(no subject)
Yzak is actually awake at this hour what is this madness!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE CLOSED.
Character: Ranka Lee
Series: Macross Frontier
Age: 16
Canon: The Frontier is a great big space convoy, a fleet of massive city-ships truckin' through the galaxy in search of new habitable planets. Its mission is threatened, however, by a swarm of hostile space bugs known as the Vajra. As per usual for Macross, the solutions to this problem lie in transforming spaceplanes and the POWER OF MUSIC!
Ranka Lee is one of the main characters and one of Frontier's principle sources of music power. When we first meet her, she's a part-time waitress with stars in her eyes and a touch of trauma-induced amnesia. A chance encounter with her idol--interstellar sensation Sheryl Nome--spurs Ranka into pursuing her own dream of becoming a singer, and (after a few false starts) she soon begins a meteoric rise to fame. This sudden success takes on a mixed note, though, when Ranka is thrust into the role of Frontier's savior after it's discovered that her singing has the power to influence the Vajra. Ranka is deeply ambivalent about her role in the war, and her uncertainty that she's doing the right thing is compounded by the mysterious fact that she's able to feel the pain of the Vajra when they're killed.
Overall, Ranka is an energetic, upbeat, somewhat naive girl; these aspects of her personality give her a sort of wholesome, cute charisma as a performer. However, she suffers crises of confidence from time to time, be they related to her career or her feelings for Alto, Macross F's grumpy male lead. (It's hard when your rival in love is a bold, glamorous woman like Sheryl!) Her Big Character Arc is her finding the courage to say and do what she really wants to. Ranka is also a compassionate person; despite the seemingly incomprehensible hostility of the Vajra and the fact that one of their attacks triggered her amnesia, she eventually seeks a peaceful end to the war with them.
p.s. "Everyone, embrace me! To the ends of the galaxy!" is Ranka's concert-opening catchphrase.
Sample Post:
Hellooooo everyone! This is Ranka Lee, and I'm so happy to be here! Thank you all so much for inviting me to your world! It's an honor, you know, to be asked to perform at a charity event--but you'll have to forgive me, what's "Unde-aid" supposed to be benefiting? I mean, I'm sure it's a great cause! But my manager wasn't too clear on it either; all he could tell me was that this was a super-big event people would crawl out of their own graves not to miss. Those were his exact words--so c'mon, let's make 'em as close to the truth as we...possibly...can...I-I--oh! I. Get it. You guys've already started to do that by dressing up as zombies, right? Right? Please tell me I'm right. That's--that's real enthusiasm, that's great! I can sme--sense your excitement, but you guys, you're kinda sca--crowding me a little! What's that? Oh, don't worry, there'll be an autograph signing after the show, and I'll be happy to sign anything you've got then--what?! Sir, please, "engrave it on your liver" is just an old figure of speech, I can't literally...um! I think I have to go check out the stage now.
Uwaaa, wow, the show's gonna be at lakeside? Pretty...! And that's some really creative lighting, how'd you get the lake to glow like that? ..."Lax waste-disposal laws?" What's that supposed to mean? I don't want to know? Why do I get the feeling that in this case, I seriously don't...well, it's--it's a nice effect! Those waving pillar...things I can see out in the water are also pretty unique. They look kinda like...vines? Are they gonna move in time with my dancing or something? ..."If Marcy's enjoying herself?" Okay, I think I, I need to go sit down a little before we get started, I'm not feeling so well. Deep breaths, Ranka, deep breaths! I knew there'd be hard days when I chose this path, but all this...it's like some terrible prank...sigh...
No, Ranka, c'mon! You've had harder jobs than this and you know it! Besides, you're a pro now, you can't let things like this slow you down! All right, it's time to get up on that stage and show 'em what I'm made of. Here I go!
Everyone, embrace me! To the ends of the gala--
T-That wasn't a literal invitation, Marcy-san!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jaime Reyes
Series: DC Comics/Blue Beetle
Character Age: 16
Canon: You know those people who wake up with superpowers and know exactly what to do with them? Jaime Reyes is not one of them. Jaime didn't really listen to his mom when she told him not to pick weird things up off the street, and the weird rock he found in a parking lot turned out to be an alien intelligence that wanted to make a home in his spine. Jaime was not consulted in this decision... or the one that stranded him in space for a year... or that time that the owners of said alien intelligence turned up and wanted to enslave the human race. Really, he just wants to get through school, understand girls, and become a dentist to support his family. Instead he's learning how to be a superhero: dealing with loss, sacrifice and putting his family in danger because of who and what he is. On the upside, he's learned to hover!
Outside of his super cool alien suit that can do anything it wants (sometimes it even asks first), Jaime is a very ordinary, geeky teenaged boy. He's awkwardly self-conscious, self-depreciating, and really, really sucks at banter. He is, however, fairly smart and good at thinking on his feet, even if his thought processes tend more toward neurotic babble than anything. Despite being better at strategy than fieldwork, Jaime's determined to live up to the heroic legacy of Blue Beetle. So far? He seems to be doing a pretty okay job. Even Batman thinks so.
