Out Of The Closet Part 1
Title: Out Of The Closet
Author: calvi_sama
Summary: The guys are persuaded to go to a FFVII convention, in costume…I think you can figure out from here (without any further elaboration from me) why they’re hiding…now they have to find each other and get out, without killing each other (or anything else *winks*) !
Rating: In this one? NC-17 for some language and *ahem* a…situation.
Pairing: Cloud x ? x ?…he couldn’t see okay!?
Characters: Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack, Cloud, Vincent; Angeal, Tseng, Rufus, Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz, Cid, Rude and Reno (appear later)
Disclaimer: I do not in any way own, or profit from, the characters - I’m just borrowing them, and forlornly wishing that I did *sigh*
Warnings: shameless bathroom humor *sheepish*, oral, anal, implied masturbation (we can’t see it, but we can hear it! *mwahahaha*), and general naughtiness (it's a trainwreck folks)
Once again a big thanks to chephren, for proofing this monstrosity. I’m sorry I put you through that; you’re too good to me.
A/N: I put absolutely no thought into worlds, timelines, etc beyond “why are they in the closet and how the hell do I get ‘em out.” Is it AU? Eh, sure…kinda. So don’t read this for timeline, read it for entertainment and character interaction, k? This idea walked through the revolving doors of my mind to join the cue for the coffee machine soooooo, my choices were to either write this or use the giant hamster ball, and quite frankly that damn thing is starting to freak me out a little bit and make me claustrophobic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was dark. It was musty. It was stuffy and hot. It was a closet. And he wasn’t alone. Sephiroth fought back a growl. Placing both hands to either side of the door that separated him from a fate worse than hell, he rested his forehead against the cool wood. He was beginning to seriously re-evaluate the ‘fate worse than hell’ assessment. He softly banged his forehead against the door - having first made sure it was safe to do so - as his breaths came in short, shallow pants. Right now he would be willing to trade his beloved Masamune for a deep breath of fresh air. Sure, he’d been in close quarters before, he’d been hot before and he’d been sardined before. None of that really bothered him; he wasn’t claustrophobic. No, what put his panties in a twist was that someone - Zack - had thought it would be cute to fart in the small closed-in space where no one could get away from it. And it jerked those panties up his ass that the exuberant First was completely unrepentant about it.
Unmindful of the potential dangers it generated, Sephiroth slammed his fist into the door with a hollow ‘bang’, causing everyone to jump, “that’s it. I’m gonna kill him.” He moved away from the door and started toward Zack who backed away nervously.
Genesis stepped in front of Sephiroth, his hands on his friend’s shoulders, “easy Seph, easy. It’ll dissipate, just calm down and take deep breaths…er…count to ten.”
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Genesis, but what he said next was directed at Zack, “I believe you owe Genesis here your life Lieutenant, but I will leave you with this warning.” Silence. Zack looked doubtful and when he opened his mouth to ask what this ominous ‘warning’ might be, Sephiroth answered, “Payback is a bitch.”
Suddenly there was a noise on the other side of the door that left everyone frozen where they stood. Instantly serious, Sephiroth held his finger up to his lips to indicate that they should all be quiet, which they really didn’t need, and moved to the door. Very carefully he turned the knob and eased the door open. He almost died of ecstasy when a cool whisper of fresh air drifted past his nose, but that distraction was squashed when he saw the back of a black-haired head directly in front of him. With impressive reflexes, his arm shot out and wrapped around the man’s neck and he dragged the other into the closet, slamming the door just in time. Sephiroth kept a hand over the surprised man’s mouth as he kept his ear to the door and they all held their breath as a small crowd of feet came thundering by the door.
“I saw him come this way, where did he go?” A young female voice asked.
“He couldn’t have gone far, maybe he’s in one of these rooms?” Another answered.
Sephiroth winced and he felt the tension in the room shoot up a notch. There was a tapping on his arm and the man pulled on his hand. When he removed his hand, the man whispered in his ear, “the lock. Turn the lock.”
Nodding, Sephiroth did as the man suggested, as quietly as he could, a split second before he felt the doorknob rattle. Everyone else moved away from the door and stared at the knob collectively, praying it would hold and the terror would go away.
