another product of this facility, but I was very careful not to rip any of the underwear on the way up or down. I'm sure your experiment is unharmed, and of course my family will reimburse you if it was damaged. After all, the kind of creative thinking that creates a tree that grows clothes is just the kind of mind we want to encourage!
Poll Vote!
Character: Koshiro Aoi
Series: Love DNA XX
Character Age: 16
Canon: Imagine a world without men! That's the sort of world Love DNA XX takes place in, where males have stopped being born until the last man is dead by 2122. In order to maintain a semblance of society, the remaining women have been divided into "Adams" and "Eves" respectively in what is known as "The Eden Project". The Adams take on the traditionally male roles, keeping in effect a pseudo-patriarchal system that's not dissimilar to the previous men-dominated society. The preservation of this model goes as far as keeping Adams and Eves segregated in different divisions, training them into their "appropriate" gender. Despite this, some people come to question the validity and reason behind this division, and more drastically, they are unhappy with the monopoly the elite and powerful families have over the government that has set this system in effect.
Koshiro Aoi is not a transfer student, he's only a month late to classes. He's one of the underprivileged students sponsored into the elite boarding school, Kingdom. Orphaned at a young age, he's had a rough upbringing that resulted in his brash and dry attitude, and a healthy contempt for the Etoile who have a stern hold on the government controlled council and institutions. He arrives at Kingdom with the goal of bringing down the Etoile, whom he sees as his rivals. Despite his unkempt ways, he's actually quite the overachiever, excelling in academics and martial arts. His strong sense of justice is only matched by an inversely disproportionate sense of direction, as he's often dashing off resolutely in the wrong way.
Sample Entry:
I will definitely bring this camp down! What sort of institution deprives its people of the basic human needs? These unsanitary blood spraying showers and inedible food isn't even fit for prisoners, let alone helpless, underage campers. I find it hard to believe that a government sponsored camp could allow such conditions. So much for the pristine Etoile keeping their institutions polished and up to their superficial standards. Then again, this could very well be a ploy to keep the campers under their thumb, weakening their spirits with poisoned soup and unholy waking hours. Anyone would break under this strain, but you're not going to get me! If this camp is a test, then I'll persevere!
...Speaking of preservation, why would the Etoile hire you guys anyway? You lot don't look like the pretty sort they keep around. Heck, you don't even look clean. I'd even say you look like someone tried to kill you, repeatedly, and you just keep coming back to life over and over. Do you even bother washing the blood stains off anyway? I can see the bullet holes, stab holes, tentacle hol-- Okay, I think I'm starting to creep myself out here. The bottom line is, you look so miserable I wonder why you bother sticking around. They obviously don't feed you very well, otherwise your skin would be looking better and not all peeled off and weird like that. I bet they're keeping you weak and dismembered on purpose, so you can't fight back! Well, that's not going to happen to me. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.
Right! Now about this getting stronger thing. If I have to attend this oppressive camp, I might as well make the best of it. I guess the training grounds aren't that bad. The swamps could be a bit deeper and slippery, and outrunning all those vines was just too easy. You just have to whack them a couple of times and then they keep their hands...limbs to themselves. That tree with all the undergarments on it was a good target practice at first, but do you have any idea how hard it was to yank my practice sword out of all that lace? Such a waste of practice time I could have spent running, instead. Convincing people I wasn't a pervert with all that underwear on my stuff will take even more time than practicing.
Forget me being a pervert; put those pantyhose down right now! Aw jeez, what did you have to go and do that for? It's embarrassing just looking at you! Couldn't you have used the tatters of your clothes for the racing headbands? No, wait, I'd rather you kept your clothes on, come to think of it. I guess your pantyho-- make shift sport headbands will have to do for our running practice, for the time being. Ten laps around the lake!
Yes, I know where I'm going. Stop pointing at the other direction.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Noah Puckerman aka 'Puck'
Series: Glee
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: Somewhere in the far away land of suburban Ohio, there are some kids who have a dream. A dream of fame, everlasting glory, and continuously getting slushies thrown in their face. This dream is Glee Club, and the students of William McKinley High are living it. The group of misfits, cheerleaders, and football players that make up the Glee Club struggle continuously for acceptance, search for love, and sing show choir arrangements of everything from Nelly to Journey, all while learning that even the most different of stereotypes can come together through the power of SONG!
Puck was one of the guys who originally threw the slushies. A football player with a douche streak a mile long, Puck is a bully, and he loves to apply peer pressure where he sees fit. Even though he has a tendency to be rude and cocky, he isn't entirely bad! He's pretty insecure under all that macho posturing. He always worries about running second best to everyone, whether in the Glee club, on the football field, or even in love. He also desperately wants to get out of small town Ohio, but the fact that he has trouble standing out gets in the way. He could be that nice Jewish boy who can play the guitar and can even take care of small children, but his big ego and bigger sex drive have a tendency to mess that up. A lot.
Sample Post:
Ladies, ladies, get in line! I know everyone wants a piece of the Puckzilla, but that doesn't mean that you need to tear eachother apart just to get close to me! I don't generally go for the super dead look, but hey, I'm all about the new experiences. If you'd heard what kind of girls I've laid already, it would probably make your head spin--whoa whoa whoa, I didn't mean that literally.