Sample Post:
Okay, not that I'm trying to tell you how to do your job or anything? But I'm pretty sure the "top secret" part of your top secret monster lab works a lot better when you don't let the monsters walk out the front door. It's, like, the opposite of secret. Anti-secret. And then somebody has to clean up after you, which is really not as easy as it sounds - where did you get the parts for these things anyway, Bargain Basement? - and- okay, maybe I am telling you how to do your job, but you totally suck at it. I mean, zombies? Seriously? Have you ever even seen a horror movie? Somebody always gets bit, and there's some lesson about... consumerism, or... whatever, the point is that there's no way it ever ends well for anybody. Not that I'm opposed to you sucking - and feel free to keep doing a crappy job at being evil, by the way - but could you at least suck in a way that doesn't make my life a lot harder?
... And, uh, okay, for the record? That's the part where you're supposed to use your super fancy speaker systems to say something evil and... not make it look like I've been talking to myself. Because you're probably not even here. Which is totally not awkward. Right, uh. Note for next time: actually look for the supervillain, then do the speech. Or... skip the speech. Is the speech required? 'Cause I know the whole banter thing is supposed to be traditional, but I'm pretty sure I'm not doing myself any favors. And... "brains"? Okay, that is a level of stereotypical I did not expect. Really? Really? Wow.
Yeah, I take that back. Whoever built this place? Way too many horror movies. Not that they aren't great and all, but dude, get a hobby. ... Another hobby. It's always "weird science" and reanimating corpses and- wow, I am ninety percent sure that is actually supposed to be the tree from Evil Dead. That is just officially past creepy. Seriously, why can't it ever be model trains, or stamp collecting, or, like... curing cancer, or something? Not that I'd be fighting someone trying to cure cancer, but that's not the point. The point is...
... you know? Whatever. I can do this too. Hey! You guys. Listen up. I'm the Blue Beetle. And see this? This is my boomstick.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Kururugi Suzaku
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2
Age: 18
Canon: Code Geass is a story of bleak futuristic totalitarian regimes and the people who fight them... with lots of political intrigue, giant warring robots, some magic, and healthy doses of angst. The chief protagonist, Lelouch vi Britannia, vows revenge and plans to create a better world for his little sister after their mother is killed and they are exiled to Japan. Believed to be dead, he dons the mask of Zero and leads the Japanese in a rebellion against oppressive Britannia.
Suzaku is Lelouch's childhood friend. He begins the series as a Japanese citizen working for the Britannian military, idealistically convinced that he can bring peace to Japan by working from within the system. He can't stand injustice and always tries to defend the innocent. Extremely skilled in combat, serious, loyal, and admittedly lacking in self-preservation, he rises swiftly through the ranks and often clashes with Zero. But when he finds that trying to work through the system will still only cause more innocent deaths, he joins forces with Lelouch. It is important to note that while at this point in the series he becomes very rigid in his beliefs, he can also sometimes be kind and personable with others.
Note: Suzaku is taken from the end of Turn 21, during his time as Knight of Zero.
Sample Entry:
Citizens of "Camp Fuck You Die," I've come here to speak to the Director. I've recently received reports from the Moogle Organization, who have been collecting and storing information on this place and its impact on the citizens here for more than five years, often at the risk of their own lives. When I read about the tortures that go on, I couldn't just stand by. I had to see it for myself. It seems that it's all true. Mutant animals harassing campers? Meals of questionable content? Gender switching diseases? With treatment like this, the people in charge obviously don't respect any of their citizens.
Not only that, but the campers have no chance of escape, with the barrier in place! While the reports say everyone here is accused of murdering the director's fiancé, I can't imagine how any type of fair investigation can be held in these circumstances, especially with over 800 suspects. There's no way the Director should be able to lock these people up without a fair trial.
I'm sure the campers tried to change these injustices by working diplomatically, but the only other authorities here are those purple gorillas. From what I've seen, the Director lets them do whatever they want. They even throw campers out of cabins into the cold for oversleeping. That is in no way just! Just look at the effects on this citizen. His skin is much too pale, and that dark circle under his one remaining eye shows that he hasn't slept in weeks. When I tried to question him about his condition earlier, all I could make out was "urrrggghh." He's obviously too exhausted to even speak.
I guess this must be how the Director gets her work done, by forcing people to strain until they're literally falling apart. And to keep them moving when they look like death, there has to be sort of magic involved, bending their wills...this can't be allowed to continue!
The Moogles were right. This situation is urgent. Campers shouldn't be forced to live like this! Without dignity, free will, or any chance of escape! There's only one way to make a better life in this place.
As the Knight of Zero, by the authority bestowed to me through the Emperor of Britannia, I hereby take Camp Fuck You Die under Britannia's protection! Tell the Director I will do what is necessary to make sure everyone has the right to free--did you say "brains?" Yes, I understand, the right to a free mind!
...I didn't expect volunteers.
Poll Vote!
Name: Ce'Nedra
Series: The Belgariad - David Eddings
Age: 16 (As of the end of Enchanter's End Game)
Canon: The classic story of a hero on an epic quest, the fight of good vs evil, a beautiful princess in waiting... that about sums up The Belgariad in a nutshell. However, this particular princess has a bark worse than her bite. Imperial Princess Ce'Nedra of the Tolnedran Empire and Jewel of the House of Borune is not here to be rescue fodder, if you please, and she'll thank you to remember it. And possibly all her titles, too. After all, she only reminds herself of them around fifty times a day.