“Well he’s not in here, this one’s locked and I don’t see any other rooms…oh wait, what was that?” There was the sound of feet moving away.
They remained still for another several minutes before Sephiroth deemed it safe to move or speak. Releasing the pinned man, he came face to face with a set of tired-looking red eyes, “thanks.”
Sephiroth nodded in reply, “Vincent. What’s going on?”
Vincent sighed and rubbed his eyes with his right hand, leaning back against the door, “everyone has disappeared. I can only assume, having inadvertently found you four hiding in here, that they have taken to hiding as well…and what is that smell?” He looked around for his answer.
Genesis was looking decidedly sick; Cloud was squatting in a corner, the long sleeve of his costume wadded up over his nose, Zack was smirking, and Sephiroth looked…well, Sephiroth looked pissed to put it gently, but to his credit, answered Vincent’s question calmly, “Yes, that would be the evidence of Zack, here, having a rather large lunch and feeling the need to share it with the rest of us.”
Vincent scowled and glared at Zack who only winked and blew him a kiss, “nice.” He turned back to Sephiroth, “have you attempted to contact the others or thought about what you could do to get out?”
Zack piped up, “Yeah, I thought about gettin' out of here.” The others looked at him with different reactions, from uncertainty to skepticism to outright disbelief, but Zack was undeterred, “We could use disguises.” He offered unhelpfully.
Genesis rolled his eyes, Sephiroth arched an elegant brow and Cloud shook his head saying, “You took your stupid pill today didn’t you, Zack. The one day we needed you to forget..."
Vincent’s expression didn’t change, but his voice held strained patience and shook with repressed laughter, “Good idea,” the gunman said, “Sephiroth can be a mop, Cloud a feather duster, you a broom and we’ll put Genesis in the French maid’s outfit.”
That prompted a variety of responses.
“A mop?” Sephiroth asked in a most un-amused way, crossing his arms over his broad chest, eyebrow still arched.
“Feather duster?” Cloud looked both insulted and confused, not getting the ‘chocobo hair’ reference. Vincent gave him time; Cloud never got jokes right away. His confusion was part of his charm.
Genesis didn’t say anything, but his eyes glittered in excitement at the mention of playing dress-up.
“And where will you be?” Zack asked imperiously, as though he was seriously considering the designations.
Vincent was stunned to silence, his face blank with shock, he only blinked a few times. “I will be moving quickly in the opposite direction from such supreme idiocy, you cannot be seriously considering this!”
Sephiroth sighed tiredly, “Yes…he can…and he is.” He began to rub his temples.
“Hey!” Cloud said loudly, standing up and putting his hands on his hips angrily. Everyone else flinched and held up their hands.
“Shhhhhh! Cloud - quiet!” Genesis hissed, “Do you want them to find us?”
But Cloud was unfazed, “My hair does not look like a chocobo!”
Genesis snorted quietly and Sephiroth fought a slowly losing battle with a smile while Zack clapped Cloud on the back, “sorry little buddy, but it kinda does. But don’t worry…” He laughed when Cloud made to punch him, “…the girls love it!”
Cloud continued to glare. “Anyway,” Vincent interrupted before violence could ensue, “that answers the ‘getting out’ question, now, have you attempted to contact the others?”
Genesis looked at him blankly, “and how would we accomplish this feat?” He held out his arms and turned around, “what part of this costume says ‘pocket’ to you?”
Sephiroth reluctantly nodded his agreement, “Genesis is right, we do not exactly have phones.”
“Um,” Cloud said hesitantly, “I, uh, have a phone.” He held up his flip-phone with a sheepish grin.
All heads turned to face him, “when, uh, were you going share that little bit of vital intelligence with us, Cloud?” Sephiroth’s voice held irritability quite intimately with a dash of I-could-kill-you-right-now.
Cloud swallowed, “It, didn’t occur to me, actually, um…” He stammered.
“Didn’t occur to you?” Genesis asked in disbelief. He looked as if he was considering putting his head through the wall…or Cloud’s for that matter.
That got Cloud a little defensive, “Well it didn’t!” He glared at Genesis and then pointed to Zack, “we could always have Zack flake us out of here.”
