THE Talk
Author: Min7girl
Title:THE Talk
Rating:PG-13
Pairing/s:Arthur/Merlin
Character/s:Arthur, Merlin, OC(s)
Summary:Arthur found out about his and Merlin's daughter's first date this coming Friday. Arthur does a quick Facebook for the kid as a background check and sees the prompt for this drabble staring him in the face. This conversation happens the day before the date. Sequel/Prequel/something to Grown Up
Warnings:N/a at the moment
Word Count:I rarely look
Prompt:Superboy Picture prompt
Author's Notes:Hugs to Arthur and Merlin!daddies everywhere.
"My father's method seems to be a viable option." Arthur looked pale and maybe on the verge of losing his breakfast.
"What did your father do?" Merlin wasn't any better, but he had a magical way of masking it at least.
"He had his secretary send me a video and a box of condoms."
"This explains so much" Merlin deadpanned.
"What? It was an educational and instructional video with responsible valuable information.
"Oh god, you still have it some where don't you?" Merlin teased his husband with a finger poke to his side.
Arthur blushed and turned away. "What we need to focus on, is that this talk is something we aren't qualified to have. We know nothing of girl bits. Without books and reasearch we wouldn't have even known it was time to take her to the girl parts doctor."
"It's an OB/GYN, and who is this we? I'm the one who had to look that stuff up." Merlin shuddered thinking about 4 years ago and the nightmares of doctor's visits and bra shopping.
"Yes but I'm the one who took her, since you were about to faint in the waiting room."
"Well who knew they were going to have pictures and models of everything. It was frightening. I kept thinking they were going to put me back into the womb."
"You've been watching too many disturbing adult cartoons."
"I have not! and please focus on the issue at hand. We need to have THE talk with Bethy."
Arthur pouted, "My Bethany Rose does not need to have the talk!"
Merlin rolled his eyes. There really was no reasoning with Arthur when he started using full names. "So what do you suggest? We put a chastity belt on her till she gets married?"
Arthur raised his brow as if he was seriously considering Merlin's words.
"Arthur! I am not putting my baby in a chastity belt!"
"Fine! But you know there really isn't anything wrong with looking back on some classic medieval methods of courtship. And who said anything about her getting married? She's going to rule Pendragon corp. like Oprah. She doesn't need a husband."
"For heavens...Oprah still has a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something. Which means someone gave her THE talk."
"And what kind of talk are we going to give her that the schools already haven't. As I recall we signed a form that let them go into great detail about everything. And our Bethy did outstanding in all of her health and science classes."
"Arthur you know they only cover so much in school. Biologically speaking she knows what will happen, but do you really want our little girl getting all of her additional information from friends with hot links to less that reputable online sources."
"Alright Mer-lin, what do you know about vaginal sex? You seem to be the expert and so blasted ready to have this discussion. Please explain to me what we are going to tell her from our own personal experiences with women in the bedroom." The Ha-Beat-That face really needed to be smacked off of Arthur sometimes.
"Sex isn't what we will be discussing Arthur. It's relationships. And we both know a great deal about that part of it."
"Like respecting her body and waiting till true love and my approval comes rather than cavorting with Super-Pants."
"Super Pan...I mean Patrick is one of the reasons we should talk to her before it gets serious." Merlin paused and bit his lower lip before continuing . "I think we should tell her the truth about how we started dating."
Arthur narrowed his eyes. "The only story we are ever telling anyone is about you and me in a book store."
Merlin sighed. Arthur's past transgressions had to wait for another day, but Merlin and he would have that talk with Bethy. Even if both of them hyperventilated all the way through it.
Title:THE Talk
Rating:PG-13
Pairing/s:Arthur/Merlin
Character/s:Arthur, Merlin, OC(s)
Summary:Arthur found out about his and Merlin's daughter's first date this coming Friday. Arthur does a quick Facebook for the kid as a background check and sees the prompt for this drabble staring him in the face. This conversation happens the day before the date. Sequel/Prequel/something to Grown Up
Warnings:N/a at the moment
Word Count:I rarely look
Prompt:Superboy Picture prompt
Author's Notes:Hugs to Arthur and Merlin!daddies everywhere.
"My father's method seems to be a viable option." Arthur looked pale and maybe on the verge of losing his breakfast.
"What did your father do?" Merlin wasn't any better, but he had a magical way of masking it at least.
"He had his secretary send me a video and a box of condoms."
"This explains so much" Merlin deadpanned.
"What? It was an educational and instructional video with responsible valuable information.
"Oh god, you still have it some where don't you?" Merlin teased his husband with a finger poke to his side.
Arthur blushed and turned away. "What we need to focus on, is that this talk is something we aren't qualified to have. We know nothing of girl bits. Without books and reasearch we wouldn't have even known it was time to take her to the girl parts doctor."
"It's an OB/GYN, and who is this we? I'm the one who had to look that stuff up." Merlin shuddered thinking about 4 years ago and the nightmares of doctor's visits and bra shopping.
"Yes but I'm the one who took her, since you were about to faint in the waiting room."
"Well who knew they were going to have pictures and models of everything. It was frightening. I kept thinking they were going to put me back into the womb."
"You've been watching too many disturbing adult cartoons."
"I have not! and please focus on the issue at hand. We need to have THE talk with Bethy."
Arthur pouted, "My Bethany Rose does not need to have the talk!"
Merlin rolled his eyes. There really was no reasoning with Arthur when he started using full names. "So what do you suggest? We put a chastity belt on her till she gets married?"
Arthur raised his brow as if he was seriously considering Merlin's words.
"Arthur! I am not putting my baby in a chastity belt!"
"Fine! But you know there really isn't anything wrong with looking back on some classic medieval methods of courtship. And who said anything about her getting married? She's going to rule Pendragon corp. like Oprah. She doesn't need a husband."
"For heavens...Oprah still has a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something. Which means someone gave her THE talk."
"And what kind of talk are we going to give her that the schools already haven't. As I recall we signed a form that let them go into great detail about everything. And our Bethy did outstanding in all of her health and science classes."
"Arthur you know they only cover so much in school. Biologically speaking she knows what will happen, but do you really want our little girl getting all of her additional information from friends with hot links to less that reputable online sources."
"Alright Mer-lin, what do you know about vaginal sex? You seem to be the expert and so blasted ready to have this discussion. Please explain to me what we are going to tell her from our own personal experiences with women in the bedroom." The Ha-Beat-That face really needed to be smacked off of Arthur sometimes.
"Sex isn't what we will be discussing Arthur. It's relationships. And we both know a great deal about that part of it."
"Like respecting her body and waiting till true love and my approval comes rather than cavorting with Super-Pants."
"Super Pan...I mean Patrick is one of the reasons we should talk to her before it gets serious." Merlin paused and bit his lower lip before continuing . "I think we should tell her the truth about how we started dating."
Arthur narrowed his eyes. "The only story we are ever telling anyone is about you and me in a book store."
Merlin sighed. Arthur's past transgressions had to wait for another day, but Merlin and he would have that talk with Bethy. Even if both of them hyperventilated all the way through it.