Its been a while . . . too long =-/
Ok so I'm still awake mostly because I slept all day yesterday but also because I’m in one of those "thinking" phases of mine. These are times when I am either not doing anything or cannot sleep and just randomly start thinking of whatever comes up, and this time guess who came up . . . yup. Ok so today I will say a few things that I at times cannot believe I did and did not do. But first I’m just going to ramble on and on about whatever else comes up, and one thing is that I was horribly close to deleting my LJ account but then I realized that this is like the only place where I can honestly open my mind and say what I feel, well for the most part. Its 3:18 am Tuesday Sep 5, 2006 and I’m feeling pretty relaxed listening to rock music that plays randomly. It’s been a while since I felt so relaxed and that got in the actual mood to write some stuff, mostly about you know who. So about this certain person of mine . . . yea . . . I am honestly almost 100% convinced that she is the one that I am meant to be with, the one I would be happiest with, and yet . . . nothing. Being the time that is it, as late in time that is it and still in she is my mind. I still look for her on MS hoping she has an account, on Google I look her name up hoping I can find something of hers, but nothing. Not that long ago I stumbled upon her waiting in those typical “S” lines at LAVC and I was rather surprised, got nervous and my stomach got tied up. Once she saw me she smiled, waved and just then I was almost sure I was about to puke on the person in front of me. My palms got sweaty, my legs started shaking and stomach hurting even more, and at last we got close and nervous as hell I decided to take the initiative and extended my arms for a hug. We talked for a little bit and she had to go, and once again I thought to myself like before that would probably be the last time I would see her and yet . . . I did nothing. To this day I still cannot believe I did nothing more than just watch her walk away as I just stood there. As I go about my days I frequently think of her and what could have been. As always girls come and go, cute ones interesting one etc etc but yet none have managed to stay in mind as long as her. Things I also constantly think about is what has been of her, what has she been doing, where has she been, and I do worry as if she was mine and I was to care for her and its what keeps me thinking, worrying and ultimately from sleeping at times. So at this point in time I can say with all honesty, I am confused. So I leave you now with that note, though I may not have finished everything I wanted to say I leave you because I have about an hour until my day begins so I bid you readers farewell and thank you for taking the time to read this load of bull =D have a good one . . .
Camajew
Camajew