Zack scowled, “Or we could have you angst us out of here!” He shot back, blue eyes narrowing, “you’ve been so emotionally constipated lately that we’d all disappear in the black cloud you got looming around you. Hell, I’m surprised you can still take a shit!”
“Children, children,” Sephiroth said mildly, stepping in between the two younger men, a hand on each of their chests and pushing them apart gently, a little concerned by Cloud’s hurt expression, “that’s quite enough. I think that we are beyond ‘time-outs’, I hope.”
They didn’t respond, but the tension slowly bled out of them. Sephiroth relaxed and turned to Cloud, “I’m sorry, Cloud, but it has been stressful, to which you are well aware. Why don’t you try the phone?”
Sticking his tongue out at Zack, Cloud flipped his phone open, “oh damn, no bars.”
“We’re gonna die.” Genesis groaned and Vincent blinked at him.
“Try somewhere else,” Sephiroth said calmly, his heart sinking.
Cloud nodded and did a slow circuit of the small closet, holding his phone up. They all watched him expectantly, perking up when he hesitated by the tall shelving unit in the back left corner of the closet. “Wait…” He mumbled and held up the phone, “…I’ve got one bar, but it’s faint. Keeps coming and going.”
“Climb up on top of the shelving, Spike.” Zack said, insults forgotten in favor for escape.
Cloud looked ‘icked-out’, “are you serious? There’s like, barely two feet between the top of the shelving and the ceiling, not to mention what might be living up there.”
“Afraid of bugs, Spike?” Zack teased and Cloud sighed, finished with flinging insults, he was getting tired.
Aside from not getting much sleep the night before, from nerves and too much alcohol, the day had been stressful and he really just wanted a nap. Sleeping for about twelve hours sounded like such bliss. So he heaved a sigh, “Not really,” and proceeded to scale the shelving unit.
“That’s my little trooper!” Zack said.
“But if you do not shut the hell up, I will come back down and break my phone, Zack.” Cloud said, realizing his leverage and using it to get some relief from the unwanted attention, “would you guys please keep him quiet?”
Genesis slapped a hand over Zack’s mouth, “consider it done, Cloud.” He said, but pulled it back and shook it when Zack started licking his hand, “ew.”
Sephiroth chuckled, “put your gloves back on, Gen, I don’t think he’s had his shots.” He pointed at Zack, “you. Shut up.”
Zack held up his hands, “all right, all right, Sir.” He ducked with a laugh when Sephiroth threatened to backhand him.
“Hey guys, I’ve got a steady bar!” Cloud announced.
“Call Barret, Cloud,” Vincent said, “He alone got out. Have him ‘borrow’ a car and tell him you will meet him in the parking garage, maintenance level.”
“Should I try and call the others?” Cloud called down, his voice muffled, as though he were laying his head on his arm.
“Just call Barret for starters.” Sephiroth said and looked at Vincent, “how do you know where the maintenance level is?”
Vincent grinned, “I’ve been running all over the damned building, this floor several times in the last hour, actually. It just so happens that this closet is not too far from the maintenance stairs that leads to the parking garage.”
Sephiroth raised a silver brow, “impressive.”
“Done!” Cloud called down, his voice a little slurred, “He’ll meet us in thirty minutes.”
”Thank the Goddess!” Genesis sighed, pulling Zack into a hug.
“Hey-hey-hey!” Zack said squirming, “gerrof Gen!”
Out of sight, out of mind, Cloud went unnoticed. “Have you managed to find any of the others?” Sephiroth asked Vincent, making a point to ignore Genesis giving Zack a noogie and the other squealing in protest, they’d baby-sit themselves.
“I’ve managed to locate them, yes.” Vincent said stretching and tugging at the high collar of his mantle, “gods I hate this damned thing, I can’t friggin’ breathe!” He growled.
“Could you get back to them?” Sephiroth asked.
“Yes,” Vincent replied, unbuckling the top buckles and opening the neck with a sigh.
“That may be a better way of coordinating an extraction. If you know the building as well as I suspect you do, then you would be able to point them in the right direction, and then just join the last group yourself.” Sephiroth said, “Who is with whom, do you know?”