Bossy, arrogant and entitled beyond belief, Ce'Nedra has been brought up in a position of power and as the center of attention her entire life. Such an upbringing has also taught her to be proud and stubborn, often going to great lengths to ensure she gets her own way or the last word. And when she's not doing that, she's being flighty instead, occasionally just to be contrary. That's not to say that her personality is entirely sour, however-- when it pleases her, Ce'Nedra can be positively charming. Throughout the course of the series she does gradually mature and learn to be a little less selfish, although it'd probably be better to say that it's still an ongoing process.
Sample Post:
This simply will not do. I will not stand to be waited on by servants who can't even keep to a minimum level of filth, nor abide by any kingdom that condones it. Tell me, who has done this to you? Speak clearly, so that I may correct the situation at once. You know, this would never happen in my kingdom-- we afford our servants with enough to at least feed, clothe and wash themselves! That's how you keep this limb rotting disease from spreading, you know. I beg your pardon, but are you even listening to me? Don't you dare ignore me while I'm trying to educate you! ... Oh, I don't understand why some servants can be so utterly impossible!
It's amazing they've still got their jobs, honestly. I'm not being unfair, the standards here really are grossly improper, even for such a ... quaint kingdom. They can't have conveyed my arrival to the Lady Elizabeth very well, or I wouldn't still be standing out here. They surely wouldn't dare to do this on purpose, it's unseemly. What if it rained, or snowed? It is winter, after all. Any longer and I'm going to lose my royal composure. Hardly a good way to start treaty negotiations. I should hate to think that this how this country treats all its royal guests. Well, I won't stand for it. You there, I demand you send for the Lady Elizabeth at once! And you can consider that an Imperial order.
... Oh, for goodness sake, I can't believe this is taking so long. All this waiting is absolutely intolerable! Where is that woman? I'm really beginning to wonder how genuine the Lady Elizabeth is about cementing friendly relations with the West, you know. I have to say, I'm not really in the right frame of mind to negotiate with this kingdom anymore. I can't much see how it would be at all profitable. The climate here is dreadful, it's a wonder how they farm anything at all in the way of produce. I've just never understood how people can stand to live in these muggy swamps. Why don't they all just migrate? The border isn't that far.
Speaking of the journey from the border, I thought that this country's royal guard was supposed to escort me from here. I know that they're not elected to the position for their brightness, but I can't imagine what's taking them so long to arrive. If something happened to me while they were lagging behind, it'd probably mean their heads. Or at least a dungeon. Do they forget who I am? I shall have to report this sort of behavior.
Well, no matter. I am who I am, an Imperial Princess of Tolnedra, the Jewel of the House of Borune and the Rivan Queen, and guard or no guard, I can take care of myself. If the Lady Elizabeth shall not grace me with her presence nor the servants show me my quarters, I shall have to take matters in to my own hands. If she thinks to humiliate me by leaving me standing here like an idiot, she can think again. As soon as I find the kitchens and inform them of my arrival, I'm sure that the banquet will follow soon after in my honor. And sampling the local delicacies will be an excellent way to investigate the true worth of their produce. I've never tasted a "tuesday", but I have heard that the soup they make from it is to die for.
Yes, I think that will do nicely. Let's see her ignore me after all that. Hm, I think not.
Poll Vote!
Character: Canada / Matthew Williams
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears about 19
Canon: Based around history, Axis Powers Hetalia is a series that explores the question of what history would be like if the countries we live in were suddenly anthropomorphized and could interact with one another. Starting in World War II and with the Allies, we're taken on an adventure that eventually leads to the introduction of even more countries, each with their own unique personalities and stories to add to the mix. Among the many countries that get introduced in the series, one of them is Canada.
If you're asking yourself "who?" you aren't alone. Often overlooked, quite literally, Canada is the sort of person who's forgotten about half of the time and confused as his brother America for the other half of it. It's not really his fault he happens to be a pretty plain guy with no real quirks; he never gets into any trouble, and always strives to accomplish things he puts his mind to. He's an all around nice guy, easy going and honest, but he does have his moments of frustration, and generally shows it in a rather passive-aggressive manner. Though by no means a pushover, he's apt to go along politely with people when necessary to avoid serious conflict and let things go smoothly. It's tough being outshined, but he's determined to let everyone know just who Canada is... next time.
Sample Post:
Okay, ladies and gentlemen and, well... zombies and gorillas, too... Today we're gathered out here to make Camp Fuck You Die's first official hockey team! And I'm the one who's going to be mentoring you. I'd like to start by saying those sticks you're holding can be used for something more productive than hitting each other. Since you're already on the ice, all we need is something we can use to hit around like a puck. Oh, um, but I wonder if we can't find something more appropriate to use than this head? Normally when you play hockey you use something a little smaller that's easier to maneuver and not so... disturbing. Ah, there's no need to get upset; I had no intention of offending you with my careless choice of words! If it's really what you have your heart set on using, we'll use it. So keep those sticks on the ice before you accidentally do something you might regret like injuring a teammate.
Everyone on the left is Team A, and those on the right are Team B, and if I could get the two zombies near the back to be the goalies, that would be great. The only thing you goalies need to do is keep the, um, puck from getting in your net; everyone else please remember the only time you should be swinging your sticks around is when you're going for the goal-- Hey, wait, why are you all heading off of the ice? It might not seem important to have a hockey team, but regular exercise can lead to stronger, more durable bodies that won't fall apart as much as you all seem to be doing. Not to mention it's certainly a more productive hobby to have rather than going after the brains of those poor campers. Now, back to training! Whenever you're ready, bring the stick back and swing it forward as fast and hard as you can to hit the puck. That's good so far; your hands are nice and steady, good posture, all that's left is to draw back the stick and--
Well, okay. It's hard to say whether that was a fair shot or not seeing as how Team A's goalie is missing the leg that could have easily made the winning save. But that's nothing to get in a fight over! Keeping score isn't all that important when you're getting started; you should walk away from this knowing that each of you gave it your all, and that's what makes a winner! Give yourselves a nice pat on the back-- if you can, that is. Ah, those of you with extra hands might want to give those without any hands some help. How were you playing hockey in the first place? Anyway, the point is you all did a great job today and with even more practice and hard work you'll be ready to represent yourselves as Camp's first hockey team.
