[itp: an unusual offer]

[hesmybeard]

[There's a questionable-looking old man sitting at the edge of a well-traveled path by the corn fields with a small, adorable boy. Next to them is a sign:

SMALL, ABLE-BODIED BOY FOR RENT
(Payment of cash or candy accepted)

...and yeah, the boy's on a child leash.]

((INTRO. Standard warnings apply! ETA WE'RE WINDING DOWN LIKE CHAMPS because our

Comments

[wesssssssssssst]

You really think this'll work, cap'n?

[hesmybeard]

O'course it will! There's tons more people here, and more people means more money.

[wesssssssssssst]

I missed you, my captain. ♥

[hesmybeard]

[pushing you back 8F]

What've I told you before?

[wesssssssssssst]

Nyahahaha. Sorry.

[hesmybeard]

Now go stand over there and ... do that thing you do to get attention.

[dangling the leash, THERE'S TOO MUCH SLACK HERE, BOY]

[wesssssssssssst]

[TIME TO DANCE]

[hesmybeard]

[WAITING FOR THE CROWD TO GATHER AND STARE IN WONDER OVER HERE]

[wesssssssssssst]

I think it's working!

[hesmybeard]

Keep goin', boy! We'll be rich by the end of the night!