“Yes,” Vincent affirmed again, crossing his arms over his chest and squinting as he thought a moment, “Angeal, Tseng, Reno and Kadaj are in a janitor’s closet one floor down and Rufus, Rude, Yazoo, Loz and Cid are in some sort of maintenance lounge two floors up.”
Sephiroth nodded, “Good, they’re all together. That works in our favor, but we’ll have to keep them together. Go then, contact Angeal and inform him of Barret’s access to a vehicle and our extrication from this most unsatisfactory situation. We’ll have Barret await further contact from each of the groups. Do you think they have phones?”
Vincent peered at Sephiroth peculiarly for a moment, then just shook his head in acceptance, “knowing Rufus he would have a phone, and if not him, then Rude will have one and I know Reno is never without one. The idiot has an entire phone book in his favorites, he’s always on it.” Vincent was scowling.
Sephiroth smirked, “One would think that would be Tseng. He tends to be overly professional.”
Vincent shook his head, “You would think, but he tends to forget it. He’ll put it down and walk off without it. The man has quite a vocabulary in regards to cell phones.”
Sephiroth “hmmm’d” in response, “thanks for the warning.”
Their conversation apparently concluded, Vincent cracked the door and cautiously stuck his head out. Finding everything to his satisfaction, he looked over his shoulder at Sephiroth, Zack and Genesis, “I’ll find the others and let them know what you have planned. We’ll give you time to get out and then attempt to contact Barret. If you do not hear from us in an hour…”
“We’ll call you.” Sephiroth finished. “Good luck, Vincent.”
“And to you.” Vincent grinned, “remember to hit the maintenance stairs: take a left once you leave here and at the end of the hallway, turn right and you’ll see the door marked “Staff Only” at the end. Those are the stairs.”
“Thank you.”
“Good luck Vince!” Zack squeaked from his headlock and Genesis nodded.
Vincent just snorted and shut the door behind him with a soft ‘click’.
Oh, it gets better...this misadventure concludes in Part 2 (you're still watching aren't ya, even though you know you shouldn't...)
Author: calvi_sama
Summary: The guys are persuaded to go to a FFVII convention, in costume…I think you can figure out from here (without any further elaboration from me) why they’re hiding…now they have to find each other and get out, without killing each other (or anything else *winks*) !
Rating: In this one? NC-17 for some language and *ahem* a…situation.
Pairing: Cloud x ? x ?…he couldn’t see okay!?
Characters: Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack, Cloud, Vincent; Angeal, Tseng, Rufus, Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz, Cid, Rude and Reno (appear later)
Disclaimer: I do not in any way own, or profit from, the characters - I’m just borrowing them, and forlornly wishing that I did *sigh*
Warnings: shameless bathroom humor *sheepish*, oral, anal, implied masturbation (we can’t see it, but we can hear it! *mwahahaha*), and general naughtiness (it's a trainwreck folks)
Once again a big thanks to chephren, for proofing this monstrosity. I’m sorry I put you through that; you’re too good to me.
A/N: I put absolutely no thought into worlds, timelines, etc beyond “why are they in the closet and how the hell do I get ‘em out.” Is it AU? Eh, sure…kinda. So don’t read this for timeline, read it for entertainment and character interaction, k? This idea walked through the revolving doors of my mind to join the cue for the coffee machine soooooo, my choices were to either write this or use the giant hamster ball, and quite frankly that damn thing is starting to freak me out a little bit and make me claustrophobic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was dark. It was musty. It was stuffy and hot. It was a closet. And he wasn’t alone. Sephiroth fought back a growl. Placing both hands to either side of the door that separated him from a fate worse than hell, he rested his forehead against the cool wood. He was beginning to seriously re-evaluate the ‘fate worse than hell’ assessment. He softly banged his forehead against the door - having first made sure it was safe to do so - as his breaths came in short, shallow pants. Right now he would be willing to trade his beloved Masamune for a deep breath of fresh air. Sure, he’d been in close quarters before, he’d been hot before and he’d been sardined before. None of that really bothered him; he wasn’t claustrophobic. No, what put his panties in a twist was that someone - Zack - had thought it would be cute to fart in the small closed-in space where no one could get away from it. And it jerked those panties up his ass that the exuberant First was completely unrepentant about it.