Don't worry about thanking me, you would have picked it up by yourselves in no time-- Oh, um, you're talking to that gorilla over there, aren't you? Maybe I'm mistaking why you're thanking him for teaching you the basics of hockey, but it was me who helped you learn the importance of good stick handling back there. We were on the ice having a great time not even a second ago, remember? That's all right if you want to keep thanking him... Try to remember me next time, please...?
Poll Vote!
Character: 00.07/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: The Umbrella Academy
Age: 12
Canon: It began with the atomic flying elbow of "Tusslin' Tom," whose fateful defeat of a space squid from Rigel X-9 spontaneously caused the birth of the seven children of the Umbrella Academy. In a world where space aliens are considered legitimate adoptive fathers, zombie architects attempt to take over the world, and chimps can talk and join punk rock bands, the Umbrella Academy was raised to save the world, although no one ever specified why the world needed saving in the first place. The children, despite having more issues than the comic itself, actually do manage to save the world time and time again and enjoy the spoils of their success - ice cream.
Vanya, originally known as 00.07, is the only member of The Umbrella Academy with no obvious supernatural ability. In a family of misfit children with bizarre powers and rather destructive natures, Vanya is the true outcast, and she knows it. Her family ignores her, her adoptive father, Sir Monocle, provides a constant stream of criticism, and her only true friend is the talking chimp Pogo. She is left behind on missions, and instead spends her time developing her skills on the violin, the one thing she seems to excel at. Vanya is an insecure and lonely little girl, who doubts herself constantly and wishes she was special like the others. She discounts her own skills on the violin, despite Pogo’s encouragement, and despairs over her own uselessness. She is still receptive to affection, though it’s rarely given to her. There’s also anger building inside her due to the continued isolation she is subjected to, and this anger grows as she does. Vanya may one day be transformed into The End of the World, but for now she’s just a sad little girl wishing to be anything but ordinary.
Note: Taking Vanya from around the time period depicted in the first scenes of Volume 4 of Apocalypse Suite.
Sample Post:
I knew it was too good to be true. There was no way Dad - Sir Monocle, I mean - would ever send me to a real summer camp. Even as a way to get me out of their hair, my family would never send me somewhere cool. It’s not like I saved the world last week with the others. I barely cleaned my room! This must be some sort of punishment, but at least I'm away from the mansion and on my own for once. I won't miss them, and anywhere is better than home, no matter what kind of camp this is. I figured it’d be some sort of music camp, since playing the violin is the only thing I’m any good at. I brought my violin just in case, but I don't see any instruments or musicians or a stage, just a swamp and a few old buildings. It actually looks pretty deserted, which is fine with me. People don't like me very much, and I’m not a huge fan of them either.
I did run into a gorilla earlier, but he was nothing like the chimps I know back home. He was purple, and he didn't even talk! I tried to be friendly, but he didn't respond at all. It's too bad, since chimps, and I'm guessing gorillas too, make good friends and even better audiences. Maybe he can talk, but he doesn't think I'm interesting enough to bother with. That’s more likely. Or maybe he's ordinary like me. I bet that's what this camp is for! A place for everyone and everything that isn’t special. No wonder I was sent here.
And no wonder I'm still alone in this dumb swamp! Even at a summer camp for losers there aren't any other kids like me. I guess it makes sense. It’s not like I’ve ever met anyone as useless as me before, why should it be any different here? There's some rustling in the bushes but I bet it's just another stupid gorilla that won't even talk- Was that a voice? That didn't sound like a gorilla to me, and why would it want brains? I guess there are people here. ...Um, actually there's a whole horde of them and they're shuffling this way. Is that boy actually missing an arm? I think they must be zombies, or something equally undead. But, the zombies I’ve heard of wanted to take over the world, not just take my brain. I’m sure my brain wouldn’t be that great anyway. My brain’s certainly not as good as the brains of special people. The one time having my family around would actually come in handy… They would be a much tastier source of brains. Or, you know, they could actually fight them.
Maybe this was the whole idea of sending me here: let the creepy camp zombies eat the useless spare. There’s nothing I can do to defeat them, and all I have is this stupid violin, which is no help whatsoever. This is exactly why I was never allowed to play with the others! Wait-Did that zombie just say “Plaaay?” He definitely did, and now the others are joining him. Do they want me to play my violin? I guess I should, since they seem pretty demanding. I hope they like a nice concerto. Or maybe I could play a funeral dirge, something they might have heard before. Um, wow, they seem to be enjoying it. This is definitely the biggest audience I’ve ever had, and the most enthusiastic. Who knew I would get such a great response? I wonder if this deserves an ice cream reward. But really, zombies with an appreciation for classical music? That seems pretty special to me. Not that I want to stop playing or anything-it might upset them. And the last thing I need right now is an emergency lobotomy.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE CLOSED.
