(Untitled)

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[hello. if you happen to be walking through the most happening place in camp, AKA its renowned center, you may note a man standing awkwardly by himself. he's wearing a heavy winter coat and, if you venture close enough, he'll glance your way and say with the tone of the longsuffering:]

... Pack of fags, anyone? Anyone got a... pack of fags?

((

Comments

[istheship]

[... laughing]

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[PULLS A FACE :|]

Now you're a... pretty little thing. You wouldn't happen to have pack on you?

[istheship]

Nah. Bad for your health.

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[thin smiles]

Don't worry about that, love. I'm a doctor.

[canhascow]

What is a fag? Is it like a fig?

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[oh what the fu --

right, and swallowing and inhaling deeply and standing firm]

Not at all -- but I could make myself into a right... figgy pudding just for you.

[canhascow]

Do not be gross; I do not eat humans, and the combination of meat with fig pudding would be disgusting regardless.

[bitnotgoodyeah]

... You can't know unless you've tried it. ... Perhaps a nice mince meat?

[tobethemiracle]

I'm sixteen.

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[SO PAINED]

Oh. ... Nubile and fresh. I... like it.

[tobethemiracle]

Who are you, really?

[bitnotgoodyeah]

John Watson, at your service.

[pause]

Service.

[cheerleading]

Um, wow, that's offensive.

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[for once, his pause seems less out of personal pain and more out of... lack of words to say]

... Terribly sorry, love. I just can't help my nature.

[cheerleading]

Seriously? I'd expect that kind of language from like, meathead footballers, but you're really old, I can't believe you don't know better.

[bitnotgoodyeah]

[oh why are we taunting the American, surely this won't end well]

And aren't good little girls supposed to know better... than to not use condoms?

[wetfortono]

Pack of who now?

[bitnotgoodyeah]

Fags. I said fags.

[wetfortono]

. . . Do you speak English?

[bitnotgoodyeah]

Do you speak... Engrish?