Unmindful of the potential dangers it generated, Sephiroth slammed his fist into the door with a hollow ‘bang’, causing everyone to jump, “that’s it. I’m gonna kill him.” He moved away from the door and started toward Zack who backed away nervously.
Genesis stepped in front of Sephiroth, his hands on his friend’s shoulders, “easy Seph, easy. It’ll dissipate, just calm down and take deep breaths…er…count to ten.”
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Genesis, but what he said next was directed at Zack, “I believe you owe Genesis here your life Lieutenant, but I will leave you with this warning.” Silence. Zack looked doubtful and when he opened his mouth to ask what this ominous ‘warning’ might be, Sephiroth answered, “Payback is a bitch.”
Suddenly there was a noise on the other side of the door that left everyone frozen where they stood. Instantly serious, Sephiroth held his finger up to his lips to indicate that they should all be quiet, which they really didn’t need, and moved to the door. Very carefully he turned the knob and eased the door open. He almost died of ecstasy when a cool whisper of fresh air drifted past his nose, but that distraction was squashed when he saw the back of a black-haired head directly in front of him. With impressive reflexes, his arm shot out and wrapped around the man’s neck and he dragged the other into the closet, slamming the door just in time. Sephiroth kept a hand over the surprised man’s mouth as he kept his ear to the door and they all held their breath as a small crowd of feet came thundering by the door.
“I saw him come this way, where did he go?” A young female voice asked.
“He couldn’t have gone far, maybe he’s in one of these rooms?” Another answered.
Sephiroth winced and he felt the tension in the room shoot up a notch. There was a tapping on his arm and the man pulled on his hand. When he removed his hand, the man whispered in his ear, “the lock. Turn the lock.”
Nodding, Sephiroth did as the man suggested, as quietly as he could, a split second before he felt the doorknob rattle. Everyone else moved away from the door and stared at the knob collectively, praying it would hold and the terror would go away.
“Well he’s not in here, this one’s locked and I don’t see any other rooms…oh wait, what was that?” There was the sound of feet moving away.
They remained still for another several minutes before Sephiroth deemed it safe to move or speak. Releasing the pinned man, he came face to face with a set of tired-looking red eyes, “thanks.”
Sephiroth nodded in reply, “Vincent. What’s going on?”
Vincent sighed and rubbed his eyes with his right hand, leaning back against the door, “everyone has disappeared. I can only assume, having inadvertently found you four hiding in here, that they have taken to hiding as well…and what is that smell?” He looked around for his answer.
Genesis was looking decidedly sick; Cloud was squatting in a corner, the long sleeve of his costume wadded up over his nose, Zack was smirking, and Sephiroth looked…well, Sephiroth looked pissed to put it gently, but to his credit, answered Vincent’s question calmly, “Yes, that would be the evidence of Zack, here, having a rather large lunch and feeling the need to share it with the rest of us.”
Vincent scowled and glared at Zack who only winked and blew him a kiss, “nice.” He turned back to Sephiroth, “have you attempted to contact the others or thought about what you could do to get out?”
Zack piped up, “Yeah, I thought about gettin' out of here.” The others looked at him with different reactions, from uncertainty to skepticism to outright disbelief, but Zack was undeterred, “We could use disguises.” He offered unhelpfully.
Genesis rolled his eyes, Sephiroth arched an elegant brow and Cloud shook his head saying, “You took your stupid pill today didn’t you, Zack. The one day we needed you to forget..."
Vincent’s expression didn’t change, but his voice held strained patience and shook with repressed laughter, “Good idea,” the gunman said, “Sephiroth can be a mop, Cloud a feather duster, you a broom and we’ll put Genesis in the French maid’s outfit.”
That prompted a variety of responses.
“A mop?” Sephiroth asked in a most un-amused way, crossing his arms over his broad chest, eyebrow still arched.
“Feather duster?” Cloud looked both insulted and confused, not getting the ‘chocobo hair’ reference. Vincent gave him time; Cloud never got jokes right away. His confusion was part of his charm.
