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lately ive been finding myself actually wanting a relationship. but holy hell girls are just so fucking boring. seriously there isnt anybody cool at all. if i had a girlfriend what the fuck would we do? hang out? and do what? go bowling? that would leave me with less free time than i already have. i only get 2 days maximum per week to do something with my real friends. even if there was a cool girl i definitely dont want to see her often. for girls a relationship seems to be all lifes about. when theyre single theyre trying to get a boyfriend and when theyre in a relationship all they want to do is trivial shit. i dont enjoy many things but i think im myself as an exciting person. only to me though as others would look at me and think im boring as hell since all i do is skateboard. thats all ill ever find fun but i hate other skateboarders besides my small group of friends. if it wasnt for them i swear to everything id live in japan right now. but ive looked for friends EXACTLY like the ones i have now and dont want to take them for granted as i see them being around for the rest of my life. i just dont see how it could end unless we died or something. im lately i havnt felt like bullshitting anymore i like to take things in for exactly what they are good or bad. people only notice when i point bad stuff out and think im miserable but im actually really happy besides being out of my funny money and being forced to work another job where everything i do means absolutely nothing and i take no pride in. i was thinking about it and i would be perfectly happy if i was blind. i would still skateboard and honestly think i could do almost everything i could now if i tried hard enough and it sounds weird but i think i could do even more than i could now because id feel cooler since id be blind. if it wernt for not being able to watch movies/play video games/read books....not in braille i would WANT to be blind. because id be the same as i am now but id feel cooler.
another thing is i think im really cool but dont ever say it because thats annoying. i hate religion but even more than that i hate atheists who try to convert people. thats so hypocritical to act like youre smarter than other people because they believe in a god with no proof when you have no proof that there isnt a god. i mean i dont KNOW that there isnt a god. ive looked into most religions and the stories are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally stupid to me and have so much evidence against them but i cant PROVE theyre false so i consider myself agnostic and if i had to guess id say nothing happens and were self righteous so we just make shit up because we cant handle not living forever so were lying to ourselves. but i cant prove that so i dont think about it. besides remember the kid in first grade going around telling everybody santa wasnt real? i dont want to be that jackass so why would anybody else? people will believe what they want no matter what
i also hate that so many girls where i live are christian. thats fine if theyre happy, but i honestly could never date one. after all if they are real christians then they have to believe not only that you are going to hell forever and ever to the end of time but that you absolutely deserve it. in catholic school they told me that hell was worse than anything anybody could ever imagine. they never showed me where it said that in the bible, so i dont even KNOW that its true but if that is true than i could think of some REALLY fucked up shit and multiply that trillions of times and hell would still be worse. i mean im imagining all of that so it has to be even worse right? how could i care about somebody that thinks i deserve that? they cant care about me if they see that as a flaw. then theyd be trying to change me. and if theyre the kind of christians that say "yeahhhh but i dont think thatll happen as long as youre a good person" then thats even worse because i hate when people make rules up with their religions, thats just stupid and i dont want to be with somebody whos stupid. i always have way too much on my mind. i need somebody with a lot on their mind as well...and to think the same as i do which i dont think anybody really does.
i got off topic. this is so poorly written. but i dont care at all since ill never read this again im sure and nobody else will. but girls are really fucking boring. i mean not 100% of them but wow most of them dont have any personality. at least in tennessee. im not sorry at all but most of them are so fucking useless and dependent and dont like doing anything besides partying. what is partying anyway? its so vague. i mean if they partied like in movies i guess thatd be cool. but real life parties are just drinking in dark rooms with creepy people who get into deep conversations about things they know nothing about and present facts that they base off of nothing just saying "look it up on google" then they work a shitload to have money to go to creepy ass parties with college assholes with visors. get a hobby or something. they live for others. thats why they hate themselves, thats why they cant hold a real relationship. thats why theyre going to end up divorced with 3 kids they scream at and put pressure on and a big cycle repeats. i think things are getting better though. it seems like less and less people are getting married because its whats expected of them. i hope there is a person cool enough for me. these are my thoughts i can sounds conceited. i dont care. if theres a girl i share common interests with im the best guy in the entire world. the only thing you could find is somebody as good. i think i have the right balance with being nice and respecting myself. at least now a do. i dont care about people so nobody sees the nice side of me anymore. just the neutral polite/not overly nice side. if i found somebody cool though id be so good to them though. but i dont want my efforts to go to waste ever again. i deserve way better than that. if only i could find a non-depressed girl with similar interests. i know a handful of girls in connecticut with personality, but most of them are depressed which means theyll sabotage a relationship with somebody treating them well sooo theyre off limits too even if i did ever plan on moving back, which i wouldnt now that i have cool friends here. but who fucking cares i have the best friends of all time right now that i dont secretly think of things i dont like about them during times like right now when im not around them. i really like them and want to hang out with them because theyre on the same level and think the same as me. not complicated at all. this is bad if somebody reads this but in car rides we often just talk about how cool we are and make fun of absolutely everybody else. we dont say it like that but everybody in nashville envies us because they know were cooler than them, do more, and have way more fun, and they all know it.
i dont act like i know what im talking about. these are opinions for me to type out because it helps me think. if somebody finds my livejournal then they care what i think and if not then its not for them anyway.
