ffxishit
Yeah, i haven't posted in a while, and i really have lost my touch with the community on livejournal. Life has been really difficult, and to easy my pains, i have been playing FFXI. God its addictive but USUALLY, it leaves me feeling like i enjoyed some part of my day. Until now.
You know how i'm outspoken, abnoxiously truthful, and overly zealous to help when its warranted? Yeah, well, that wasn't me for 6 weeks in game while i shut up, never offered my opinion, was informed that i could never complain to those who hurt me but only to my best friend (who now is leaving the game cause i hurt him) and pretty much not be myself. YEah, so i didn't get let into the little circle. That really hurt because i was going to take my sweet ass time with this game and enjoy it. But when it came down to it, i was striving to make my friend and these idiots happy when i should of just been happy to be able to forget real life. But now, that drama is ontop of my life drama and i don't know how much longer i can hold onto the game. Probably has spies watching my bloody livejournal too... I don't care.. I was hurt, they really hurt me and all they can do when I finally show my anger is say "You lashed out before!" blah blah blah blah blah... I'm not really hearing it because who they are describing that I am is nothing what my friends see... I don't belong there, I belong with a group that admires you for who you are and not what your shit is. F* them. Sorry Vincent, if you leave the game, its both our losses, but maybe that way you can enjoy more time doing other things instead of being their servant. They don't realize that when i found out i was let go, I cried... I literally had to walk away from teh computer and cry because it was like i wasted 6 weeks of life on these people and even more so on the emotions that were true to me. I could of been myself. I could of been READING. I get to read more now, i like reading more than the game, but i did it for you Vincent.
Well, besides that, I'm happy my sis got on the game and i can tote her and M around and help them out because helping people makes me feel really wonderful. Its why i wanted to go so far in the game, so i could help others. Now i can, and maybe, that alone will save me. Anyway, i'm done.
You know how i'm outspoken, abnoxiously truthful, and overly zealous to help when its warranted? Yeah, well, that wasn't me for 6 weeks in game while i shut up, never offered my opinion, was informed that i could never complain to those who hurt me but only to my best friend (who now is leaving the game cause i hurt him) and pretty much not be myself. YEah, so i didn't get let into the little circle. That really hurt because i was going to take my sweet ass time with this game and enjoy it. But when it came down to it, i was striving to make my friend and these idiots happy when i should of just been happy to be able to forget real life. But now, that drama is ontop of my life drama and i don't know how much longer i can hold onto the game. Probably has spies watching my bloody livejournal too... I don't care.. I was hurt, they really hurt me and all they can do when I finally show my anger is say "You lashed out before!" blah blah blah blah blah... I'm not really hearing it because who they are describing that I am is nothing what my friends see... I don't belong there, I belong with a group that admires you for who you are and not what your shit is. F* them. Sorry Vincent, if you leave the game, its both our losses, but maybe that way you can enjoy more time doing other things instead of being their servant. They don't realize that when i found out i was let go, I cried... I literally had to walk away from teh computer and cry because it was like i wasted 6 weeks of life on these people and even more so on the emotions that were true to me. I could of been myself. I could of been READING. I get to read more now, i like reading more than the game, but i did it for you Vincent.
Well, besides that, I'm happy my sis got on the game and i can tote her and M around and help them out because helping people makes me feel really wonderful. Its why i wanted to go so far in the game, so i could help others. Now i can, and maybe, that alone will save me. Anyway, i'm done.