Character: Ranka Lee
Series: Macross Frontier
Age: 16
Canon: The Frontier is a great big space convoy, a fleet of massive city-ships truckin' through the galaxy in search of new habitable planets. Its mission is threatened, however, by a swarm of hostile space bugs known as the Vajra. As per usual for Macross, the solutions to this problem lie in transforming spaceplanes and the POWER OF MUSIC!
Ranka Lee is one of the main characters and one of Frontier's principle sources of music power. When we first meet her, she's a part-time waitress with stars in her eyes and a touch of trauma-induced amnesia. A chance encounter with her idol--interstellar sensation Sheryl Nome--spurs Ranka into pursuing her own dream of becoming a singer, and (after a few false starts) she soon begins a meteoric rise to fame. This sudden success takes on a mixed note, though, when Ranka is thrust into the role of Frontier's savior after it's discovered that her singing has the power to influence the Vajra. Ranka is deeply ambivalent about her role in the war, and her uncertainty that she's doing the right thing is compounded by the mysterious fact that she's able to feel the pain of the Vajra when they're killed.
Overall, Ranka is an energetic, upbeat, somewhat naive girl; these aspects of her personality give her a sort of wholesome, cute charisma as a performer. However, she suffers crises of confidence from time to time, be they related to her career or her feelings for Alto, Macross F's grumpy male lead. (It's hard when your rival in love is a bold, glamorous woman like Sheryl!) Her Big Character Arc is her finding the courage to say and do what she really wants to. Ranka is also a compassionate person; despite the seemingly incomprehensible hostility of the Vajra and the fact that one of their attacks triggered her amnesia, she eventually seeks a peaceful end to the war with them.
p.s. "Everyone, embrace me! To the ends of the galaxy!" is Ranka's concert-opening catchphrase.
Sample Post:
Hellooooo everyone! This is Ranka Lee, and I'm so happy to be here! Thank you all so much for inviting me to your world! It's an honor, you know, to be asked to perform at a charity event--but you'll have to forgive me, what's "Unde-aid" supposed to be benefiting? I mean, I'm sure it's a great cause! But my manager wasn't too clear on it either; all he could tell me was that this was a super-big event people would crawl out of their own graves not to miss. Those were his exact words--so c'mon, let's make 'em as close to the truth as we...possibly...can...I-I--oh! I. Get it. You guys've already started to do that by dressing up as zombies, right? Right? Please tell me I'm right. That's--that's real enthusiasm, that's great! I can sme--sense your excitement, but you guys, you're kinda sca--crowding me a little! What's that? Oh, don't worry, there'll be an autograph signing after the show, and I'll be happy to sign anything you've got then--what?! Sir, please, "engrave it on your liver" is just an old figure of speech, I can't literally...um! I think I have to go check out the stage now.
Uwaaa, wow, the show's gonna be at lakeside? Pretty...! And that's some really creative lighting, how'd you get the lake to glow like that? ..."Lax waste-disposal laws?" What's that supposed to mean? I don't want to know? Why do I get the feeling that in this case, I seriously don't...well, it's--it's a nice effect! Those waving pillar...things I can see out in the water are also pretty unique. They look kinda like...vines? Are they gonna move in time with my dancing or something? ..."If Marcy's enjoying herself?" Okay, I think I, I need to go sit down a little before we get started, I'm not feeling so well. Deep breaths, Ranka, deep breaths! I knew there'd be hard days when I chose this path, but all this...it's like some terrible prank...sigh...
No, Ranka, c'mon! You've had harder jobs than this and you know it! Besides, you're a pro now, you can't let things like this slow you down! All right, it's time to get up on that stage and show 'em what I'm made of. Here I go!
Everyone, embrace me! To the ends of the gala--
T-That wasn't a literal invitation, Marcy-san!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jaime Reyes
Series: DC Comics/Blue Beetle
Character Age: 16
Canon: You know those people who wake up with superpowers and know exactly what to do with them? Jaime Reyes is not one of them. Jaime didn't really listen to his mom when she told him not to pick weird things up off the street, and the weird rock he found in a parking lot turned out to be an alien intelligence that wanted to make a home in his spine. Jaime was not consulted in this decision... or the one that stranded him in space for a year... or that time that the owners of said alien intelligence turned up and wanted to enslave the human race. Really, he just wants to get through school, understand girls, and become a dentist to support his family. Instead he's learning how to be a superhero: dealing with loss, sacrifice and putting his family in danger because of who and what he is. On the upside, he's learned to hover!
Outside of his super cool alien suit that can do anything it wants (sometimes it even asks first), Jaime is a very ordinary, geeky teenaged boy. He's awkwardly self-conscious, self-depreciating, and really, really sucks at banter. He is, however, fairly smart and good at thinking on his feet, even if his thought processes tend more toward neurotic babble than anything. Despite being better at strategy than fieldwork, Jaime's determined to live up to the heroic legacy of Blue Beetle. So far? He seems to be doing a pretty okay job. Even Batman thinks so.
