There were several things about waking up that morning that were nothing out of the ordinary for Tony. It was early. There was a warm body next to him
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One would think that Nick was the kind of guy who could sleep through anything, but that would be wrong. He could ignore all sorts of inconsequential things, but he was most prone to waking up to strange sounds.
Like, perhaps, his girlfriend yelping and falling out of bed.
He rolled over to Karen's side of the bed, then peered over the edge. "Good morning to you, too."
Well, falling out of the bed hadn't woken him up. If anyone asked, he'd say that checking that possibility had been why he rolled out of bed.
If he ever discussed this with anyone, which he thought unlikely. Whatever this was, he wasn't a fan. He felt wrong. He smelled wrong.
Okay, he smelled kind of good, but he smelled wrong. And there was no arc reactor in his chest, which should have had fringe benefits but there were other things going on with his chest that shouldn't be, so he'd just swapped one problem for... others. A host of others.
"Good- no, it isn't," he said. "It really isn't."
He stared at the guy, trying to formulate a response to all this. Was his brain working slower, or was it just confusion?
Nick opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, just staring at Karen. He'd been on the island for long enough -- and had woken up in strange bodies, or at strange ages enough times -- to know that something weird was going on, although what it was, he didn't know.
He rubbed his hands against his eyes, then sighed. "Nick," he said, "and you're either not Karen, or you're Karen with amnesia." He couldn't decide yet, honestly.
"I'm not a fan of this either, you know," Nick pointed out.
This was going to be a very long day. Nick got out of bed, searching for a t-shirt to put on. At least he was mostly properly clothed, this time.
It was pretty sad that there was an any time, really.
"Never had the whole 'wake up in someone else's body' experience, I take it?" He pulled a t-shirt on, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Who are you normally, I mean, when you're not inhabiting my girlfriend's body?"
"You're just not getting nookie, I... am nookie, I win," Tony said, after a long pause where he stared at Nick as if not comprehending any of what was being said or going on.
Which was partially the case, and it was almost as unusual an experience for Tony as being a woman was. He couldn't decide which he disliked most.
"And by win, I- no, never. This is a first. This is an... unpleasant first. Tony Stark. I am usually Tony Stark." He paused. Possible explanations were occurring to him. "Probably."
Nick was all ready to break in and remind Karen's temporary guardian that it was probably a terrible idea to do anything other than sit around and play video games and do things that wouldn't get anyone in trouble. Nookie for anyone was definitely off the table.
And then: 'I am usually Tony Stark.'
Oh. The winner of the 'Who's in Your Girlfriend's Body This Time' contest was just, you know, Iron Man.
Nick's eyebrows went up a bit. "Well, Tony," he said, "congratulations. You'll be stuck like this for a couple of days, probably. Seems like it happens to everyone here, eventually. Tons of fun for everyone." He rolled his eyes; this was the exact opposite of fun.
"Right," Tony said slowly, gradually standing up, trying to get used to the fact that, while the controls were all the same, the handling was somewhat different to what he was used to. "Couple of days. Happened before. That's... not actually comforting at all, but thanks."
There'd been scientists around before, presumably they had notes. Normally he'd ask Pepper, but she'd quit and he was a woman, so, maybe not.
He started to turn and then stopped. "I guess Karen has... clothes?"
Usually, Nick was a little more comforting. It came with the job territory, really, and he liked to think of himself as a pretty empathic guy. But things like there's a dude inhabiting your girlfriend, and oh yeah, it's Tony-f'ing-Stark kind of threw him for a loop.
"It could be worse," Nick said, then paused. "I'm not entirely sure how. People haven't been turned into their pets, I don't think." There was that, then.
"She's got plenty of clothes, yeah." Nick gestured to where Karen kept her clean clothes. "Plenty to pick from." And not even mangled-by-dog, either; Utica always seemed solely interested in chewing up Nick's clothes, not Karen's.
"Human brains only," Tony said, stopping abruptly. "Okay. That'd make sense. Leave how to me, I will work on tha- will this make me look fat?"
This had nothing to do with any influence Karen's body might be having on his consciousness, he was pretty sure. He just felt that he didn't want to be a woman and badly dressed.
"No, she's not fat, nevermind. This brain is kind of... slow. Er. Than I'm used to."
"I'll pretend that none of that just came out of your mouth." Nick crossed his arms and looked at Tony-as-Karen. He was trying to ignore the fact that in about five seconds, he'd managed to somehow potentially call Karen fat and stupid. Sort of. The novelty of this was wearing off pretty quickly.