Genesis didn’t say anything, but his eyes glittered in excitement at the mention of playing dress-up.
“And where will you be?” Zack asked imperiously, as though he was seriously considering the designations.
Vincent was stunned to silence, his face blank with shock, he only blinked a few times. “I will be moving quickly in the opposite direction from such supreme idiocy, you cannot be seriously considering this!”
Sephiroth sighed tiredly, “Yes…he can…and he is.” He began to rub his temples.
“Hey!” Cloud said loudly, standing up and putting his hands on his hips angrily. Everyone else flinched and held up their hands.
“Shhhhhh! Cloud - quiet!” Genesis hissed, “Do you want them to find us?”
But Cloud was unfazed, “My hair does not look like a chocobo!”
Genesis snorted quietly and Sephiroth fought a slowly losing battle with a smile while Zack clapped Cloud on the back, “sorry little buddy, but it kinda does. But don’t worry…” He laughed when Cloud made to punch him, “…the girls love it!”
Cloud continued to glare. “Anyway,” Vincent interrupted before violence could ensue, “that answers the ‘getting out’ question, now, have you attempted to contact the others?”
Genesis looked at him blankly, “and how would we accomplish this feat?” He held out his arms and turned around, “what part of this costume says ‘pocket’ to you?”
Sephiroth reluctantly nodded his agreement, “Genesis is right, we do not exactly have phones.”
“Um,” Cloud said hesitantly, “I, uh, have a phone.” He held up his flip-phone with a sheepish grin.
All heads turned to face him, “when, uh, were you going share that little bit of vital intelligence with us, Cloud?” Sephiroth’s voice held irritability quite intimately with a dash of I-could-kill-you-right-now.
Cloud swallowed, “It, didn’t occur to me, actually, um…” He stammered.
“Didn’t occur to you?” Genesis asked in disbelief. He looked as if he was considering putting his head through the wall…or Cloud’s for that matter.
That got Cloud a little defensive, “Well it didn’t!” He glared at Genesis and then pointed to Zack, “we could always have Zack flake us out of here.”
Zack scowled, “Or we could have you angst us out of here!” He shot back, blue eyes narrowing, “you’ve been so emotionally constipated lately that we’d all disappear in the black cloud you got looming around you. Hell, I’m surprised you can still take a shit!”
“Children, children,” Sephiroth said mildly, stepping in between the two younger men, a hand on each of their chests and pushing them apart gently, a little concerned by Cloud’s hurt expression, “that’s quite enough. I think that we are beyond ‘time-outs’, I hope.”
They didn’t respond, but the tension slowly bled out of them. Sephiroth relaxed and turned to Cloud, “I’m sorry, Cloud, but it has been stressful, to which you are well aware. Why don’t you try the phone?”
Sticking his tongue out at Zack, Cloud flipped his phone open, “oh damn, no bars.”
“We’re gonna die.” Genesis groaned and Vincent blinked at him.
“Try somewhere else,” Sephiroth said calmly, his heart sinking.
Cloud nodded and did a slow circuit of the small closet, holding his phone up. They all watched him expectantly, perking up when he hesitated by the tall shelving unit in the back left corner of the closet. “Wait…” He mumbled and held up the phone, “…I’ve got one bar, but it’s faint. Keeps coming and going.”
“Climb up on top of the shelving, Spike.” Zack said, insults forgotten in favor for escape.
Cloud looked ‘icked-out’, “are you serious? There’s like, barely two feet between the top of the shelving and the ceiling, not to mention what might be living up there.”
“Afraid of bugs, Spike?” Zack teased and Cloud sighed, finished with flinging insults, he was getting tired.
Aside from not getting much sleep the night before, from nerves and too much alcohol, the day had been stressful and he really just wanted a nap. Sleeping for about twelve hours sounded like such bliss. So he heaved a sigh, “Not really,” and proceeded to scale the shelving unit.
“That’s my little trooper!” Zack said.
“But if you do not shut the hell up, I will come back down and break my phone, Zack.” Cloud said, realizing his leverage and using it to get some relief from the unwanted attention, “would you guys please keep him quiet?”