Sample Post:
Okay, not that I'm trying to tell you how to do your job or anything? But I'm pretty sure the "top secret" part of your top secret monster lab works a lot better when you don't let the monsters walk out the front door. It's, like, the opposite of secret. Anti-secret. And then somebody has to clean up after you, which is really not as easy as it sounds - where did you get the parts for these things anyway, Bargain Basement? - and- okay, maybe I am telling you how to do your job, but you totally suck at it. I mean, zombies? Seriously? Have you ever even seen a horror movie? Somebody always gets bit, and there's some lesson about... consumerism, or... whatever, the point is that there's no way it ever ends well for anybody. Not that I'm opposed to you sucking - and feel free to keep doing a crappy job at being evil, by the way - but could you at least suck in a way that doesn't make my life a lot harder?
... And, uh, okay, for the record? That's the part where you're supposed to use your super fancy speaker systems to say something evil and... not make it look like I've been talking to myself. Because you're probably not even here. Which is totally not awkward. Right, uh. Note for next time: actually look for the supervillain, then do the speech. Or... skip the speech. Is the speech required? 'Cause I know the whole banter thing is supposed to be traditional, but I'm pretty sure I'm not doing myself any favors. And... "brains"? Okay, that is a level of stereotypical I did not expect. Really? Really? Wow.
Yeah, I take that back. Whoever built this place? Way too many horror movies. Not that they aren't great and all, but dude, get a hobby. ... Another hobby. It's always "weird science" and reanimating corpses and- wow, I am ninety percent sure that is actually supposed to be the tree from Evil Dead. That is just officially past creepy. Seriously, why can't it ever be model trains, or stamp collecting, or, like... curing cancer, or something? Not that I'd be fighting someone trying to cure cancer, but that's not the point. The point is...
... you know? Whatever. I can do this too. Hey! You guys. Listen up. I'm the Blue Beetle. And see this? This is my boomstick.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Kururugi Suzaku
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2
Age: 18
Canon: Code Geass is a story of bleak futuristic totalitarian regimes and the people who fight them... with lots of political intrigue, giant warring robots, some magic, and healthy doses of angst. The chief protagonist, Lelouch vi Britannia, vows revenge and plans to create a better world for his little sister after their mother is killed and they are exiled to Japan. Believed to be dead, he dons the mask of Zero and leads the Japanese in a rebellion against oppressive Britannia.
Suzaku is Lelouch's childhood friend. He begins the series as a Japanese citizen working for the Britannian military, idealistically convinced that he can bring peace to Japan by working from within the system. He can't stand injustice and always tries to defend the innocent. Extremely skilled in combat, serious, loyal, and admittedly lacking in self-preservation, he rises swiftly through the ranks and often clashes with Zero. But when he finds that trying to work through the system will still only cause more innocent deaths, he joins forces with Lelouch. It is important to note that while at this point in the series he becomes very rigid in his beliefs, he can also sometimes be kind and personable with others.
Note: Suzaku is taken from the end of Turn 21, during his time as Knight of Zero.
Sample Entry:
Citizens of "Camp Fuck You Die," I've come here to speak to the Director. I've recently received reports from the Moogle Organization, who have been collecting and storing information on this place and its impact on the citizens here for more than five years, often at the risk of their own lives. When I read about the tortures that go on, I couldn't just stand by. I had to see it for myself. It seems that it's all true. Mutant animals harassing campers? Meals of questionable content? Gender switching diseases? With treatment like this, the people in charge obviously don't respect any of their citizens.
Not only that, but the campers have no chance of escape, with the barrier in place! While the reports say everyone here is accused of murdering the director's fiancé, I can't imagine how any type of fair investigation can be held in these circumstances, especially with over 800 suspects. There's no way the Director should be able to lock these people up without a fair trial.
I'm sure the campers tried to change these injustices by working diplomatically, but the only other authorities here are those purple gorillas. From what I've seen, the Director lets them do whatever they want. They even throw campers out of cabins into the cold for oversleeping. That is in no way just! Just look at the effects on this citizen. His skin is much too pale, and that dark circle under his one remaining eye shows that he hasn't slept in weeks. When I tried to question him about his condition earlier, all I could make out was "urrrggghh." He's obviously too exhausted to even speak.
I guess this must be how the Director gets her work done, by forcing people to strain until they're literally falling apart. And to keep them moving when they look like death, there has to be sort of magic involved, bending their wills...this can't be allowed to continue!
The Moogles were right. This situation is urgent. Campers shouldn't be forced to live like this! Without dignity, free will, or any chance of escape! There's only one way to make a better life in this place.
As the Knight of Zero, by the authority bestowed to me through the Emperor of Britannia, I hereby take Camp Fuck You Die under Britannia's protection! Tell the Director I will do what is necessary to make sure everyone has the right to free--did you say "brains?" Yes, I understand, the right to a free mind!
...I didn't expect volunteers.
Poll Vote!
Name: Ce'Nedra
Series: The Belgariad - David Eddings
Age: 16 (As of the end of Enchanter's End Game)
Canon: The classic story of a hero on an epic quest, the fight of good vs evil, a beautiful princess in waiting... that about sums up The Belgariad in a nutshell. However, this particular princess has a bark worse than her bite. Imperial Princess Ce'Nedra of the Tolnedran Empire and Jewel of the House of Borune is not here to be rescue fodder, if you please, and she'll thank you to remember it. And possibly all her titles, too. After all, she only reminds herself of them around fifty times a day.
Bossy, arrogant and entitled beyond belief, Ce'Nedra has been brought up in a position of power and as the center of attention her entire life. Such an upbringing has also taught her to be proud and stubborn, often going to great lengths to ensure she gets her own way or the last word. And when she's not doing that, she's being flighty instead, occasionally just to be contrary. That's not to say that her personality is entirely sour, however-- when it pleases her, Ce'Nedra can be positively charming. Throughout the course of the series she does gradually mature and learn to be a little less selfish, although it'd probably be better to say that it's still an ongoing process.
