(no subject)
life feels like its back to normal im finaly in the mind set im were i need to be bussiness wise worked 50 hours this week and i feel that the menu im puting out and mangement all fits into place perfect...theres stil a hole much smaller but when dwelled on it hurts more cuase i feel like i should be happier then a tornado ina trailor park...i feel in this year i have lost two of the best friends i have ever managed to make brian just left to AZ and the other i find it hard to see...but i miss her ive felt like a lil kid in a desperate need of a hug...i cant sleep thougth the nigth i dont knwo what i expect to be in the spot next to me but its gone...i found falling on others frineds is not a good idea becuase if its anythign that can be used against me it will...i have been surpressing it but its hurting me so much i wish there was someone i could trust and confide come to and not worried about being judged i need to figure somehting out i find that i hate myself when i dwell on this internal container of pain, hate and anger.well i gotta go throw on the chef coates and do what i do best i have a long nigth ahead of me dont get out until 12:30 if things go smoothly and tommorow finally a day off.