i want to learn how to shoot a gun, i want to get better at speaking japanese, i want to read way more sherlock holmes. i want enough money to live off of without having to work. life is too short to do bullshit. i want to work. but only stuff for me. i want to become smarter. i want to study things myself. i have to pee, i need a q-tip, this girl in my photography class is honestly the prettiest girl ever. i cant think of anybody i thought was prettier. she has a boyfriend though so even if i wasnt awkward i wouldnt try talking to her. and shes probably christian....shes also left handed. im not creepy i just notice when people are. the guy next to me in that class is also left handed. case closed is awesome. so is psych. mysteries in general are. im done typing my thoughts. im going to drink cranberry juice and try to solve a fictional case on my own. good night
another thing is i think im really cool but dont ever say it because thats annoying. i hate religion but even more than that i hate atheists who try to convert people. thats so hypocritical to act like youre smarter than other people because they believe in a god with no proof when you have no proof that there isnt a god. i mean i dont KNOW that there isnt a god. ive looked into most religions and the stories are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally stupid to me and have so much evidence against them but i cant PROVE theyre false so i consider myself agnostic and if i had to guess id say nothing happens and were self righteous so we just make shit up because we cant handle not living forever so were lying to ourselves. but i cant prove that so i dont think about it. besides remember the kid in first grade going around telling everybody santa wasnt real? i dont want to be that jackass so why would anybody else? people will believe what they want no matter what
i also hate that so many girls where i live are christian. thats fine if theyre happy, but i honestly could never date one. after all if they are real christians then they have to believe not only that you are going to hell forever and ever to the end of time but that you absolutely deserve it. in catholic school they told me that hell was worse than anything anybody could ever imagine. they never showed me where it said that in the bible, so i dont even KNOW that its true but if that is true than i could think of some REALLY fucked up shit and multiply that trillions of times and hell would still be worse. i mean im imagining all of that so it has to be even worse right? how could i care about somebody that thinks i deserve that? they cant care about me if they see that as a flaw. then theyd be trying to change me. and if theyre the kind of christians that say "yeahhhh but i dont think thatll happen as long as youre a good person" then thats even worse because i hate when people make rules up with their religions, thats just stupid and i dont want to be with somebody whos stupid. i always have way too much on my mind. i need somebody with a lot on their mind as well...and to think the same as i do which i dont think anybody really does.
i got off topic. this is so poorly written. but i dont care at all since ill never read this again im sure and nobody else will. but girls are really fucking boring. i mean not 100% of them but wow most of them dont have any personality. at least in tennessee. im not sorry at all but most of them are so fucking useless and dependent and dont like doing anything besides partying. what is partying anyway? its so vague. i mean if they partied like in movies i guess thatd be cool. but real life parties are just drinking in dark rooms with creepy people who get into deep conversations about things they know nothing about and present facts that they base off of nothing just saying "look it up on google" then they work a shitload to have money to go to creepy ass parties with college assholes with visors. get a hobby or something. they live for others. thats why they hate themselves, thats why they cant hold a real relationship. thats why theyre going to end up divorced with 3 kids they scream at and put pressure on and a big cycle repeats. i think things are getting better though. it seems like less and less people are getting married because its whats expected of them. i hope there is a person cool enough for me. these are my thoughts i can sounds conceited. i dont care. if theres a girl i share common interests with im the best guy in the entire world. the only thing you could find is somebody as good. i think i have the right balance with being nice and respecting myself. at least now a do. i dont care about people so nobody sees the nice side of me anymore. just the neutral polite/not overly nice side. if i found somebody cool though id be so good to them though. but i dont want my efforts to go to waste ever again. i deserve way better than that. if only i could find a non-depressed girl with similar interests. i know a handful of girls in connecticut with personality, but most of them are depressed which means theyll sabotage a relationship with somebody treating them well sooo theyre off limits too even if i did ever plan on moving back, which i wouldnt now that i have cool friends here. but who fucking cares i have the best friends of all time right now that i dont secretly think of things i dont like about them during times like right now when im not around them. i really like them and want to hang out with them because theyre on the same level and think the same as me. not complicated at all. this is bad if somebody reads this but in car rides we often just talk about how cool we are and make fun of absolutely everybody else. we dont say it like that but everybody in nashville envies us because they know were cooler than them, do more, and have way more fun, and they all know it.
i dont act like i know what im talking about. these are opinions for me to type out because it helps me think. if somebody finds my livejournal then they care what i think and if not then its not for them anyway.
i want to learn how to shoot a gun, i want to get better at speaking japanese, i want to read way more sherlock holmes. i want enough money to live off of without having to work. life is too short to do bullshit. i want to work. but only stuff for me. i want to become smarter. i want to study things myself. i have to pee, i need a q-tip, this girl in my photography class is honestly the prettiest girl ever. i cant think of anybody i thought was prettier. she has a boyfriend though so even if i wasnt awkward i wouldnt try talking to her. and shes probably christian....shes also left handed. im not creepy i just notice when people are. the guy next to me in that class is also left handed. case closed is awesome. so is psych. mysteries in general are. im done typing my thoughts. im going to drink cranberry juice and try to solve a fictional case on my own. good night