Sample Post:
This simply will not do. I will not stand to be waited on by servants who can't even keep to a minimum level of filth, nor abide by any kingdom that condones it. Tell me, who has done this to you? Speak clearly, so that I may correct the situation at once. You know, this would never happen in my kingdom-- we afford our servants with enough to at least feed, clothe and wash themselves! That's how you keep this limb rotting disease from spreading, you know. I beg your pardon, but are you even listening to me? Don't you dare ignore me while I'm trying to educate you! ... Oh, I don't understand why some servants can be so utterly impossible!
It's amazing they've still got their jobs, honestly. I'm not being unfair, the standards here really are grossly improper, even for such a ... quaint kingdom. They can't have conveyed my arrival to the Lady Elizabeth very well, or I wouldn't still be standing out here. They surely wouldn't dare to do this on purpose, it's unseemly. What if it rained, or snowed? It is winter, after all. Any longer and I'm going to lose my royal composure. Hardly a good way to start treaty negotiations. I should hate to think that this how this country treats all its royal guests. Well, I won't stand for it. You there, I demand you send for the Lady Elizabeth at once! And you can consider that an Imperial order.
... Oh, for goodness sake, I can't believe this is taking so long. All this waiting is absolutely intolerable! Where is that woman? I'm really beginning to wonder how genuine the Lady Elizabeth is about cementing friendly relations with the West, you know. I have to say, I'm not really in the right frame of mind to negotiate with this kingdom anymore. I can't much see how it would be at all profitable. The climate here is dreadful, it's a wonder how they farm anything at all in the way of produce. I've just never understood how people can stand to live in these muggy swamps. Why don't they all just migrate? The border isn't that far.
Speaking of the journey from the border, I thought that this country's royal guard was supposed to escort me from here. I know that they're not elected to the position for their brightness, but I can't imagine what's taking them so long to arrive. If something happened to me while they were lagging behind, it'd probably mean their heads. Or at least a dungeon. Do they forget who I am? I shall have to report this sort of behavior.
Well, no matter. I am who I am, an Imperial Princess of Tolnedra, the Jewel of the House of Borune and the Rivan Queen, and guard or no guard, I can take care of myself. If the Lady Elizabeth shall not grace me with her presence nor the servants show me my quarters, I shall have to take matters in to my own hands. If she thinks to humiliate me by leaving me standing here like an idiot, she can think again. As soon as I find the kitchens and inform them of my arrival, I'm sure that the banquet will follow soon after in my honor. And sampling the local delicacies will be an excellent way to investigate the true worth of their produce. I've never tasted a "tuesday", but I have heard that the soup they make from it is to die for.
Yes, I think that will do nicely. Let's see her ignore me after all that. Hm, I think not.
Poll Vote!
Character: Canada / Matthew Williams
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears about 19
Canon: Based around history, Axis Powers Hetalia is a series that explores the question of what history would be like if the countries we live in were suddenly anthropomorphized and could interact with one another. Starting in World War II and with the Allies, we're taken on an adventure that eventually leads to the introduction of even more countries, each with their own unique personalities and stories to add to the mix. Among the many countries that get introduced in the series, one of them is Canada.
If you're asking yourself "who?" you aren't alone. Often overlooked, quite literally, Canada is the sort of person who's forgotten about half of the time and confused as his brother America for the other half of it. It's not really his fault he happens to be a pretty plain guy with no real quirks; he never gets into any trouble, and always strives to accomplish things he puts his mind to. He's an all around nice guy, easy going and honest, but he does have his moments of frustration, and generally shows it in a rather passive-aggressive manner. Though by no means a pushover, he's apt to go along politely with people when necessary to avoid serious conflict and let things go smoothly. It's tough being outshined, but he's determined to let everyone know just who Canada is... next time.
Sample Post:
Okay, ladies and gentlemen and, well... zombies and gorillas, too... Today we're gathered out here to make Camp Fuck You Die's first official hockey team! And I'm the one who's going to be mentoring you. I'd like to start by saying those sticks you're holding can be used for something more productive than hitting each other. Since you're already on the ice, all we need is something we can use to hit around like a puck. Oh, um, but I wonder if we can't find something more appropriate to use than this head? Normally when you play hockey you use something a little smaller that's easier to maneuver and not so... disturbing. Ah, there's no need to get upset; I had no intention of offending you with my careless choice of words! If it's really what you have your heart set on using, we'll use it. So keep those sticks on the ice before you accidentally do something you might regret like injuring a teammate.
Everyone on the left is Team A, and those on the right are Team B, and if I could get the two zombies near the back to be the goalies, that would be great. The only thing you goalies need to do is keep the, um, puck from getting in your net; everyone else please remember the only time you should be swinging your sticks around is when you're going for the goal-- Hey, wait, why are you all heading off of the ice? It might not seem important to have a hockey team, but regular exercise can lead to stronger, more durable bodies that won't fall apart as much as you all seem to be doing. Not to mention it's certainly a more productive hobby to have rather than going after the brains of those poor campers. Now, back to training! Whenever you're ready, bring the stick back and swing it forward as fast and hard as you can to hit the puck. That's good so far; your hands are nice and steady, good posture, all that's left is to draw back the stick and--
Well, okay. It's hard to say whether that was a fair shot or not seeing as how Team A's goalie is missing the leg that could have easily made the winning save. But that's nothing to get in a fight over! Keeping score isn't all that important when you're getting started; you should walk away from this knowing that each of you gave it your all, and that's what makes a winner! Give yourselves a nice pat on the back-- if you can, that is. Ah, those of you with extra hands might want to give those without any hands some help. How were you playing hockey in the first place? Anyway, the point is you all did a great job today and with even more practice and hard work you'll be ready to represent yourselves as Camp's first hockey team.
