Another long yet calm night to cure the soul =D
So once again I have entered the thinking phase mostly because I'm bored but also because I slept in the day and now I am unable to. So once more she is still in mind, and so many thoughts come to mind as in past times and most of them just wondering what has been of her and such, and I still worry. As I am just here calmly sitting listening to Guns N Roses thinking of her seems also impossible to avoid, and not that I would want to anyway. At times I self debate about whether to just let things go, set their pace and think that if it didn’t happen its for a reason . . . or think that she really was the one and I fucked up and that at this point it might just be a tad to late. I am neither sad nor depressed but just thinking and in doing so may seem to be angry or so but no, I am merely reflecting on those past times. My childhood is also another thing that comes into mind at times, and whether or not being an only child has affected my socially in some way or another. My parents (mostly mom) worry at times and think that it isn’t normal for me to be as she calls it "serious" and that I should try to be more open and social. Coming from a really happy family that often likes to party, celebrate and have gatherings I think of myself as the "black sheep" if you will of the family. In Tepic Nayarit Mexico is the house of the family, where my grandparents raised their children and ultimately me as well and is the establishment that my grandfather Baltazar built with his own hands that proudly carries the name Oregel. Needless to say, this is the center of all the family celebrations, gatherings and such. In such celebrations while everyone was downstairs talking, celebrating and such I would always find myself on the roof just looking out at the city and traffic as the day would slowly but surely end. It has been a habit of mine since I was small, and something that overtime didn’t wear out or forget and to date since my last visit to Mexico was something I did. It’s been probably a bit over 2 years or maybe 3 since I last was in Mexico and I miss it so much, my family, the neighborhood, the city and just overall my neighborhood. Being an only child one thing I wish I could have though impossible is an older sister or brother that I would get along with and rely on when I have no one else that has my back. . . well it seems that I have run out of things to ramble about so I will leave with this note . . . "My nuts itch . . . =-/ . . . "
Camajew
Camajew