(Untitled)

[onthenightroad]

...it could be a game, you know? Like arranging a scavenger hunt or oh god why--

OKAY CAMP, I WENT TO BED WITH TWO KIDNEYS AND I WOKE UP WITH ONE.

HELP WANTED. ALSO, LIKE ALWAYS, DON'T EAT THE SOUP TOMORROW. JUST IN CASE.

((TRUE FACTS: Abel Nightroad has sustained no external injuries.

EDIT: HOKAY FOLKS slowing down a little, ping me on IRC or

Comments

[snakesonanin]

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR A NINJA!

[onthenightroad]

ANKO I NEED HELP LOCATING MY KIDNEY

IT LOOKS LIKE A KIDNEY

AND IS PROBABLY STILL WARM

[snakesonanin]

You can count on me, Daddy! BUT FIRST~ why aren't you in the hospital and why don't you have any gaping, oozing holes on your body? More than usual, I mean.

[onthenightroad]

That's the thing!! It'd be a lot easier for me to investigate this type of thing if I had any gaping holes in my body but I AM UNHURT and I. Highly doubt it was removed in some kind of surgery, I never do well in surgery...

[littlestsoldier]

Help wanted with what?

[onthenightroad]

KIDNEY LOCATION. I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S BEEN STOLEN BUT I. WOULD KNOW IF IT GOT EATEN.

[littlestsoldier]

Why would someone want to steal a kidney if they aren't going to eat it?

[onthenightroad]

Some people would do it on a whim, Michael.

[moffit]

DID YOU DREAM OF GOING TO CANDY MOUNTAIN, BY CHANCE?

[veryshocking]

If he didn't, I want my money back.

[onthenightroad]

I DREAM OF IT EVERY NIGHT, WHY SHOULD THIS TIME BE ANY DIFFERENT

[ironic_requiem]

... how can you... tell?

[onthenightroad]

I'M VERY SELF-AWARE.

[ironic_requiem]

But it's not like you feel your kidn-- just. Nevermind.

[onthenightroad]

Kidney theft is a serious offense, young man.

[veryshocking]

I'll give it an 8.5 for creativity.

[onthenightroad]

...WHAT, MY ANNOUNCEMENT OR THE KIDNEY THEFT? MA'AM THIS IS NOT THE OLYMPICS.

[veryshocking]

Sadly, having not witnessed the actual theft, I'll have to go with the announcement. ♥

The French judge gave it a 5. Maybe if you bribed him with the kidney he'd change his score~?

[onthenightroad]

The French are always stingy about that kind of thing, I'd have to give him a gallbladder or something too. FORGET IT, I'M NOT LOSING ANYTHING ELSE TODAY.