Don't worry about thanking me, you would have picked it up by yourselves in no time-- Oh, um, you're talking to that gorilla over there, aren't you? Maybe I'm mistaking why you're thanking him for teaching you the basics of hockey, but it was me who helped you learn the importance of good stick handling back there. We were on the ice having a great time not even a second ago, remember? That's all right if you want to keep thanking him... Try to remember me next time, please...?
Poll Vote!
Character: 00.07/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: The Umbrella Academy
Age: 12
Canon: It began with the atomic flying elbow of "Tusslin' Tom," whose fateful defeat of a space squid from Rigel X-9 spontaneously caused the birth of the seven children of the Umbrella Academy. In a world where space aliens are considered legitimate adoptive fathers, zombie architects attempt to take over the world, and chimps can talk and join punk rock bands, the Umbrella Academy was raised to save the world, although no one ever specified why the world needed saving in the first place. The children, despite having more issues than the comic itself, actually do manage to save the world time and time again and enjoy the spoils of their success - ice cream.
Vanya, originally known as 00.07, is the only member of The Umbrella Academy with no obvious supernatural ability. In a family of misfit children with bizarre powers and rather destructive natures, Vanya is the true outcast, and she knows it. Her family ignores her, her adoptive father, Sir Monocle, provides a constant stream of criticism, and her only true friend is the talking chimp Pogo. She is left behind on missions, and instead spends her time developing her skills on the violin, the one thing she seems to excel at. Vanya is an insecure and lonely little girl, who doubts herself constantly and wishes she was special like the others. She discounts her own skills on the violin, despite Pogo’s encouragement, and despairs over her own uselessness. She is still receptive to affection, though it’s rarely given to her. There’s also anger building inside her due to the continued isolation she is subjected to, and this anger grows as she does. Vanya may one day be transformed into The End of the World, but for now she’s just a sad little girl wishing to be anything but ordinary.
Note: Taking Vanya from around the time period depicted in the first scenes of Volume 4 of Apocalypse Suite.
Sample Post:
I knew it was too good to be true. There was no way Dad - Sir Monocle, I mean - would ever send me to a real summer camp. Even as a way to get me out of their hair, my family would never send me somewhere cool. It’s not like I saved the world last week with the others. I barely cleaned my room! This must be some sort of punishment, but at least I'm away from the mansion and on my own for once. I won't miss them, and anywhere is better than home, no matter what kind of camp this is. I figured it’d be some sort of music camp, since playing the violin is the only thing I’m any good at. I brought my violin just in case, but I don't see any instruments or musicians or a stage, just a swamp and a few old buildings. It actually looks pretty deserted, which is fine with me. People don't like me very much, and I’m not a huge fan of them either.
I did run into a gorilla earlier, but he was nothing like the chimps I know back home. He was purple, and he didn't even talk! I tried to be friendly, but he didn't respond at all. It's too bad, since chimps, and I'm guessing gorillas too, make good friends and even better audiences. Maybe he can talk, but he doesn't think I'm interesting enough to bother with. That’s more likely. Or maybe he's ordinary like me. I bet that's what this camp is for! A place for everyone and everything that isn’t special. No wonder I was sent here.
And no wonder I'm still alone in this dumb swamp! Even at a summer camp for losers there aren't any other kids like me. I guess it makes sense. It’s not like I’ve ever met anyone as useless as me before, why should it be any different here? There's some rustling in the bushes but I bet it's just another stupid gorilla that won't even talk- Was that a voice? That didn't sound like a gorilla to me, and why would it want brains? I guess there are people here. ...Um, actually there's a whole horde of them and they're shuffling this way. Is that boy actually missing an arm? I think they must be zombies, or something equally undead. But, the zombies I’ve heard of wanted to take over the world, not just take my brain. I’m sure my brain wouldn’t be that great anyway. My brain’s certainly not as good as the brains of special people. The one time having my family around would actually come in handy… They would be a much tastier source of brains. Or, you know, they could actually fight them.
Maybe this was the whole idea of sending me here: let the creepy camp zombies eat the useless spare. There’s nothing I can do to defeat them, and all I have is this stupid violin, which is no help whatsoever. This is exactly why I was never allowed to play with the others! Wait-Did that zombie just say “Plaaay?” He definitely did, and now the others are joining him. Do they want me to play my violin? I guess I should, since they seem pretty demanding. I hope they like a nice concerto. Or maybe I could play a funeral dirge, something they might have heard before. Um, wow, they seem to be enjoying it. This is definitely the biggest audience I’ve ever had, and the most enthusiastic. Who knew I would get such a great response? I wonder if this deserves an ice cream reward. But really, zombies with an appreciation for classical music? That seems pretty special to me. Not that I want to stop playing or anything-it might upset them. And the last thing I need right now is an emergency lobotomy.
Poll Vote!