"I think that'll be fine," Nick said. After all, what did he know? All he knew was that the answer to 'will this make me look fat' was always 'of course not'. "If it isn't, Karen will probably find you and tell you."
"Right." Well, this was awkward. More awkward than it already was. "Go right on ahead, then." Nick turned around as instructed, busying himself with straightening the sheets on the bed. Anything to ignore the fact that there was a crazy guy currently getting dressed in Karen's body.
Oh, yeah. About that.
"And no funny business," he added, still facing the other direction.
"No... funny business? Comedy clubs?" Tony said, not looking at himself as much as he could, not out of any gentlemanly feelings but more in the sake of mental preservation.
Not his preferred method of seeing a woman naked.
"No, I know what you mean, and... don't be vulgar. Why would I want to get laid as a woman?"
"I don't know," Nick said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm pretty sure it's one of those things that I'm supposed to say just, you know, in case. I'm sure someone out there in this place woke up in someone else's body and was like, 'hey, I'm going to go screw around in it'." If there was anything that Nick knew about, it was the weird things people did when they didn't think they'd get caught. "Are you done over there?"
Like, perhaps, his girlfriend yelping and falling out of bed.
He rolled over to Karen's side of the bed, then peered over the edge. "Good morning to you, too."
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If he ever discussed this with anyone, which he thought unlikely. Whatever this was, he wasn't a fan. He felt wrong. He smelled wrong.
Okay, he smelled kind of good, but he smelled wrong. And there was no arc reactor in his chest, which should have had fringe benefits but there were other things going on with his chest that shouldn't be, so he'd just swapped one problem for... others. A host of others.
"Good- no, it isn't," he said. "It really isn't."
He stared at the guy, trying to formulate a response to all this. Was his brain working slower, or was it just confusion?
"I'm- just remind me, who are you?"
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He rubbed his hands against his eyes, then sighed. "Nick," he said, "and you're either not Karen, or you're Karen with amnesia." He couldn't decide yet, honestly.
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Nope, he didn't remember it from anywhere. Although it seemed to fit the face on some sort of unconscious level, which would make sense if he was-
"That first one," Tony said. "Not Karen, just- I'm Karen? I'm... in Karen?"
He made a face and looked down at... not himself. This was not the best of days. "Okay. Okay. Right. That's- this is weird. I'm not a fan of... this."
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This was going to be a very long day. Nick got out of bed, searching for a t-shirt to put on. At least he was mostly properly clothed, this time.
It was pretty sad that there was an any time, really.
"Never had the whole 'wake up in someone else's body' experience, I take it?" He pulled a t-shirt on, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Who are you normally, I mean, when you're not inhabiting my girlfriend's body?"
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Which was partially the case, and it was almost as unusual an experience for Tony as being a woman was. He couldn't decide which he disliked most.
"And by win, I- no, never. This is a first. This is an... unpleasant first. Tony Stark. I am usually Tony Stark." He paused. Possible explanations were occurring to him. "Probably."
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And then: 'I am usually Tony Stark.'
Oh. The winner of the 'Who's in Your Girlfriend's Body This Time' contest was just, you know, Iron Man.
Nick's eyebrows went up a bit. "Well, Tony," he said, "congratulations. You'll be stuck like this for a couple of days, probably. Seems like it happens to everyone here, eventually. Tons of fun for everyone." He rolled his eyes; this was the exact opposite of fun.
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There'd been scientists around before, presumably they had notes. Normally he'd ask Pepper, but she'd quit and he was a woman, so, maybe not.
He started to turn and then stopped. "I guess Karen has... clothes?"
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"It could be worse," Nick said, then paused. "I'm not entirely sure how. People haven't been turned into their pets, I don't think." There was that, then.
"She's got plenty of clothes, yeah." Nick gestured to where Karen kept her clean clothes. "Plenty to pick from." And not even mangled-by-dog, either; Utica always seemed solely interested in chewing up Nick's clothes, not Karen's.
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This had nothing to do with any influence Karen's body might be having on his consciousness, he was pretty sure. He just felt that he didn't want to be a woman and badly dressed.
"No, she's not fat, nevermind. This brain is kind of... slow. Er. Than I'm used to."
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"I think that'll be fine," Nick said. After all, what did he know? All he knew was that the answer to 'will this make me look fat' was always 'of course not'. "If it isn't, Karen will probably find you and tell you."
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"...could you turn around? Lady changing, here."
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Oh, yeah. About that.
"And no funny business," he added, still facing the other direction.
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Not his preferred method of seeing a woman naked.
"No, I know what you mean, and... don't be vulgar. Why would I want to get laid as a woman?"
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