(Untitled)

[latrine_orderly]

[And suddenly, should you choose to watch it, your laptop plays a video full of disturbing imagery and symbolism... or it would, if Excel had gotten around to actually making one. Instead you get a random link to the Ringu curse video or maybe an Excel Saga music video that's doing it wrong or maybe an episode of Sexy Commando, just because I like

Comments

[as_apple_pie]

. . .

[latrine_orderly]

Well hi there, Teitou! Whaddaya think of my new job?

[as_apple_pie]

Excel, what?

[latrine_orderly]

Excel got her a job as onna them vengeful spirits! I crawl out of laptops and kill people! *waves cheerfully from her well* I'm on break right now, though!

[as_apple_pie]

...

*YEAH, HE GOT THE MUSIC VIDEO THAT'S DOING IT WRONG*

...

Excel...?

[latrine_orderly]

That's-a me!

[as_apple_pie]

...That seems... a little out of character for you.

I would have expected something a little more... like this.

[as_apple_pie]

...

That wasn't supposed to be a hyperlink, and the sentence should have ended at "More."

[latrine_orderly]

I meant to link to the one with the pop-ups, you know? With all the feelings of my heart and stuff! But Lord Il Palazzo's really handsome in that one, too, don't you think? ...AND WHAT THE FLYING FOOK, DOGS ARE FOR EATING!

[as_apple_pie]

Excel, are you all right?

[latrine_orderly]

Spokey dokey, besides the whole "being dead" thing!

[as_apple_pie]

...Ah.

I have your notebook.

[latrine_orderly]

Oh! You're looking at an Excel-shaped pile of relief right now, mister! That could've been really dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands! Can you hold onto it for me for awhile longer? I can't stay dead forever!

[as_apple_pie]

I don't mind.

What exactly happened to you, Excel?

[latrine_orderly]

The details are kinda gruesome, like the way some things go CRUNCH and others go SNICKETY-SNAP, but sparing the unnecessarily long memoirs, Excel got eated by Hannibal Lecter! It's almost kinda cool, in a way! I mean, of all the people to be fatally vored by, he's one you can certainly brag about! Though it loses a million cool points to admit that it's not the Anthony Hopkins version.

[as_apple_pie]

...Why?