And now that I've got a closer look at you, you don't really look as much as a chick as I thought you did. Are you an extra from Dawn of the Dead or something? Because that makeup is hella convincing that you're actually a zombie. Whatever, I've always wanted to know a movie star. Hey, don't look at me like that! The zombies were totally the main character in that movie anyways. We just have to keep this really quiet, people from back home might freak if I bedded someone even semi famous. Just lead me to the most private place you know, and I promise I can make it all worth it for you. I might look young but I am totally a legend back home.
Alright, alright, can you just stop making those creepy moans and actually say something? I know you're excited for this but I need some real feedback over here. You want me to grab my guitar or something? I can make you super relaxed before we actually do the deed, you know. Just take a seat, I'm great at this stuff, you just have to be willing to listen to it. Just let me find my guitar case--.
Oh wait, did I hear you say something? "Braaaaains"? I don't care if you think I don't have any brains, I am the definition of studliness. Just let me get a hold of your boobs--wait. Why are you shaking your head at me? I'm gentle, babe, I'm gentle--What's this? A list of rules...Oh. The top one is "Sex". Well no rules are going to get in the way of all of this--why do I suddenly feel like more of an animal than normal?
Applicant #2
Character: Noah "Puck" Puckerman
Series: Glee
Character Age: 16
Canon: Glee is a happy musical show full of joy and joyness. It centers on a high school choir group and its wacky teenage members' wacky teenage hijinks. They play football! They deal with teen pregnancy! They eat lunch! And sometimes they do all these things while singing and dancing. McKinley High's glee club covers a fair range of teenage stereotypes, including not just one but two dumb jocks. One of these jocks is a sweet, well-meaning guy who fears he won't be able to get out of their small town with sports alone. The other is Noah Puckerman.
Puck is the bad boy of the ensemble. He's a bully with pre-class rituals that consist of chucking the gay guy into the dumpster and tossing slushies at the school's plucky young ingénue. One time he locked the disabled kid in a portable john with every intention of rolling it down a hill. Oh, yeah, and there was that time he knocked up his best friend's girl. Basically, Puck is an asshole whose machismo seems almost certain to lead him down bad roads every time. As a member of the glee club, though, he seems to be getting a genuine taste of what it feels like to be the loser. While he can't say he likes it--nor can he say he really likes anyone else in the club--he is showing signs of improvement. After all, he does want to be there for his child, he has his own pool-cleaning business and he did make a bunch of money by doing a bake sale-- granted, he sold pot brownies, but he had good intentions! So, underneath all that macho posturing, there might be a sensitive flower waiting to bloom. Or at least a decent human who just happens to like older women, can't stay without sex for too long and thinks his former bro Finn has it too damn easy.
Sample App:
I thought Zombieland was the coolest place ever. And why wouldn't I? There are dinosaurs and zombies and robot cows. I mean, who comes up with that shit? There's also Pokemon and that's kinda lame--but, hell, everything has a downside. I didn't think the animals'd be so angry, though. Seriously, you accidentally kick a squirrel and suddenly you're the bad guy. It's not like I kicked it real hard and it's not my fault it wasn't the flying kind. As it turns out the Snow White school of singing to woodland creatures to make 'em happier is total bull ... and that's how I found myself in a fistfight with a gorilla. It was kinda like taking on those big guys from the varsity wrestling team, but gorillas got no game, you know? Piece of cake. So here I am, clothes ripped, bloody lip, muddy and sexy as hell. I'd do me if that wasn't the gayest thing ever--anyway, Zombieland? Not as cool as I first thought.
The gorilla was just the beginning. I might be just as big and a lot more badass, but it still beat me up pretty bad. I got the hell outta there before its buddies came to get me--not 'cause I was scared or anything, but I figured they could try to make me their leader like Tarzan or that monkey they sent into space. Anyway, on my way I ran into this parrot with a huge beak. The thing had, like, ESPN or some crap. I swear it was yelling in my head about arriving late--which, c'mon, who doesn't arrive later than Finn? I caught it, but then another parrot swooped down and handed me a letter. Now, this letter was signed by an Elizabeth. I know you're thinking what I was thinking: camp director? More like cougar queen, right? She said to clean up the lake and wait for her there, so I took off my underwear and headed to the lakeside. I thought of cleaning up a bit, but ladies dig bad boys. Also, muddy jeans and a split lip are totally reason enough for a fine lady to get all close and concerned and invite a guy over for a shower.
So I went to the lake. She wasn't there, but I figured she was just late; she has Zombieland to run, after all. I started cleaning and... worst business decision I've ever made, seriously. At first I thought it was pretty cool they had dozens of weird props in the lake, like in the Jaws ride but with tentacles poking out of the water instead of shark fins ... Then they moved.
It wasn't a prop.
And. Wow. The stories I could tell you, man. I thought this Elizabeth was a woman, but as the tentacle crawled up to me, I thought, 'What if it isn't? What if this is one of those traps like in those comic books?' and then it hit me. This place is all some sort of alien conspiracy to draw in wild stallions like me.
You might be asking yourself where this story ends. It's cool, I won't leave you hanging. It ends as it began: with me, Puckzilla. Jock, stud, alpha male. Screaming like a girl.
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