(Untitled)

[despratehouscat]

Attention everybody! I am here to announce that I, not you, am the top dog at camp!

In addition, all the women of the camp are off limits and will remain so until they have stated that they will not marry me. Therefore, If I see you with any of them, this constitutes a breech upon my person and I will chastise you harshly

Comments

[whythebirdsings]

What-- What are you?!

[despratehouscat]

Excellent question! I am the creme of the dancing arts, the epitome of masculinity and the best teacher of ballet the world has ever known! People know me far and wide and are awed by me!

But you can call me Mr. Cat.

[whythebirdsings]

. . .

What makes you think anyone will marry you?

[despratehouscat]

Silly girl, am I not enough of a man for five or ten thousand women?

[with_nobbs_on]

Well, if you're that innerested, mister...

...cat. Er.

[despratehouscat]

That's Mr. Cat, sir, and I'd rather you remember it.

[with_nobbs_on]

[here follows several seconds of mental calculation re: How Weird Is This. Final score: if people here can have tails...]

Alright then, Mister Cat it is. Nice an' easy to remember, innit?

[despratehouscat]

Simpler people then you have remembered it, so I would imagine so.

[shes_my_master]

Arara...

Mr. Cat, isn't that going too far?

[despratehouscat]

Certainly not, Miss Kohaku. I am merely speaking true.

[shes_my_master]

There's truth that you can say and truth that shouldn't be said though.

[despratehouscat]

Is it not manly to make your convictions plain?

[foryoursuffrage]

I will not marry you.

[despratehouscat]

But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

[foryoursuffrage]

I see no reason to give you the pleasure of being with myself.

[despratehouscat]

I am the creme of the dancing arts, a gentleman, the epitome of masculinity and a master teacher of ballet. People know me far and wide and are awed by me.

Does that not satisfy you?

[getrhythmic]

Well then. I've absolutely no intention whatsoever of ever, ever marrying you. Does that settle things?

[despratehouscat]

CERTAINLY NOT BEFORE I GET A VALID REASON FOR THIS TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE AND MYSELF!!

[getrhythmic]

You're a cat. And a loud one. And I'm engaged.

[despratehouscat]

I see nothing negative for myself, and an excuse on your part. Surely he cannot compare to my stature and grace. I weep how short you are undercutting yourself.