Genesis slapped a hand over Zack’s mouth, “consider it done, Cloud.” He said, but pulled it back and shook it when Zack started licking his hand, “ew.”
Sephiroth chuckled, “put your gloves back on, Gen, I don’t think he’s had his shots.” He pointed at Zack, “you. Shut up.”
Zack held up his hands, “all right, all right, Sir.” He ducked with a laugh when Sephiroth threatened to backhand him.
“Hey guys, I’ve got a steady bar!” Cloud announced.
“Call Barret, Cloud,” Vincent said, “He alone got out. Have him ‘borrow’ a car and tell him you will meet him in the parking garage, maintenance level.”
“Should I try and call the others?” Cloud called down, his voice muffled, as though he were laying his head on his arm.
“Just call Barret for starters.” Sephiroth said and looked at Vincent, “how do you know where the maintenance level is?”
Vincent grinned, “I’ve been running all over the damned building, this floor several times in the last hour, actually. It just so happens that this closet is not too far from the maintenance stairs that leads to the parking garage.”
Sephiroth raised a silver brow, “impressive.”
“Done!” Cloud called down, his voice a little slurred, “He’ll meet us in thirty minutes.”
”Thank the Goddess!” Genesis sighed, pulling Zack into a hug.
“Hey-hey-hey!” Zack said squirming, “gerrof Gen!”
Out of sight, out of mind, Cloud went unnoticed. “Have you managed to find any of the others?” Sephiroth asked Vincent, making a point to ignore Genesis giving Zack a noogie and the other squealing in protest, they’d baby-sit themselves.
“I’ve managed to locate them, yes.” Vincent said stretching and tugging at the high collar of his mantle, “gods I hate this damned thing, I can’t friggin’ breathe!” He growled.
“Could you get back to them?” Sephiroth asked.
“Yes,” Vincent replied, unbuckling the top buckles and opening the neck with a sigh.
“That may be a better way of coordinating an extraction. If you know the building as well as I suspect you do, then you would be able to point them in the right direction, and then just join the last group yourself.” Sephiroth said, “Who is with whom, do you know?”
“Yes,” Vincent affirmed again, crossing his arms over his chest and squinting as he thought a moment, “Angeal, Tseng, Reno and Kadaj are in a janitor’s closet one floor down and Rufus, Rude, Yazoo, Loz and Cid are in some sort of maintenance lounge two floors up.”
Sephiroth nodded, “Good, they’re all together. That works in our favor, but we’ll have to keep them together. Go then, contact Angeal and inform him of Barret’s access to a vehicle and our extrication from this most unsatisfactory situation. We’ll have Barret await further contact from each of the groups. Do you think they have phones?”
Vincent peered at Sephiroth peculiarly for a moment, then just shook his head in acceptance, “knowing Rufus he would have a phone, and if not him, then Rude will have one and I know Reno is never without one. The idiot has an entire phone book in his favorites, he’s always on it.” Vincent was scowling.
Sephiroth smirked, “One would think that would be Tseng. He tends to be overly professional.”
Vincent shook his head, “You would think, but he tends to forget it. He’ll put it down and walk off without it. The man has quite a vocabulary in regards to cell phones.”
Sephiroth “hmmm’d” in response, “thanks for the warning.”
Their conversation apparently concluded, Vincent cracked the door and cautiously stuck his head out. Finding everything to his satisfaction, he looked over his shoulder at Sephiroth, Zack and Genesis, “I’ll find the others and let them know what you have planned. We’ll give you time to get out and then attempt to contact Barret. If you do not hear from us in an hour…”
“We’ll call you.” Sephiroth finished. “Good luck, Vincent.”
“And to you.” Vincent grinned, “remember to hit the maintenance stairs: take a left once you leave here and at the end of the hallway, turn right and you’ll see the door marked “Staff Only” at the end. Those are the stairs.”
“Thank you.”
“Good luck Vince!” Zack squeaked from his headlock and Genesis nodded.
Vincent just snorted and shut the door behind him with a soft ‘click’.
Oh, it gets better...this misadventure concludes in Part 2 (you're still watching aren't ya, even though you know you shouldn't...)